A HEAVY LOSS
"Severus, please..." Dumbledore was pleading.
Snape moved forward pushing Draco aside roughly and all the other Death Eaters fell back. Even the werewolf seemed cowed. He raised his wand at Dumbledore. His face was lined with hate and fury. "Avada Kedavra" he whispered and a green light shot from his wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in his chest.
Harry awoke with a start. He was sweating and his breath was coming in hard gasps. This was the second night he had had the same dream. He could not believe it, could not accept it. Dumbledore was gone. He was left alone to end this war. Strangely, he did not feel afraid anymore. He knew what he had to do. His parents, Sirius, Dumbledore had all died to protect him. He had to remember that.
He remembered what Dumbledore had told him. He could choose to do nothing. He could run away from Voldemort all his life and never face him. The prophecy would come true only if he wanted it to come true. But he knew he couldn't back out. He couldn't live with himself knowing he had been a coward. The rage he was feeling now would destroy him. He felt disgusted with the thought. Even as he lay in his bed that day, he knew the prophecy would come true. He would face Voldemort, whether in a day or month or year, he did not know. He would. But to what end. "Neither can live while the other survives."
It was still dark outside and a glance at his clock told him it was only four o' clock. There was a chilling mist that was highly uncommon for summer in Privet Drive. He groped under the pillow and pulled out a locket. He twisted it absentmindedly in hands for sometime and opened it. There was a piece of paper inside but he did not take it out to read it. He knew exactly what it read. He had been staring at it ever since he had reached home. He hardly ever went out of room except for his meals.
What Dumbledore said to the Dursley's last summer came back to him with a twinge of fear. The protection would not last after this birthday. Did the protection still last with Dumbledore gone? He wondered why he was afraid. He planned to leave long before that, on a dark journey in which he was bound to face greater dangers. He was afraid to face him before he had found all the horcruxes. Until then his confrontation will be in vain.
Bill and Fleur's wedding was on the 10th of June, six days from now. Harry felt they wanted to rush it. He remembered the conversation from last summer. He wondered how Bill was getting along, if any of his wolfish characters had been seen yet. He had to attend it. He had to meet his friends once before he left, not knowing whether he would ever see them again. He would not be returning to Hogwarts this term.
He knew he had to finish what Dumbledore had started before Voldemort realised he was after them. Dumbledore believed he was still ignorant of the Slytherin ring. But Dumbledore believed in a lot of things. He trusted Snape.
Harry remembered it was Snape who saved Dumbledore when he was dying from the curse upon the ring. So Snape knew Dumbledore was after the horcruxes. So now Voldemort knew it too. Harry could not help wondering why Snape had let Dumbledore live that day when he might as well have killed him. Why did Snape let Dumbledore live all these years after Voldemort's return? Maybe Voldemort wanted Draco to do it. Was Draco that special? Wasn't Dumbledore's death the greatest thing Voldemort ever wanted. Well, next to Harry's death of course.
He was thinking ahead for his quest. He would need to know how to defend himself and with Voldemort, how to kill. His stomach churned with the thought of killing someone, even Voldemort. But he knew he had to end it, for everyone's sake. He got up and switched on the light.
A couple of Daily Prophets lay on the table. There was nothing in them except Dumbledore's death, more death and destruction and the Ministry's promises. The Ministry guidelines for protections were still being distributed. "Scrimgeour says Dumbledore's death doesn't change anything."" Ministry hot on the heels of Death Eaters. Will catch You Know Who very soon." "Ministry apprehends two students in connection with Dumbledore's murder." Harry read through to find out it was only Crabbe and Goyle. It was of no use. Malfoy told them nothing. He knew what had happened, why Malfoy had acted the way he did, but to admit that would mean he admitted being with Dumbledore on the Astronomy Tower that night, and the Ministry could probably legally force him to talk of where he had gone with Dumbledore. From Scrimgeour's talk at the funeral Harry gathered they didn't have any proof.
He thought of going to Diagon Alley today and get some books and stuff which would help him. But he was wondering if he should venture out at this time. Would Voldemort be waiting for him to make a rash move? Or would he be confident that Harry would go into hiding now that Dumbledore was dead? But Harry knew he had less than two months for his protection to end. He had to make the most of it. He decided to write to Remus to come along. He had talked to him at King's Cross and found out he was no longer trying to get to the werewolfs. Not after Greyback had seen him fight on Dumbledore's side. He had fought too hard to be pretending. He took a piece of parchment and wrote a note to Remus asking him if he could come here sometime this morning, about eleven. The Dudleys were going to a newly opened amusement park, leaving Harry behind as usual. This time though Harry was perfectly fine with it. He had enough stomach upsets with apparation anyway.
He got up and decided to write two more letters, to Ron and Hermione. Maybe they could come along. He sent Hedwig off with the three letters and opened up his Defense Against the Dark Arts book and began to read. After ten minutes he decided he could not. He could not stop thinking. He did not know if he would go back to Hogwarts this term. He had at first decided not to. Ron and Hermione had offered to come along with him. He hadn't said anything at that time, but was not sure now. He had sacrificed too many close to him. But he would need help.
