So, um... This is a little something I wrote during college a while back. A friend and I were having a sort of competition of 'Who can make the other cry more with a short piece of writing?'. This was the result of my attempt.
It had been years, years since Sam had said 'Yes' to Lucifer.
Years since his grace had diminished, since Cas had lost it all. Lost Dean. Lost himself.
He was human, broken - but beneath the drugs and orgies, without the high, Cas was still Castiel. He was Dean's guardian angel, watching over him constantly. When his grace flickered out, when emotions overcame him, he found it even more painful to watch Dean fall apart. Eventually, he found it unbearable - that's how his habits had started, trying to drown it out.
But he couldn't leave Dean.
If not for Dean, what would Cas' purpose be? He was human in a doomed world. At the very least, he would die beside the one he loved.
Cas held no hopes or illusions to the truth, though. He knew the man he fell in love with was long gone.
So when Dean had pulled him close, kissing him and telling him "I need you," the night before their big showdown with Lucifer, Cas knew it was over.
When Dean's hands lingered over Cas' when handing him ammunition, when Cas loaded his shotgun, when Dean refused to look at him as he sent him away to act as a decoy, Cas knew.
When the bullet embedded in his head, Cas knew.
It was over.
