TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE
when the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
i can offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
The rain drummed upon the windows as it had been doing all day with no sign of letting up any time soon. It was one of those summer storms that left you curled up on the couch in sweats in the the middle of July.
And that's where I was, on my couch after a delicious Pino's dinner with Stephanie curled up at my side. My hand absently rubbed her back while I half listened to the television and Stephanie talked about her day. Moments like these I loved and wished more than anything to have them the rest of my life.
Stephanie started to describe the scene of her and Lula chasing down an FTA earlier that comically involved a run in with some dogs and trash and I couldn't help but laugh. She lightly punched me in the stomach and I looked down at her.
"What?" Her face held a serious expression but there was a certain twinkle in her wonderfully blue eyes that told me that, though she also found the situation amusing, she was trying very hard not to encourage me. I, in return, just gave her a goofy grin and the smile she was trying so hard to keep back burst out, lighting up her beautiful face. Yeah, I could do this for the rest of my life.
"You aren't supposed to laugh at that! It was very traumatizing at the time and you are supposed to at least pretend to be traumatized with me while I tell you, not find my humiliation amusing...even if it is." I kissed her forehead and smoothed down her hair.
"I'm sorry, Cupcake. It must have been simply awful. What happened next?"
when the evening's shadows and the starts appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
i could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love
"Well, luckily Ranger showed up and saved us." At the mention of his name my hand on her back paused and clenched a couple times while I tried to get myself under control. My feeling for him were complicated. In reality, if it wasn't for Stephanie, we would probably get along fine. Not that I would invite him over for a game or anything, but in the end he was just a guy doing the same thing I did. Even if he was his own man and his methods were a bit shady, I could still respect him. Plus the fact he has saved Stephanie's life on multiple occasions.
Stephanie.
When you throw Stephanie into the equation I hate the guy. He is always putting her in danger even if he's protecting her. And the way he looks at her. I hate that look in his eyes. The worst is the look in her eyes. It wasn't the same as his, but she always got excited or perks up at the simple mention of his name. In times of trouble, it is usually Ranger that comes to her rescue, becomes her knight in shining armor before I can even make it to the scene. At those times I am grateful for Ranger and his ways, but I'm also scared it is moment like those that are driving her into his waiting arms.
Just like Ranger, I would do anything for her...but how can I compete with Batman?
i know you haven't made your mind up yet
but i will never do you wrong
i've known it from the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong
"Joe? Are you ok?" Pulled out of my reverie, I looked over at Steph again. She has sensed my sudden shift in moods and was looking at me with concern in her eyes. Yet here she is, I told myself. After all the fights, after all the Ranger encounters, she always comes back to your side, looking up at you with love in her eyes.
"Joe?" I cupped her cheek and planted a light kiss upon her lips.
"Sorry, Cupcake. Between work and this gloomy weather I guess I'm just feeling a little out of it and I zoned out. I'm back though." Whether she believed me or not, or if she even noticed the original reason for my discomfort, she didn't let it show as she smiled and snuggled back into my side. I wrapped my arm around her a little bit tighter than before.
i'd go hungry i'd go black and blue
i'd go crawling down the avenue
no there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love
"Joe, do you know who Frank Ruggeri is?"
"Yeah, and I don't want you anywhere near him." My body went tense again at the thought of her interacting with the likes of Frank Ruggeri. "Please don't tell me he is one of your FTAs." Silence.
"He's not that dangerous, is he? I mean he's in for public drunkenness. Got caught in a barroom brawl. Not even armed," she said cautiously, as if to cross the line one toe at a time. I looked at her, very seriously, with my cop face as she would say.
"Steph, listen to me. This guy has been behind a lot of murders over the years but no one can actually pin anything on him. That's how good this guy is. He is a psychopath and do not hesitate for a moment in thinking that he'll hurt you. Because as soon as he decides you are in his way, you are as good as dead." She grabbed my hands and squeezed them reassuringly. She smiled and I knew she wasn't going to listen to anything I said. She really could be too stubborn for her own good sometimes.
"Don't worry. I'll be careful."
"No, you won't take this case. Give it to Ranger."
