Another side story? Really, I can't stay on track for anything. *Sigh* This one will probably just be a two-part story, though. Or maybe three. Who knows.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece

Warnings: Language

As always, enjoy!


Zoro kicked sulkily at the packed dirt covering the narrow trail he was currently strolling along, hands in his pockets and scowl firmly in place. Why he was ever forced to take orders from that damned obnoxious sea witch was beyond him. Not that he minded hunting on a mostly-uninhabited and densely-forested island for the upteenth time that month (it did in fact give him a break from his exuberant crew), it was the way he was told to get his ass into the woods right that minute, without so much as a 'please' or 'thank you', that really got under his skin.

He was beginning to feel that he was being seriously taken advantage of (the rest of the crew had figured that out ages ago, bar Luffy, although no one had enlightened the swordsman). Zoro was just starting to ponder on going back to the Sunny, with or without a Luffy-sized meal in tow, when a small squeaking sound from near the heel of his boot caught his attention. Zoro looked down toward the source of the noise and frowned.

"The hell?" he muttered. "What are you supposed to be?"

His stern gaze was met with a pair of large black eyes, surrounded by a small furry face and a twitching pink nose. The small creature, which closely resembled a brown squirrel or something similar, squeaked morosely in reply. It was curled up at the edge of the dirt path with its bushy tail hiding most of its tiny body.

Zoro studied it for a moment longer, decided it was too small to eat, and began walking away down the path, hands still in his pockets.

"Squeeek!" the little animal wailed.

Zoro grunted in annoyance and turned back to look down at it. "What do you want?" he snapped. He quickly closed his mouth as he realized he was yelling at a rodent and spun on his heel once again.

"Squee-!"

"The hell!" The swordsman stomped over to the creature and reached down, picking it up by the scruff to hold it at eye-level. "What's your problem, you damned pest?"

The animal gave him another squeak and a pitiful look that could rival the captain's whenever Luffy was convinced he was dying of hunger.

That must be it, Zoro thought. The little monster was most likely hungry. "I don't have any food," he told it.

The creature whimpered and looked at him again with pleading eyes and, to Zoro's unending annoyance, he found himself feeling a bit sorry for the pesky rodent. He gave another grunt and set the fur ball in his other palm, where it proceeded to curl up and cover the bottom half of its face with its bushy tail.

"Squee…"

"Dammit!" Zoro growled. He glanced around furtively to make sure none of his crew members had somehow managed to find their way to this part of the forest, then stuffed the little squirrel-like animal into his haramaki. It popped its head out of the top of the green band and gave him a curious look.

"No noise," he warned it. "You get some food, then you get lost. Got it?" He scowled at himself once again for talking to any animal that wasn't Chopper, then turned around and began to walk down the path from the direction he had come.

He was pretty sure that was the direction, anyway.


Two hours later Zoro finally found himself standing at the shore next to the Sunny. He didn't remember it taking quite so long to get to where he had been in the woods previously, but then decided the other Straw Hats had probably moved the ship while he was out hunting. At least this island was a smaller one, or it would have taken him much longer to locate his wayward crew members.

Zoro reached down and stuffed the squirrel-thing's head back inside his haramaki to keep it out of sight before pulling himself up to the deck by the extra lengths of rope hanging over the side. The tiny beast chirped in protest but Zoro ignored it. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with pathetic wildlife and found himself wondering (again) why he had even brought the damn thing along with him.

Zoro didn't see anyone out on the deck as he moved as quickly as he could toward the galley, readying himself for a battle of wills with the annoying cook in order to obtain a bit of food for the little pest now pawing almost frantically at his shirt.

"Knock it off," the swordsman hissed in irritation. "You wanna get us kicked off the ship?" To his complete surprise, not that he would ever show it, the animal stopped squirming and lay very still inside the haramaki, stretching itself out vertically to blend in with the ridges of the band.

Zoro was beginning to wonder if the thing could actually understand him as he quietly opened the door to the kitchen and looked around for the head of blonde hair that usually dwelt in the area.

"What do you want, shitty swordsman?"

Ah. There he was.

Zoro stepped fully into the kitchen and closed the door. "Bread," he answered in his most none-caring tone. "Or peanuts, or something."

Sanji, standing between the stove and the counter, glared at Zoro over the lit cigarette clamped between his teeth. "Since when do you eat just bread?" he frowned. "And you don't even like peanuts, dumbass." He gave the other man a suspicious once-over. "What are you up to?"

"Piss off, dart brow," Zoro scowled, feeling suddenly defensive. "I just want some, alright?" He planted his feet and had to force himself to remain still as Sanji pushed off from the counter and moved a few steps toward him. He kind of doubted the rodent inside his haramaki would keep quiet for very long if he got into a brawl with the cook, and was equally unsure that Nami would allow it to stay on the ship. Zoro wouldn't put it past the witch to accuse it of carrying some kind of disease and toss the little bastard over-board.

Sanji paused in his advance when the door to the kitchen opened again and Chopper came in, followed closely by Robin. The pair took a seat at the end of the long table, completely engrossed in whatever conversation they were holding at the moment. The cook shifted immediately into his 'pamper beautiful women' mode and skipped back to the counter to make a cold drink for the archeologist, and one for the doctor as well, leaving Zoro to give a silent sigh of relief when his secret remained undiscovered.