He lay down and started pondering on all that
had happened. Snape's flight came back to him as clearly as if it had
happened an hour ago. "Blocked again and again until you learn
to close your mind and your mouth Potter." Harry knew he was
right. He needed to keep his mind clear if he wanted to do anything.
He sat down and tried clearing his
mind.
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He
woke up at ten, not knowing when he had fallen asleep. He was
slightly glad that his practice had worked. He had slept without any
dreams. He got up to see a Daily Prophet lying on the table. Hedwig
was back in his cage sleeping. He was hungry. Being sure, the
Dursleys would have left by now, he took the paper, pocketed his wand
and proceeded down glancing at the headlines as he walked down the
stairs.
"Ministry raids Knocturn Alley
Last night the
Ministry officials raided Knockturn Alley in what is believed to be a
result of Wednesday's happenings. Word is that a Vanishing Cabinet
from Borgin and Burke which connects to another in Hogwarts was used
to smuggle Death Eaters into the school castle which resulted in the
death of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. But how such a great wizard was
overcome by the Death Eaters is not known. Rumor goes that Harry
Potter who nowadays is said to be "The Chosen One" was with
him on the Tower. How he escaped when Dumbledore could not, one can
only speculate. The Ministry raid ended up closing many illegal
activities which were surprisingly overlooked until now. Many illegal
items, believably to be related to Dark Magic were confiscated and
are being carefully tested and disposed of in the Ministry. But
nothing seems to be enormously important though Ministry officials
seem to differ. 'A vanishing cabinet is not something which is
dangerously harmful in itself but it has been known to cause
trouble,' said Arthur Weasley, head of the Office for the Detection
and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective
Objects.' We have confiscated a lot of items recognisably dangerous
which we are not at liberty to reveal to public for obvious reasons.'
The store of Borgin and Bruke has been closed for dealing in illegal
magic. The head of the store, William Borgin however denies knowledge
of Wednesday's activities and says he found the store broken into the
next morning. He has been apprehended by the Ministry for further
questioning."
Seeing nothing more of importance in the paper, Harry folded it and threw it aside making it a point to ask Remus more about the raids. He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of jam. Raspberry. Tears which he had been holding back for days began to flow. He knew he never again would have another one of those conversations. Serious though they may be Dumbledore was the only person who could be lighthearted at such times.
Suddenly he heard a loud crack behind him in the living room. Instinctively he drew his wand and proceeded carefully towards the room.
"Harry, are you there?" he heard the voice of Hermione, but he kept silent.
"Maybe he's in his room", he heard the voice of Remus Lupin. He relaxed a bit but still entered the room with his wand raised.
"Harry, it's us. You can lower your wand," said Hermione.
"No", Lupin interrupted. "Ask away Harry."
"What did Dad and Sirius call Snape?" asked Harry.
"Snivellus," Lupin replied with a grin. Harry was not embarassed of the thought anymore, not after everything Snape had done. He was sure Snape wouldn't have told anyone about that and Snape himself would never grin.
"You Hermione, what do the Weasleys call Fleur?" asked Harry more just for fun than in doubt.
"Phlegm" Hermione broke out in laughter.
Harry grinned. "Where's Ron?" he asked. "Didn't he come with you?"
"He hasn't passed the apparation test, remember. He wouldn't apparate alongside Remus. It would hurt his pride," she said in a wicked imitation of Ron's voice that made Harry roll with laughter. "You should have seen his face when we said we were going to apparate. We have to open up your fireplace. They've got it blocked."
Remus, still grinning at Hermione's imitation, flicked his wand and opened up the fireplace. He threw a bit of floo powder into the fire and poked his head in. A minute later he pulled back and the figure of Ron Weasley emerged from the fire place.
"Hey mate! I was just asking Mom if I could come visit you just this morning. She didn't allow. Thought your uncle would create trouble for you. Is he around? We're legal wizards now," said Ron eagerly.
"Shut up Ron. Don't be stupid. You're not allowed to do magic in front of muggles anyway." said Hermione reprovingly. "Ginny wanted to come. But Mrs. Weasley put her foot down. She didn't want too many of us getting involved. She said it might be too conspicious and dangerous, especially since it's us."
"You know, you guys remind me a lot of us when we were young.", said Remus, speaking after a long time.
"Well, it's not like we go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds us," said Harry.
"Norbert," asked Lupin grinning.
"Ok, maybe once."
"Aragog?" "Ok, maybe once or twice. Not like you guys."
"And what about you Hogsmede trips in your third year? And the DA.?" "Fine, fine I get the point," Harry agreed grinning. It always made him proud to be compared with his Dad.
"So Harry, you said something about a trip to Diagon Alley. I'm responsible for your safety and have to decline," said Lupin. "It's still too dangerous outside Harry, for everyone and especially for you."
