*~Chapter 1~*
Twelve years ago...
I can still feel the crisp salty waves slide against my legs. The fresh smell of the foam
lamenting off the ocean fills my nostrils. And as I walk, my toes sink into the sand,
leaving behind a pathway of my footsteps. I looked up and gazed at the burning red sky,
watching as the sun slowly dipped into the water. At that moment, I almost wished
that I had wings, so that I could soar into the sky towards the never ending ocean.
I picked up a small seashell near my sand-covered feet, and twisted the small object
around, observing it. It had the shape of a curving tuba instrument, with light brown
tiger-like stripes circling around the body. I placed it against my ear, as if waiting to hear
a small voice from inside. My mother used to say to me that if I listened carefully, I could
hear the ocean. The sound I heard from within the seashell reminded me of white noise,
like an ultrasound scan searching for a baby's heartbeat. I smiled, and mentally laughed
at myself for doing such a childish thing. I knew I would miss the shore. I wanted to
capture this picturesque moment; it was peaceful.
Nevertheless, I suppressed a nervous flutter in my chest. Although I was not scared of
the shore itself, I was afraid that I could not come back to this place. I was afraid that I
would not remember. It wasn't until I saw a seagull flapping in the sky, that I made a
promise to myself. I promised that I would always remember this place, the feeling I
had here and that I would come back. People can forget what they had said but never a
sensation, never a feeling. I watched as the bird's silhouette disappeared into the red
sun, and turned to the call of my mother beckoning me to leave with her.
...
Two weeks later, the shore a distant memory, the doctors told my mother that they had to cut off her left breast. I found out that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her lump was growing dangerously big, and if she did not surgically remove it, it would spread further to her right breast. I couldn't help the feeling of helplessness overcome me... I knew it was even harder on my mother.
I was only twelve years old. In my mind, she was the strongest woman I knew...how could she get sick? How could someone so strong become so weak? Why? Why? Why? Why? So many unanswered questions.
I did not want to talk to her; when I did, it was usually small talk. I could not bring myself to tell her what I was feeling inside. What she had done to me. I was hurting and yet inside...she was hurting too. Physically and mentally.
I wanted scream at her. Dammit, I wanted to break something. I wanted to believe that the doctors made a mistake, that they lied about her illness. I was being unrealistic; I was emotionally unstable because I could not do anything to cure the cancer.
Even when the doctors removed her tissue, it was too late. The cancer had spread, not only through her remaining breast, but into her brain and stomach.
It was a killer. Silent and deadly.
As she worsened, she was not able to get out of bed. I spent most of my days off of school, and instead, I stayed with her in the hospital. I wanted to be there with her as she took her last breath with me. She was all I had, my everything...
The chemo therapy caused her to lose her beautiful hair. Her ugly naked head was hidden underneath a stylish scarf I made for her in art class, at school. She knew I hated it, and yet she said otherwise.
...
The day that I returned to school was one that I will never forget. No one spoke to me, not even my so-called "friends". Most of my classmates whispered indirectly towards one another, as if I was oblivious to the fact that I could hear them. I didn't care... that is what I told myself.
I remember sitting in hard seat, trying to listen to the teacher lecture about meaningless jabber. As I seemingly dozed off, i saw from the corner of my eye the vice principal, standing outside the classroom door. He opened the door and the classroom became silent. His eyes held an alarm and terrified look once he caught sight of me. His mouth gaped open like an oxygen deprived fish.
"B-Bulma...I..it's your mo-"
He didn't have enough time to finish what he was saying because I had already left the room.
...
I took hold of my mother's withering and feeble hand. I could feel her slipping away from me... slowly dying every second that passed between us. I was laying my head down on my crossed arms beside her, not wanting her to see my sadness across my face. My shoulders shook as I found it hard to not weep in front of her. I had prepared for this... didn't I?
I cringed at the sound of her soft voice saying my name, "Bulma..."
I lifted my head up, yet not meeting her eyes.
"Look at me."
Once my eyes found hers, salt tears escaped from my moist eyelids and trailed down my red cheek. She lovingly raised her fingertip to brush the side of my face. My lips quivered, "D-don't go, Momma."
She smiled solemnly at me. "I am sorry, Bulma. It's my time. I-"
"I wish I could have stayed with you forever..."
"I know, baby. I know. But you have to be strong, for me. I want you to graduate, finish school, maybe become a mother of your own kids, one day. I am sorry that I won't be able to see you grow, but please know that I love you, and that I will always be with you..." she placed her hand upon my thumping chest, "... in here."
My hand took hold of hers against my chest. "I love you, Momma..."
"Never lose sight to what is important, dear. You are my special baby girl. I love you.."
Her hand slid from within my grasp and onto the bedside. I looked into her lifeless eyes and poured out my heart to her, tears and all.
...
I barely remember the funeral. All I could recollect from my mother's burial was my last silent goodbye to her as they lowered her down into the earth. I whispered into the blood-red rose I held in my hands. I dropped the rose into the pit with my mother. I do not remember how I somehow got into my aunt and uncles' car.
They would cover my mother's coffin with nothing but dirt. Forever burying my farewell.
Goodbye...
As we drove out of the cemetery, I noticed it started to rain. It was as if the heaven's were weeping over my loss...
**A/N Hey guys! I know, i Know, i should finish my other story but i am not sure how this came about XD It may seem a little grim at the end, but it will be much better :) Veggie-head will appear!
I hope you liked this chapter….hopefully i'll redo it if its too sloppy XD please review! I would really appreciate it! (over and out)**
