Note:

In case you're wondering what on earth possessed me to write this, it was written for my partner as a birthday present. The plot is entirely his idea, but I just couldn't resist making it into a one-shot. He has very kindly agreed to let me share this with the fanfic world. Hope you all enjoy, and if anyone knows of a support group like this, please let me know as I may need help... ^_^


The 'E' Support Group

It was a Thursday afternoon, 15:30pm to be precise. A meeting was about to begin in France and all but a few nations were attending. In the Park Inn Hotel, one of the smaller conference rooms had been lined with four rows of chairs and a small table to the side of the hall, laden with refreshments. A small stage had been prepared at one end, a lectern and microphone ready for the speaker. The venue had been chosen for its close proximity to Charles de Gaulle airport, as many nations needed to be away before the meeting was scheduled to end. France smirked at that thought; the real reason many had to leave early was because they were embarrassed.

France let his mind wander as he made his final checks of the room. He hadn't expected the informal chats he had with Prussia and Spain to become fully fledged meetings. It had all begun one drunken night after France had been kicked out – no left England's house. As usual, he had text his two friends asking where they were and if they fancied getting drunk. A silly question really. France had found himself in a Spanish bar, complaining loudly about England's treatment of him and why the grumpy nation just couldn't accept that they were supposed to be together.

Oddly enough, Prussia had joined in, complaining of England's poor taste in food, his strange sense of fashion and why he should give up on trying to win back America. After several hours of this, France had expected Spain to snap and tell them both to get a grip. Astonishingly, Spain had also added his voice to the complaint, stating that England has always been an over-bearing idiot who loved to treat other nations like dirt, lauding his power over them and looking flashy while doing so. Before they realised what they were doing, France, Prussia and Spain had been talking about England for over four hours.

No one wanted to admit it. No one dared admit it. But underneath all the grumbles, France knew the real reason he had spoken of England for the entire night.

He liked England. And not in a platonic way.

So did the others.

When morning arrived, France found himself with a sore head and two guests. The mood was jovial, if a little tender; no one wanted to dwell on the previous night's discussion. Instead, they started to make a joke of it, trying to deny what they really wanted to express. Days passed and the trio of friends started to made more jokes of the situation they were in – thought obviously not when England was around. Others soon heard the jokes, some nations even started to join in, poking fun at the trio and themselves. Even those nations known to be 'prim and proper' cracked a few jokes. It was about a week later when France realised it.

Other nations liked England. And not in a platonic way.

Another drunken night followed France's discovery and the three friends found themselves in a German bar. All agreed that they needed to do something about their 'problem.' None of them wanted to like England in that way, heck they preferred not to think of the annoying nation at all. However, there was a certain charm that none of them could ignore. France had jokingly suggested a support group, so that he and any others afflicted by this 'curse' could share ideas on how to be rid of the fixation with England. He had laughed it off whilst drinking his wine, only to notice Spain and Prussia not only agreed, but were deadly serious about his suggestion.

Thus France had found himself leading the 'E' Support Group. Somehow, word had spread of this new group and that any nation wanting help could attend. France had thought it a prank at first, until a few nations had arrived at his doorstep one evening. After that, France had made arrangements for a proper meeting. While he had his suspicions, it was obvious that he and others needed help.

Which was the reason for today's first 'E' Support Group meeting.

Members began to file inside, each trying to avoid eye contact. No one wanted to admit aloud that they harboured a secret crush on England, yet simply being in the room shouted their guilt. France had to turn away as he noted just how many nations had attended. It seemed like three quarters of the world had a problem with England that they couldn't shift.

As the last of the members took their seats, France stepped onto the stage. He gave his most soothing smile as his gaze swept across the meeting room. He could cut the tension in the room with a knife; this could be a long afternoon.

"Thank you all for coming to this first 'E' Support Group meeting," France announced, trying his hardest not to laugh at the absurdity of this meeting. He noticed others trying to contain any outbursts. "I'm sure I don't need to explain why we're here."

"No you don't," Denmark called from the back. Norway elbowed him in the side, while Iceland shook his head in embarrassment. However, other nations giggled and the tension in the room lessened slightly, for which France was grateful.

"Before we get down to business, are there any questions anyone wants to ask?" France offered. He arranged some papers on his lectern as the nations averted their gaze. No one wanted to be the first person to speak up.

"We won't have to keep a register will we?" China asked, crossing his arms and scowling. "I don't want this becoming official." At his side, Japan nodded emphatically, as if the question had been his, but he had been too scared to ask.

The room started to recoil in horror. France held up his hands in pacification. "Don't worry; this meeting is not official in the slightest. On paper, this is just a rather large but friendly visit to my home, that is all."

