If you love something, set it free

It was one week before Kurt was scheduled to leave for New York when Blaine decided it was time. He knew that leaving Kurt was going to be the hardest thing he would ever do, but he also knew that living for a year without Kurt would be just as hard, if not harder. He knew it was going to be hard to do but it was just something he would have to do. Because if you love something set it free and if it was meant to be it will come back.

That still didn't stop him from thinking he was making a terrible mistake letting the one good thing in his life go, but he couldn't be selfish in his decision. He had to think what was best for Kurt. He was going to be in a new city, with new people and he couldn't have something holding him back, especially not his silly high school boyfriend. Kurt needed to be with someone who he wouldn't have to miss. Someone he could hold or someone who could hold him and kiss him and be there.

The decision to end their almost two year relationship did not come easy to Blaine nonetheless. He had been thinking of it for a while, ever since he had found the texts from Chandler. He had fully forgiven Kurt for it after realizing that he was in fact being silly. But it still put this feeling in the pit of Blaine's stomach, like somehow if he couldn't stop Kurt from straying while they still lived in the same city, how was he supposed to expect him to stay faithful while they were in different states.

Kurt had changed him in so many ways, for good. Blaine was in a terrible place when he met Kurt, barely scraping by in life and he was never truly happy. And he still regretted to this day not realizing he was in love with Kurt sooner. They could have had so much more time together instead of the mere two years they had. Kurt had given Blaine a reason to be happy and made him feel loved even when they weren't dating yet.

And there were so many things he would miss about Kurt, his one and only first love, first kiss, first time, first everything. He would miss the way Kurt's eyes would changed colour depending on what he was wearing, or the way that they would gain this sort of light whenever Blaine was around, and how it was reserved for Blaine and Blaine only. He loved how you could see Kurt's dimples when he truly laughed, and how you could never see his teeth when he sang. He loved the cool pale tone of his skin and how it was so deceiving because Kurt's skin was almost always warm to the touch. He loved the way his nose would crinkle when Finn would go into too much information about his and Rachel's relationship, or when he was being tickled. He loved how easy it was for him to make the older boy blush even after all that time. He loved how Kurt spent so much time fussing over his clothes and hair, even though Blaine thought he looked just as sexy in sweats a stained t-shirt and bed hair. He would miss Kurt's loving and caring nature, and his heart of gold that he wore on his sleeve.

All these things rushed through his head as he drove to Kurt's home, for probably the last time. He willed himself not to cry as he got out of his car and headed over to the front door and knocking 3 times before an excited looking Kurt opened the door and pulled him in and planting a searing kiss on his lips. Blaine sighed and kissed back, kissing Kurt was probably one of the things he would miss the most.

"Hi," Kurt said.

"Hey," he replied back, it was now or never. "Kurt can we go some where and talk?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure, do you want to go to the park? Or the Lima Bean?" he asked, grabbing his wallet and keys.

"Actually do you mind if we go somewhere else, it's kind of a surprise," he said flatly, he was really dreading the next hour. He gave Kurt the directions written on a piece of paper.

"Sure honey," he said before looping his arm in Blaine's and heading out to Kurt's car. They got in the car and drove in a comfortable silence with their hands entwined on the centre council the entire way to their destination.

Blaine decided this is what he would miss the most about Kurt. Just being comfortable in silence, not feeling a need to fill the air with anything. With Kurt he felt like silence was okay and that he didn't need to say something for Kurt too know that he was there and that he loved him. With other people he had always felt the need to fill the air with a comment about the weather or a remark about the latest football scores. But not with Kurt.

Blaine sighed shakily as they pulled into the parking lot at Dalton. Kurt looked confused but followed the younger man into the abandoned school until they came to the staircase where they first met; Kurt smiled at the fond memory.

"Do you remember what happened on this stair case?" Blaine asked.

"Of course darling this is where we met!" he answered as if it was obvious, and it was. It was painfully obvious; the way Kurt's lit up when they entered the room. They moved to stand on the steps where they had been when Kurt had first tapped that stranger of a boy on the shoulder. They closed their eyes and let the memory wash over them before Blaine broke the silence.

"I have a song I want to sing you, is that okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love it when you sing to me!" he smiled before sitting down on his step. Blaine nodded before moving down to stand on the ground in front of Kurt. He started slowly;

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all

He moved towards Kurt grabbing his hand and kissing it before letting it go and returning to his original position.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

They both had tears in their eyes, Blaine because he already knew this was going to be the end…at least for now. And Kurt because he had no idea, he had a suspicion but wasn't about to confirm it himself, he could feel his hear starting to crack into pieces.

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

Blaine walking back up to Kurt grabbing his hands and resting them on his own waist before wrapping Kurt up in his embrace and swaying to the rest of the song. Their foreheads resting against each other, with tears heavily streaming down their faces.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Kurt couldn't believe what was happening, he knew what was coming after Blaine finished singing. He knew he was going to end things, Kurt had thought about it before but he knew that he couldn't break up with Blaine. They were different than most high school couples, their love was different and it was strong. Apparently Blaine didn't think the same thing.

He still didn't want the moment to end; he didn't the man he loved to break his heart into a million irreparable pieces. He didn't want the moment to be over because from now on this moment would be all he had to remember Blaine; he would have a song and a dance.