"Do you want me to hide? After all that my parents, Sirius and Professor Dumbledore did so that I could live and do what I have to do? Is that what my Dad would have done?", shouted Harry in protest, though he was prepared for this.
"Don't try the guilt trick with you father's name Harry. Your parents, Sirius and Dumbledore laid down their lives to protect you. You should know better than to throw away your life, after all they've done for you. And can I ask what is it that you have to do?" said Lupin seriously.
"No, you cannot. That is for me to do and you better not stop me. I am going to face trouble tomorrow if not today. I am not going to sit idle like a coward while Voldemort is out there. Professor Dumbledore, I know personally, would not want me to do that. He wanted me to do what I had to do," said Harry more composed. He did not want to let slip his purposes to anyone, not even the Order, not even Lupin. He was sure they would try to stop him and also, the fewer that know it the better. "I need your help in a few things, Remus. You can help me if you like or I do it on my own. But you're not going to stop me." He had said the words in such an icy tone that Ron and Hermione were taken aback. Lupin, however was grinning.
"You have more of Lily in you than I thought. She used the same tone when she wanted her way. Needless to say she always got it. Even your Dad was scared of her when she used such tones. She always had a strong spirit. Looks like you can't be dissuaded Harry. The best I can do then is to help you. I'll call Tonks to come along for extra protection and we'll leave in a couple of hours. But we won't be going anywhere if you three don't wipe those grins off your face. You sure the Dursleys won't be returning before then Harry?"
"Yep," replied Harry. "They won't be back before evening."
"It's not good for them to be out late. Anyway, let me send Tonks the message." He flicked his wand and out came a silvery figure, but it flew out of the window before Harry could make out what it was. " Now Harry, what exactly did you want from Diagon Alley anyway?"
"A few books and other stuff. I want to get as much practice in defense and hexing as possible. And you can start helping me by teaching me to send messages using Patronuses," said Harry.
" Yeh Remus, can you teach us that. And also some really good spells to fight," added Ron.
"All in good time. We can start practice after we get back," said Remus. "But Harry, do you want to stay here or move to the Burrow or Grimmauld Place? I mean, Dumbledore's protection will last until you turn of age. That requires that you come here once a year and call it home. But you needn't stay here. A few days stay should be enough."
"I was thinking of some other place. The Burrow is bound to be busy with all the wedding activities. And I definitely don't want to back to Grimmauld Place. But tell me, what's going on in the Order, now that Professor Dumbledore's gone?" asked Harry.
"Well," said Lupin uncomfortably," we are continuing the usual activities but you should understand what a big blow Dumbledore's death has been for the Order. He founded the Order and has always led it. We have always looked to him for instructions and followed them. Now we feel stranded. Snape had been providing information from the other side, or so we thought, to Dumbledore and he acted upon them. He has never confided what he did to any one of us. Not that it mattered when he was alive. But now, the Order is crippled. Arthur, Tonks, Kingsley and others follow the Ministry orders. There are still regular patrols in Hogsmede and other places, even Privet Drive, Harry but we are blind as to the next move. Alastor has temporarily taken over the Order activities in Dumbledore's absence until we decide what to do."
"So now, nothing is being done to prevent Voldemort. With the Order down, his Death Eaters have no opposition. And Remus, what about the raid in the papers, of Borgin and Burke. Any results?" asked Harry.
"Nothing out of the ordinary. Many jinxed items like the one which Katie Bell got last year."
"Scrimgeour doing anything?"
"He is definitely doing more than Fudge. After all he was the head of the auror department. He doesn't take Voldemort too lightly. But there is little he can do, Harry. Voldemort is probably one of the smartest wizards. Dumbledore was the only one who could properly forsee his plans. Everyone is at a loss with him gone."
"Can Harry, Hermione and I join the order this year? We are all of age," asked Ron hopefully.
"Too dangerous Ron. You need to have passed school atleast," said Lupin.
"No," said Harry firmly." We've gone through as much as many in the Order and more than some. And let's face it, with Professor Dumbledore and Snape gone, I am the one who knows the most about Voldemort. Dumbledore did tell me a few things of his past which might turn useful. And to be truthful I will need all the help I can get in completing what I have to do."
"And you can't tell us what it is?"
"No. It's my task. I'll tell you if the need arises. By the way, is No.12 Grimmauld Place still headquarters?"
"Yes," replied Lupin. "The protections held even after Sirius' death."
"So who's the secret keeper?" asked Hermione who had been listening to this conversation in rapt silence.
"Alastor right now, but we are thinking of newer protections since Snape knows its whereabouts. A meeting has been called tomorrow to decide what has to be done. Maybe you can attend it. Now I'm not promising, but I'll present the case to Alastor tonight."
"Tonks is here," announced Hemione who had been gazing out of the window.
"Good, let's get going then, said Lupin rising from his seat.