Audible sighs of relief floated through the room. At first, France had considered taking names and taunting those nations who confessed to liking England, but when he had seen the size of the group, he had come to realised just how large a problem this was.

"How do we stop fantasizing about England?" Prussia blurted, sitting with his arms and legs crossed. He looked very annoyed with himself, as if he shouldn't have succumbed to this problem because he was so much better than all the others. Spain kicked his chair from behind and the Netherlands thumped him on the arm, which made Prussia snarl.

"No need to be so crude," Austria commented as his side. France noticed with a wry smile there was a faint blush on his cheeks. Hungary and Switzerland were shaking their heads in annoyance.

"All in good time mon cheri," France answered smoothly. "Any more questions before we begin?"

"What happens if England discovers these meetings?" Italy asked with a trace of panic, starting to shake a little. "There are not many nations who aren't here. What if England finds out where we are and why we're here?" Germany placed a reassuring hand on his back and the small nation seemed to regain his resolve.

France smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry about that. We've got the perfect man for that job..."

0O0

With a shiver, England reached up to press the doorbell. It was snowing and the wind was exceptionally cold against his face, no matter how tightly he wrapped his scarf. Snow whipped against his cheeks and settled on his hair and eyelashes, making it difficult to see. It was the afternoon, but already the snow had been plummeting down for several hours. England had luckily checked the weather forecast before catching his plane that morning. However, despite wearing his thickest coat, thickest socks, warmest boots and woolliest scarf, he could still feel the cold sneaking under his clothes and making his skin break out in goose-bumps. He pressed the doorbell again and with more urgency. He rubbed his arms and hopped from foot to foot as he heard the occupier make their way to the door. England looked forward to feeling his nose again.

The door finally opened and England resisted the urge to rush inside. He was a guest after all, and guests didn't barge in on people, no matter how cold they were. Instead, he smiled and stopped hopping. He ignored the glare from his host, knowing that it was nothing personal. It was how he greeted everyone.

"Thanks for inviting me over Sweden. It's not often we get to see each other," England said, willing Sweden to move out of the way so he could feel some warmth.

Sweden merely grunted as he pushed his glasses up and stood aside, allowing England entrance to his house. England couldn't stop the sigh that escaped his lips as he felt the heating chase away the cold. His face stung a little, and his nose had begun to drip, but that was expected from the sudden change in temperature. He shrugged out of his coat, scarf and boots, unsure of where to put them. Sweden took his coat and scarf, shaking them a little before hanging them inside a cloakroom.

"I brought some Cadbury's Roses for you," England said, offering the plastic bag he was carrying to Sweden. "It's chocolate for you and Fin. If you don't like them then-"

"Thanks," Sweden grumbled, taking the bag. England couldn't detect any hint of like or dislike. "Living room is that way," he added with a point.

As England walked through the corridors, he noted how plain and practical Sweden's house was. There was a lot of pine, both flooring and furniture, coupled with white walls and very little decoration. The sofa and chairs looked very comfortable; plump, grey fabric that looked good to sleep on. The fireplace was alight and England couldn't resist warming his hands.

"Have a seat, I'll make some tea," Sweden mumbled, disappearing into what England presumed was the kitchen.

With a sigh, England settled into one of the chairs while he heard Sweden boil the kettle. Not for the first time, England wondered why Sweden had invited him over. It wasn't that they were enemies, but they were not close friends. Saying that, England couldn't think of anyone he would call a 'close friend.' If his own brothers didn't like him, what chance did he have of friends? As if listening to England's thoughts, Sealand popped his head around the corner and stuck his tongue out. Before England could react, the little nation raced upstairs, shouting to his 'papa' that he would play with his toy boats in his room. England sighed and shook his head. Well... if Sweden had invited him over, he must be doing something right.

"Hope you like it," Sweden mumbled as he appeared at England's side. He held out a very sturdy looking teacup, swirls of steam rising from within. England took it with thanks, looking forward to warming his insides. While he could cope with snow, Nordic winters were much worse than those in his homeland.

England took a sip of his tea. "It's delicious," he breathed, enjoying the taste on his tongue. It truly was brewed to perfection, almost the way England made tea for himself.

"Nn."

England grinned nervously to himself as he and Sweden sat in silence. Now that he was here, he had to make conversation. But what to talk about? The silence seemed to press down on England before he realised what he could chat about. It was the most obvious thing; England was surprised he hadn't asked sooner. He felt a little foolish for not being more polite.

"By the way Sweden... where is Finland? I thought he would be here with you."

"Support group meeting," Sweden stated, taking a sip of his tea.

"Really?" England exclaimed with his teacup raised halfway to his mouth. "I never took Fin to be an alcoholic." He shook his head as he raised his teacup to his lips. He didn't catch Sweden's muttered reply.

"Not that kind of meeting..."