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

They continued to sway together, two pieces of a puzzle connected as one. Their bodies seem to fit together perfectly and they were so close you couldn't fit a sheet of paper in between them, and it was perfect. In that moment while Blaine sang they were just Kurt and Blaine, two teenagers who were hopelessly in love. All they needed were each other and nothing was going to hurt them. As long as they had each other everything would be okay. It didn't matter that in mere seconds Blaine was going to break both their hearts and that they would have to live the next year and possibly the rest of their lives apart. It didn't matter that through all of this they weren't just shattering their hearts and love. They were shattering all the plans they had made for the future.

No matter what vision they both had of their future, ever single one involved the other, because they were all they both had. Kurt had Blaine and Blaine had Kurt.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Kurt's heart sank, this was it. Tears streamed harder down his face than they ever had except for when his mother died and when he thought he was going to loose his father. Harder than when he was rejected by NYADA, harder than when Karofsky had threatened his life. Harder than when he had to put all that financial pressure on his father and Carole when he had transferred to Dalton to get away from the bullying. Harder than when his classmates had voted him as their prom queen and harder than when Blaine had thought he had cheated on him. This was ten times harder than that, sobs wracked through both their bodies before Blaine sand the last 8 words that would be the end of their relationship.

I'm everything I am
because you loved me

"No," Kurt said in between sobs, he didn't want it too end. Not when he had finally found happiness, and someone to love him. Not when he was finally starting to believe that he was get his 'happily ever after'.

"Kurt, baby please just listen to me okay?" Blaine pleaded; he really didn't want to end things with Kurt. But he knew that in the long run ending things now would be better than missing each other unbearably through the year too come. Kurt just made a noise through his cries that Blaine took as a half-hearted acknowledgment to go on.

"Kurt I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything else on this planet, you need to know that. And it physically pains me to do this…" Kurt cut him off.

"Then don't" he countered.

"Kurt just listen to me darling, I love you so much it scares me sometimes to think what I would do for you. I love you more than I love life because you are my life. But you are going to be in a brand new city, and you are going to have all these new experiences and I won't be there to share them with you. I don't want to be holding you back from conquering your destiny. You don't need to have to worry about your silly boyfriend who's still back in Lima in high school, and you shouldn't have to miss me. You deserve to be with someone who you can kiss and love and be with, I don't want you to have to wait for me to start your life," he ended shakily.

"Then I won't go to New York, I'll stay in Lima and go to community college for a year until you're finished high school, then we can go away to New York or where ever, together. Just please don't break up with me, not now, not after everything we've been through," he cried clinging onto Blaine sweater for dear life. Blaine held him tight and cradled him in his arms.

"It's the right thing to do honey, you can't put your life on hold for me, and I won't let you do that. You've worked to hard to get to where you are to throw it all away now. You are amazing and talented, going to New York isn't just your dream it's your destiny and Kurt I couldn't live with myself if I ever got in the way of that," he cried into his lover's shoulder. "You were my first everything Kurt. My first love, my first best friend, my first lover and the first person I will miss like I'll miss you."

"I don't want to leave you!" Kurt sobbed again and again into Blaine's shoulder. He rocked them back and forth, their tears never subsiding.

"This isn't goodbye forever, it's goodbye for now. One year and if I'm lucky enough that you're still single I will come for you Kurt. I will always come for you. If you love someone you have to set them free, and if it's true they'll come back to you, I will always some back to you. But first I need to give you a chance to live; I'm your first and only boyfriend Kurt. How do you know if I'm the one you're meant to be with when you've never even been on a date with someone else? I don't want to stop you from that," he ached for the time to stop and go back to when they could just be two teenagers in love without a care in the world.

"Can I request one last thing?" Kurt asked through his tear soaked eyelashes.

"Anything darling," he said genuinely.

"Kiss me, one last time," he stated, he looked like he was in physical pain just from stating that it would be the last time. Blaine let out another choked sob before connecting his lips with Kurt. The kiss symbolized everything, their love, the strength, courage, their longing for each other and just how much they would miss each other. It was long, lazy and drawn out because neither boy was ready to say goodbye just yet.

After what seemed like forever, but was still not enough time Blaine glanced at his watch 2:30 pm, Cooper would be waiting outside the school now to pick him up since they had token Kurt's car up. He had picked Finn up so Kurt wouldn't have to drive home himself, Blaine had thought of everything.

"Finn and Coop are outside waiting to pick us up, I didn't think either of us would be able to drive after this," he said sadly, standing up and pulling Kurt into another hug. Kurt was still sobbing; Blaine had tried to compose himself so he could leave.

"I'll always love you Kurt, goodbye," he said, kissing Kurt on the lips quickly before turning on his heel and racing outside to Cooper's car. As soon as he hit the leather seat he burst into tears, sobs wracking through his body. Cooper pulled him into a hug holding the smaller boy while he cried and whispering encouragements into his hear. The same situation happening in the school between Kurt and Finn, who had gone looking for his little brother when he had not followed Blaine out.

Neither boy was ready to say goodbye.

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I honestly don't know how I wrote this. In short I am a sobbing mess right now, legitimately. And for the record I do not want this to actually happen.

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