It's Tough To Have A Crush On You.

River's Vortex Manipulator dropped her into the interior of the Tardis with very little elegance. The heel of one of her majestic red Christian Louboutins slid with a damaging screech between the slots of the metal grating. She winced sympathetically and bent over, balancing with the ease of a ballerina as she eyed the unusual console room.

"Oh, mind your paint work?" River grumbled like mother and daughter with the Tardis as she tried to wiggle the heels out, "What about my shoe?"

"What the hell are you doing? The Doctor demanded as he stomped purposely around the console, unwittingly startling the woman bent double and seemingly arguing with the floor.

Her trapped Christian Louboutins came free with an unexpected, yet resounding snap and she stumbled forward with shoe in hand as she grappled for purchase on the lapels of his battered leather Jacket. He reached down to steady her, but as he stepped back to rebalance them, he felt his ankle hit something solid.

Rather than using his hand to break his fall he found his arms tightening protectively around her waist and unfortunately bring her down with him.

The Doctor spat curls out of his mouth and with the hand not trapped between their bodies tried to tame her hair without avail. "Bloody hell," he cursed as the hair sprung back into his face.

"And hello to you too, Sweetie," River chimed back with a smile and a touch of sarcasm, as she studied his rapidly hardening features. "New face," She exclaimed and with her most devilish smirks wiggled her hips against his experimentally. "Oh, now that is something to get excited about," she hummed out appreciatively and kissed him.

For a moment he kissed her back, pressing his mouth hard against hers with an edge of desperation and teeth, before his fingers tangled themselves into her hair and he pulled her mouth from his making her moan throatily at the loss and the spike of pleasure that tingled over her taut scalp.

"I am definitely taking you home for Christmas," she teased dropping a kiss on his exposed neck the instance he released her hair, "Mummy will very much approve, though beware Daddy's sword."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded, anger thickening his northern accent with a beautiful rough intensity.

River arched her brow at him and smirked, "You like to dominate, huh? Oh, now this is interesting, what would you prefer, my love, I know how you like a bad bad girl..." She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her behind, "Get the handcuffs, Sweetie, and I'm all yours or I could be a..." River laughed breathily and released his hand to walk her fingers up his chest, pouting when his hand slid up to the small of her back, "Simpering virgin blindly in love with a very dangerous man, it'll take some play acting on my part," River brazenly teased, "but I'm sure I can handle it, all of it," she added suggestively.

The Doctor's mouth tightened into a formidable straight line. "Who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship?"

"Breaking and entering, I like it!" She brushed her thumb against his cheek, "I told you the cat suit would make you love the odd bit of thievery." River huffed and shifted against his chest, "She's very lucky I don't bruise easily."

"Wha- Who?" He asked baffled at the string of conversation and flirtation, though he had not had much say in either so far.

"The Tardis, Sweetie. Who else?" Her fingers played along the edge of his strong nose, her eyes regarding it with delight.

"Why do you keep calling me Sweetie?" He asked uneasily, the words sounding exaggerated and wrong in his accent.

"Because you like it," She answered absentmindedly as her eyes lightened on his ears.

"Do I?" He asked surprised. He shook his head as River smiled knowingly, "Doesn't matter, I don't wanna know." The Doctor made an aggravated noise at the back of his throat as he tried to push himself up into a sitting position. "Will you gerroff!"

River patted him on the chest and pushed back into a crouch between his legs so she could slip her other shoe off. She smiled down at him when she finally stood up and nudged his inner thigh with her bare foot, "Do you need a hand up," River offered, "or are you just admiring the view?"

The Doctor coughed awkwardly and took her hand allowing this strangely intriguing woman to help him get his feet back under him. He retained her hand in his keeping as he clenched his fingers around her, his eyes never leaving hers as he interrogated her. "What's your name and what do you want?"

River frowned at him, "You know it's not fair when you play this game, because I can never tell when you're being serious."

"Rule 27-" He started.

"Yes, yes. 'Never knowingly be serious' we both know how you love that rule," River tutted as she adjusted her dress back down her thigh and tried to smooth a few creases out of the black silk. She looked around her for her diary only to realise as requested she hadn't brought it with her. "So what happened to that fancy restaurant you promised me?"

"What? Listen love I think there's been a mix up, the Tardis probably saw you ripping your way through the vortex with that... dress? and that hair, thought you were in trouble so pulled you inside. Wish she'd check to see if you were mad first," he muttered at the console.

"I heard that!" River growled and pinched his forearm.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked glowering at her and rubbing at his arm.

"For being rude. You are such a child," She laughed as he continued to nurse his arm, "Like you even felt that through all that leather." River batted his hand away to rub the spot herself and looked up at him with gentle eyes. "Oh, come here you," she said winding her arm around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.

She held him tighter as he made to pull away; arching her back slightly so his larger hands would slide round to her lower back and support her. When he finally relented and kissed her back it was with the same furious desperation as before.

His hands slid up her back and froze on her shoulder blades, his mouth stilled against hers and he slowly tilted his head back to look at her. "Hang on," he said listening carefully, "but that's not possible."

River's eyes widened in realisation, "Spoilers!" She instantly retreated, his hands chasing after her as she skipped backwards.

"No, come back, this is brilliant. Fantastic!" He said with a delighted grin as he reached for her wrist.

River made as if to retrieve her shoes and twisted at the last minute and used the momentum to swing her arm around and hit him with enough force to make her hand jar unpleasantly and for the Doctor's eyes to flicker shut.

Quick as lightening River was there to catch him as his legs softened beneath him. With a huff she man-handled him over to the jump seat and took a step back to gaze down on his peaceful face with longing.

"Sorry, my love," she whispered softly and reached into his inner pocket for the Sonic Screwdriver so she could run the blue light lovingly over the tender looking swelling on his jaw, "at least there won't be a bruise." She replaced the Sonic and dropped a soothing kiss on his healed jaw.

River wandered over to the console and flicked a few switches, quickly turning a dial down low as Frank Sinatra blared out of the speakers. She turned to pick up her shoes and as she changed the setting on her Vortex Manipulator Frank's voice filled the room making her turn back for one last look at the Doctor's long legs hanging limp over the jump seat before she disappeared.