Lost Without You

AN: I don't like the way the rapemance story ended. It ended much too soon in my opinion and there was certain angles of the story line that didn't play out. This story starts at Christmas time 2008. TSJ's character is Todd Manning for this story line. Marty still has amnesia.

It was Christmas time and Todd woke up in her bed alone. She was gone now and he knew that he had to get over her, but he didn't know how. How was he supposed to get over losing the one person that he had ever given his heart to?

He lifted the night gown that he had bought her to his nose and inhaled the remaining traces of her perfume. She had left the night gown behind when she had left with John. Her room was filled with so many precious memories and he didn't know if he could get on with his life now that she was back to hating him.

Tea had called him incessantly and she wouldn't leave him alone until he agreed to meet her for lunch. He knew that she was just trying to be a good friend, but he wanted to spend the holiday dreaming about happier times with Marty. Instead he had to get out of bed and shower so that he could meet Tea for lunch.

-

She woke up feeling disoriented and confused. Where was Todd? Why wasn't he next to her? How come her room looked so different? Then she remembered...she was no longer living with Todd. She was staying in some fancy mansion with Nora Buchanon.

Everything that she had shared with Todd was a lie and she hated him for it, but her heart longed for him to hold her and never let go. She hated herself for loving him and told herself that she had to find a way to let him go.

"Hey mom, Merry Christmas," Cole stated as she walked out in the living room.

"Merry Christmas," she replied trying to give him a smile that would convince him that she would be alright.

"We're just opening gifts. Do you want to join us?" Nora asked.

"No, I think that I want to go for a drive to clear my head, but thanks for the offer."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No sweetie you should spend today with Starr."

"Are you sure mom? Are you going to get lost trying to find your way home?" Cole asked. She seemed so broken, lost and uncomfortable around him. He wanted to fix her and give her the memories that would make her whole...but every time he tried to share memories with her she would get frustrated.

"I'll be fine baby...if I get lost I'll call you."

"Bye Nora, Bo...Merry Christmas," Marty said as she left letting them get back to their celebration.

She drove around for a while, but she stopped her car when she realized that she instinctively returned to his house...to the only place that felt like home to her. She knew that she should leave and go back to the Buchanons and reconnect with her family and friends, but she couldn't.

She thought about the Christmas that she would have had with him in New Mexico if John hadn't told her the truth. She felt so lost at the moment...a stranger in her own life. He was the only one that didn't pressure her into remembering who she used to be.

She should have pressed on the gas and gotten out of there before he hurt her again, but instead she had gotten out of her car and let herself in with the spare key under the mat.

The house was quiet and there was no sign of him so she went upstairs to her old bedroom in hopes that she would find something there that would help her find herself again.

She opened the door just as he had come out of the shower. He stood before her in nothing but a towel and her heartbeat intensified and breathing quickened. He was so sexy in that towel and God help her, she still wanted him.