Going Vertical

'Fuck!'

Alec made another horizontal cut across his skin, drawing blood

'Why Jace, why can't you like me, please' a tear drops from alec's eye onto the bathroom floor, he makes another 4 cuts across his arm before he puts the blade down and sits on the toilet seat

'Alec I'm home'

Alec quickly washes the blood from the sink and his arm and hides his small blade

'What've you been doing?'

'Oh, nothing, just some work' Alec responds

'Ah okay, well I bought food, some Chinese takeaway, our third one in a row ha!'

'Cool! So seeing how no one else is here are we going to watch some scary movies or something?'

'Yeah we'll find some horror to watch, it'll be a fun night'

'Awesome!' Alec smiles and hugs Jace

'Uhh... what was that for?'

'I...I don't know, just... felt like it'

There is an awkward silence between the two, until Jace breaks it

'Okay well go over to the TV and find some scary movies to watch while I plate up the Chinese'

'Sure thing'

A few minutes pass and the boys are sat down eating their Chinese and watching a horror movie. The two are sitting next to each other, Alec can't help but look at Jace and admire his beauty, he looks away and thinks about the things he does to his arm, and why he does them. He thinks about the blood that he draws from his arm, and how good it feels.

'Alec, are you okay?'

Alec quickly exits his mind and jumps back into reality

'Yeah I'm fine, why'd you ask?'

'You just looked abit lost, and worried, what were you thinking about?'

Deep down Alec wanted to tell Jace, he wanted to admit his feelings for him, and what he does to himself because he doesn't love him back, but he couldn't, Jace would not accept him, he would outcast him.

'Nothing, just thinking about food tomorrow'

'Okay, at least you're feeling fine'

A few hours passed and Jace had gone to bed but Alec was still awake, in the bathroom. He reached behind the medicine cabinet, grabbed his small blade and put it to his arm. He began to cut away, exposing the inner flesh, the blood trickled down his arm onto the floor and into the sink. He carved away at his skin until the blade and his arm was shaded a thick red, his tears mixed in with the blood running down his wrist and arm, sometimes he wished he could die, he had the power, he could simply put that blade to his throat at make and quick slice and he's be over, but that would ruin Jace, it would kill him on the inside, so he never did it.

Several weeks pass and alec continues to cut himself over Jace, he eventually ran out of room on his left arm and moved to his right, which was scar free, but not for long, Jace sometimes mentioned blood stains in the sink but alec simply used the excuse that he accidently cut himself while shaving.

'Alec are you okay? I've noticed over the past few weeks you've seemed depressed'

'Jace...

Alec felt at this moment that he was going to tell Jace everything, the cutting the bleeding, his feelings, everything, but he didn't

...I feel fine'

Jace stared at Alec for a moment then spoke

'Okay... if you say so'

As Jace walked away Alec quickly ran after and grabbed him by the shoulder

'Alec what are yo-'

Before Jace could finish Alec put his lips onto Jaces. Jace was in shock; he didn't know how to respond, so he stayed there and didn't do anything.

Alec put his hand on Jaces head and continued to kiss him. After what seemed like an eternity to Alec, he stepped back and looked at Jace who was still in surprise

'Sorry' Alec murmured

'It's... its okay... I'm going to go now okay'

Jace quickly ran off leaving Alec behind

Alec's smile quickly turned to a sullen frown

'What was I thinking...he'll... he'll never love me'

Alec walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind him; he reached for his blade and put it into a vertical stance on his wrists. He made a quick motion and cut straight up his entire arm, and spurted line of blood went across the mirror and wall, he switched hand and put the blade vertical to his other arm and made another quick motion. In the cut one of his veins broke loose and flailed over his arm. He picked it up and forced the blade through the line of flesh causing it to spray with blood cross his face and the room. Finally he put the blade to his throat and took a big gulp as his slit his neck open exposing the red, bloody, spurting flesh. As he lay against the wall gurgling on his own blood and drenched in red Jace started banging on the door

'Alec! What are you doing?'

'Alec please say something...'

With 3 smashes on the door with his foot Jace broke through and saw Alec bleeding out

'OH FUCK, FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck'

Jace hugged Alec covering himself in his friend's blood

'Why didn't you tell me!...'

'I'm so sorry, this is all my fault'

Jace looked around and saw Alec's razor blade, the one he used to end his life with

Jace took the blade and put it to his neck

'I love you Alec, I'm sorry...'

He quickly kissed Alec's lifeless corpse, he pressed the blade harder onto his neck readying a swift arm movement, until out of nowhere, he notices a small, little apple on the ground in the corner of his eye

"What..."

Jace lowered the blade, his neck slightly cut from the force he put upon it. He approached the little apple as if it were a small creature

"You look cute, little apple, will you stay with me?"

There was no response, the apple remained silent

"I think I love you apple, you can be my new Alec."