"Ranger will come and help me-" I stood up abruptly and kicked the couch, cutting off her sentence. She just didn't get it! "Joe! Just relax-"
"Relax? You want me to relax? How can I relax when my girlfriend is gallivanting around Trenton with Ranger after one of the city's most dangerous men?" I was pacing now, arms flailing and anger and frustration poured out of me. "Just shoot me now! It'll be easier than dealing with your case!"
"I'm not quitting my job or this case. It's mine and I always see my cases through," she countered. I looked over my shoulder at her. She stood now, hands on her hips and glaring eyes pointed right at me. The calm before the storm. Unfortunately, my storm had already started and the little voice telling me to avoid a fight was ignored.
the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret
the winds of change or blowing wild and free
you ain't seen nothing like me yet
"I'm not telling you to quit your job. Lord knows I wish you would but I know a hopeless cause when I see one. I'm telling you not to take on more than you can handle and stick with the easy cases."
"Oh so I am incompetent now? Why don't you tell that to every guy I brought in! And if you don't recall, this was an easy case. You're just peeved because of Ranger!" Now she hit a chord. We had entered the point of no return.
"And for good reason! He wants you as bad as I do and I don't trust him!"
"For the last time, Joe, we are friends, nothing more!"
"Then why did you sleep with him?" I don't know why I said it or even realized what I was spewing but there it was. I had head a rumor a while back and always had it in the back of my mind. But before I could apologize for my slip, Stephanie responded.
"But-I...How did you know?" She was no longer the stubborn bull. All her force left, leaving her body looking weak, tired, and guilty. My breath hitched. I never actually believed the rumor.
"I had hear talk but never actually thought...SHIT!" I punched the wall and left a hole. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her flinch and my heart continued to break.
"It's not like I cheated. We technically weren't together at the time..." her voice trailed off and I could tell that this was hurting her as much as it was me.
"Technically. And that's supposed to make me feel better? We always got back together. We did get back together. I really can't fault you, but still. Why Ranger? With all the mean out there why did you have to choose him?"
"When I left you didn't come after me. I waited for days but you never showed." A single tear slid down her cheek. She looked so dejected and vulnerable that I wanted to cry myself.
I walked over and stood in front of her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them as she had done to me not ten minutes ago. As bad as I felt, I hated seeing her like this.
"Cupcake, you mean more to me than anything. I would do anything for you, just to see you smile. I just can't stand the fact of you in danger or with another man. I love you too much."
"I know, Joe. I-I-I-"
"Do you love him?" Again with the spewing of thoughts. But she looked up at me with sad, blue eyes and hesitated, telling me everything I needed to know.
I pushed back from her, angry again. "Fine. Just leave! Get out and go run into Ranger's arms!" I yelled. She was angry again too.
"You know what? I will! See ya, Joe." And with that, she grabbed her purse and marched out the door.
It took a couple minutes to calm down, but when I did I was instantly uncomfortable. I was standing in the middle of an all too empty room, everything silent except for the soft hum of the television and the drumming of the rain.
This was exactly what I was afraid of. She had been driven to Ranger, and I had just pushed her there again. I instantly regretted everything I had said and wished she was back with me.
i could make you happy make your dreams come true
nothing that I wouldn't do
go to the ends of the earth for you
to make you feel my love
In a split-second decision I grabbed my keys and ran for the door, hoping to catch her en route. I wasn't going to let this happen again, I wasn't going to lose her. I was gonna show her that I was much better than Ranger.
As soon as I got out the door I stopped, oblivious to everything except for Stephanie's latest car sitting at the curb in front of me with her in the passenger seat. When she saw me she got out and came to stand a couple feet away. We both stood and stared at each other until we were soaked before she said something.
"You came after me."
"I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. You never left."
"I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice," she repeated my words before we fell into silence again.
"Look," she started after a bit, "I admit that I have lustful feelings for Ranger. But honestly so does every other female. Any girl would be crazy not to feel that way. But he is only a dear friend. Nothing more. It's you, Joe Morelli, that I truly, honest-to-God, love more than any man. Somehow I've known since I was six that you're the one for me."
Without saying a word, I quickly closed the distance and pulled her into the sweetest, most passionate kiss two people could share. My heart soared and my mind was at peace. She was all mine. We parted only when air was absolutely necessary. A huge smile played on both our faces.
"So," I said, leading her back into the house, "What do you say, Cupcake? Should we head upstairs for the make-up party?"
to make you feel my love 3