Zoro watched the moron cook for another moment before clearing his throat pointedly. "Well? You gonna give me some bread or not?"

"No," Sanji replied without turning away from his work. "We're eating dinner in an hour anyway, you can wait until then." He looked over his shoulder briefly. "And I suppose I'll have to dig something out of storage, since you can't even manage to hunt properly. Shitty moss head."

Aw, crap. Zoro had completely forgotten the reason he had been out on that island to begin with. He was about to start another argument when a small whine sounded from the region of his stomach and he froze.

"What the hell was that?" Sanji frowned, finally turning away from the counter with a tall blue drink in each hand.

"Nothing," Zoro answered through clenched teeth. "I'm just hungry." He was trying not to glance toward Chopper and Robin, who had both looked up at the sudden sound and were studying him curiously.

Sanji shrugged and walked over to the table to set the drinks down and Zoro took the opportunity to scan the counters for any scraps the cook might have left behind. The sooner he fed the tiny annoyance, the sooner he could get rid of it. Maybe he could use another hunting trip as his excuse.

Zoro heard another small squeak as he shifted stealthily toward the unguarded counter and silently cursed both the rodent and his own stupidity for picking the damned thing up in the first place.

"There it is again," Sanji frowned. His visible eye roamed over his precious kitchen in search of the intruder.

Zoro had just decided to abandon the entire mission when Chopper jumped suddenly from his chair and scurried across the room, flying at the swordsman's pant leg and pulling himself up to tug at the edge of the banded haramaki.

"Zoro!" the doctor scolded. "He can't breath!"

Zoro was too surprised to protest as Chopper reached inside the green band and pulled the squirrel-looking thing from its confinement, dropping back to the ground with it's tiny form held tightly to his chest. "Huh?"

"He said he couldn't breath," Chopper held it out to examine it properly. "And he's hungry."

Zoro mentally slapped himself. Of course, Chopper could understand animals, as he still kind of was one himself. How had Zoro forgotten that? "Eh…"

"That's what you brought home for dinner?" Sanji eyed the small creature doubtfully. "That thing wouldn't even fill Nami's stomach, not that I would ever allow such filthy-looking vermin near my sweet angel to begin with. But I guess I could try…"

The poor little creature began to shake in fright, still held in the safety of Chopper's hooves, and Zoro found he couldn't help himself. "Hey! Shut up! It's not for dinner!"

He regretted his outburst almost immediately when Sanji stared at him before he started making a vague coughing sound, which quickly turned into loud yips of laughter.

"You have a pet?" the blonde cook crowed gleefully, bent over with one hand on his knee. "What the hell, moss head?"

"It's not a pet, either!" Zoro growled. "I just found it, alright?"

"It's a good thing you did, too," Chopper spoke up. He was smiling down at the small animal, petting the top of its head soothingly. "He's just a baby, after all."

"Hm," said Zoro. Watching the doctor interact with the new arrival, he was now completely convinced that bringing the mini menace here had been a very bad idea.

"May I take a look at him, Doctor?" Robin asked.

"Oh, sure," Chopper nodded and took the baby critter to the table, setting it down gently in front of the black-haired woman.

Robin looked it over for a moment before nodding, almost to herself. "Yes, it's just as I thought," she said quietly.

"What is it?" Zoro and Sanji both asked at once.

"This is a baby Mastinia," Robin explained. "Only a few weeks old, I would guess. But…" she turned to Zoro. "Where did you find it?"

"On the trail," Zoro threw a thumb over his shoulder toward where he assumed the island would be. "Monster wouldn't leave me alone. I thought it was a squirrel or something."

Robin sighed as the Mastinia squeaked at Chopper before pointing its twitching pink nose toward the swordsman.

"What?" Chopper asked, eyes wide. He lowered his face toward the little animal. "Are you sure? Why?"

Zoro frowned again as he watched the baby reply with another sad whine and Chopper shake his head.

"You poor thing," the doctor said sympathetically. "Don't worry, you're safe now. Of course he can protect you."

"What now?" Zoro asked, feeling a slight apprehension as to where this was going.

Chopper looked over in surprise, apparently having forgotten the swordsman was still in the room. "Oh, well…you see…uhm…"

"The Mastinia are incredibly intelligent animals," Robin supplied, smiling at Chopper when the reindeer shot her a grateful look. "They are also very family-oriented."

"And that means what?" Zoro inquired. He was now fighting down an urge to make a hasty retreat out onto the deck, and possibly off the ship altogether. She couldn't mean…

"Well," Robin started, somehow managing to look both serious and amused at the same time. "It would appear that this little one has chose you as his new parent."

Four pairs of eyes were on him as Zoro's brain ground to a halt, trying to process this new information. After a full minute he finally found his voice again.

"Like hell!"


A/N: Ah Zoro, why are you so much fun to torture my dear? *evil laugh*

Next up, how does our favorite swordsman cope with a baby Mastinia and endure the justified teasing of his crew (without killing anyone)?

Who knows?