A/N So … I have never seen any Simpsons. But I loved this challenge, so here we are!

Warning: I will be using really unusual, long, and/or make-believe words :) Thanks to Roald Dahl!


"Allright. You ready?"

LeBeau nodded determinedly. He started out of the barracks. Newkirk walked forward with him, stopping in front of Klink's office. At that moment, the Colonel stepped onto the porch, haranguing poor Shultz. "Why would I say that? It makes no sense!" He harrumphed.

Scurrying over, Newkirk and LeBeau interrupted. "Kommandant, I was hoping you could help us. This problem is very plexicated."

Klink blinked. "What?"

Newkirk nodded. "We need you to come up with a cromulent answer. You see, we have some periconbobulations in deciding whether 'itler is a fizzwiggler or a frumpet."

The Kommandant did not seem quite sure if he should be offended or not. "A Fizzwiggler?" He annunciated bemusedly.

LeBeau nodded. "Or maybe he is even a horrigust grunion!"

However, Newkirk seemed to disagree. "No, I'd only go as far as callin' 'im a kwyjibo."

This time, LeBeau disagreed. "You embiggen the fesses oscillantes*."

"All we need is a disemboweling cutlass, and we could get rid of the unholy arse." Newkirk pointed out gravely. "Then, of course, we'd 'ave to express our contrafibularatories to the Allies."

LeBeau nodded as he said, "And some phrasmotic gollups for the Germans."

Klink seemed very lost. "What is a … a contra … contrifibulairoty?"

"You know. It's what you say during a razztwizzler."

This did not help. "A … Stop! No more long words. Use less complicated English!"

LeBeau elbowed Newkirk as the Englishman suddenly started coughing. "Oui, Kommandant. We will talk no more rommytot."

Klink pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just leave. Go!"

"But sir! What about our argying?"

A near whimper escaped Klink.

Newkirk answered, "No need to bibble. We'll bloody leave."

As they turned to go, Klink heard one of them say, "You owe me twenty."


A/N I wonder what they were betting on ...

*Swinging buttocks was as close to wobble-bottom as I could get in French :)