Warrior Cats Comedy show

The Battle

Hello and welcome to my first warrior cats fanfic. For your convenience, bold and italic text is authored notes, italic text is the host speaking, and all other text is characters in the story and/or narrative. I'm new to this so r&r. also, I am going to start my own warrior cats revenge and truth or dare. It will be kind of like the original, but different. Anyway, I would appreciate some reviews with ideas for a name, a dare/truth or two, and ideas for more funny stories. Thank you.

Disclaimer: do I LOOK like four women?

Welcome to the warrior cats comedy show! I'm Ninjastar, your host. On this show, each episode we feature a new funny story with warrior cats characters. Some will be your ideas, some will be ours. Anyway, welcome to the show! Please enjoy it!

"Leafpool, go get me some catmint please." Cinderpelt said. "Yes Cinderpelt." Leafpool murmured. Leafpool walked out and towards the entrance to camp. "Leafpool! Where ya goin sis?" squirrelflight asked. "Lazy-ass Cinderpelt is making me get her some catmint. That bitch can't get off her fat lazy ass long enough to walk across camp even!" Leafpool complained. Sandstorm was walking by. "Damn straight!" squirrelflight agreed. "Shut up! You stupid cats are barely warriors, and you're still my kits! I catch you cussing again, Ill tear your tail off and make you eat it!" sandstorm replied and started walking away. "Mee-me-me, me me, bla blah." Squirrelflight mocked when sandstorm was out of earshot (Or so she thought). Sandstorm turned around, screamed "RUN, BITCH!" at squirrelflight and started chasing her around camp. Brambleclaw came out and said, "What, the actual, fuck? SOME of us are trying to get a nap!" squirrelflight stopped to slap him, and sandstorm caught up and almost beat the shit out of squirrelflight. "U-um, l-leafp-pool, I-I'm going t-to come wi-with you t-t-to g-get some ca-cat-catmint!" squirrelflight stammered. "Whatever." Leafpool said, and they headed out. Soon, they were at the old abandoned twoleg nest. "Damn, that shit smells good!" squirrelflight said. Leafpool gathered some up in her jaws. "Oh fuck it!" she said and ate some of the leaves. "Ohsweetmotherofgodjesusandfu ckingthatsgood!" she said. Squirrelflight said, "Don't leave me out of this goddamned party!" so she ate some and they both headed back to camp with pretty rainbow unicorns in their heads.

"Helooooooooooooooooooooo, Braaaaaambleclawwwwwwww!" Leafpool said. "Um, hi?" he replied. "Helooooooooooooooooooooo, Braaaaaambleclawwwwwwww!" Leafpool repeated. "Ummmmmmmmm, What's wrong with you?" he replied. "Helooooooooooooooooooooo, Braaaaaambleclawwwwwwww!" Leafpool repeated. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!" "Helooooooooooooooooooooo, Braaaaaambleclawwwwwwww!" Leafpool repeated. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brambleclaw screamed and ran off to find some deathberries to get away from the craziness. "What's all the hubbub?" Cinderpelt asked, but was interrupted by squirrelflight saying, "Helooooooooooooooooooooo, cinderpeeeeeeeeeeltbitch." Cinderpelt looked her dead in the eye, with an actual icy stare, and said, " . . . ?" "I called you cinderpeeeeeeeeeeltbitch." Came the reply. "You have exactly two seconds to run away before I kill your ass!" Cinderpelt warned and ran into her den, grabbed a scar-h and came back out. "One…Two…run bitch!" Cinderpelt said. "ATTENTION CINDERPELT, LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPON! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" came Firestars voice distorted over the loud speaker. Cinderpelt looked up to see cats with snipers and m40s surrounding the clearing. Needless to say, she dropped the gun. "GOOD, NOW BACK INTO YOUR DEN, SLOWLY!" Firstar ordered. Cinderpelt did so and once she was inside she said, "HA-HA BITCHES! WHERE DO YOU THINK I GOT THE GUN IN THE FIRST PLACE? THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES! IVE GOT ENOUGH WEAPONS AND AMMO IN HERE TO LAST THROUGH THREE ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSES!" a gun turret appeared at each side of the entrance. "Shit, I'm a mutherfucking genius." Firestar said. Evrycat hit the dirt. "Brackenpelt! Get the fuck over here!" Firestar ordered. "Yes sir?" brackenpelt replied. "Call in windclan! We need air support! Sorreltail, call in riverclan! We need naval support!" Firestar ordered. "What about shadowclan, sir?" asked Brambleclaw. "DAMNIT BRAMBLECLAW! HOW THE HELL IS COVERT OPS GOING TO HELP US!" Firestar said. "Good point, sir." Brambleclaw said. "ohboywhatcanidofirestar?ihateyoubrambleclawyoustolem yfuckbuddy!iwishyouwoulddieanywayfirest arwhatcanidotohelp?" the always hyper ashfur said. "Ashfur, you want to know what you can do? Okay, ill make it easy, three easy steps. Step one, go out there. Step two, get shot, step three-" he was inturupted by his daughters talking at the same time "-pretty rainbow unicorns!" Firestar said, "Scratch that, save my daughters. Then go out there, get shot, and die." "Five munites to air support!" Brackenpelt said."Okayfirestarhereareyourdaugh tersimgoingtogodienow!" hyper ashfur said. "You do that-" BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Chhhh"Cinderpelt is down, repeat, Cinderpelt is down."chhhhh came over the radio. "PRETTY RAINBOW EXPLOSIONS!" sqirellflight said. Soon after, the two high as hell cats were put in solitary until the drugs wore off. Cinderpelt was revived because she is to important to the story to die.

Thank you for reading, please review and give me ideas for new stories. Uhhhh, I don't know what else to say, like I said, im new at this. Then shut up Nathan. Well hello Ninjastar. I thought you couldn't think of anything else to say? Well, your sort of a conversationalist. Bye everyone! Yeah, and keep an eye out for story two. Bye.