So here is my first Georgia Nicholson fan fiction, it takes place after Dancing in my nuddy pants, just as Robbie has left for Kiwi-a-gogo land. It would be really groovy and marvy if you could take on board my story and review. Anyways, thanks for reading this Xx
Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the laptop this was written on.
Saturday 5th march
10:00 a.m
All on my owney in a lonely world, treading in the valley of the delusional and possibly the car park of loneliness. Double Merde and poo. Life has taken a turn for the worse. The Sex God left to snog marsupials in Kiwi-a-gogo land last week leaving me on the rack of love.
10:05 a.m
Of course, this was his 'once in a life time opportunity to visit the country' as he once told me before he left. Yeah, that's great for him but after all the hard work of Maturiosity and Glaciosity when I finally won the Sex God, he leaves for Whakatane.
10:07 a.m
Hence why my life is full of Crapnosity.
10:10 a.m
All I have for company is Angus. He is pawing my feet under my duvet.
10 seconds later...
Great, now my toe is bleeding, he attacked. Merde.
2 minutes later...
Yesssss! Angus fell out of my bedroom window after jumping at me. Of course he is fine because he is now in Mr and Mrs Next doors Garden scaring the Prat poodles. I need a bloody plaster for the toe still.
10:20 a.m
Would you believe it! There are no plasters in the bathroom, what kind of a Family doesn't have plasters in the house. No hang on; I am sure we have them somewhere. Libby used one to heal one of her dolls. Hmm... Mutti's room? She doesn't like me going in there, but in all honesty this is an emergency. Her room is a tip; Vatti's clothes are spread all over the shop. Of course there room is not a shop you daft loons, I was merely using the famous expression.
5 seconds later...
Aha! Found them, in a drawer I wish I hadn't seen. Seriously what is wrong with parents?
10:30
Phoned Jas or more commonly known these days as radio Jas, considering she tells Tom or 'Hunky' everything, I think the nickname is perfectly fitting.
"Jas, it's me" I heard movement in the background; god knows what her and Hunky are doing.
"Oh hi Georgia, I have some wonderful news to tell you, tom and I are going camping next weekend and it would be vair groovy if the whole gang could go..."
"Errmm... Jas encase you didn't notice, I am on the rack of love and rambling through bushes is not what I intend to do next weekend, besides Sven is the DJ at late and live next week so I promised Rosie I would go"
"Oh blimey'o'riley trousers, I forgot about that" Jas started huffing in the background, probably flicking her fringe.
"Jas, are you still there... Jas... JAS!" I heard a thud on the other side of the phone, then giggling. Sacre bleu!
"Yes sorry Georgia, I am here"
"Well stop messing around with Hunky and listen"
"I wasn't messing around"
"Yeah sure and Pope Joan is my aunt" That would be weird.
"What do you want Georgia, I have no time for this!"
"Jas you're my bestest Pally Wally in the..." Jas hung up. How ruddy duddy? Ahh well, she will be demoted to 2nd best pally now for her actions. Rosie will take her place.
11:02 a.m
Phoned Rosie to let her know.
"Viking Rosie here, who be calling?" Rosie tried her best Viking impression, but it was not a patch on Sven's.
"Roz, it's me Georgia"
"Ahh, Georgia it be, what can I do for you?" Still carrying on the accent.
"I am just ringing to let you know that you are now the bestest pally"
"Ahh, I see, and what did previous bestest pally do to you this time?" I heard a singing in the background to jingle bells... in March. I worry for Sven.
"She hung up on me"
"Are that be worse than handing everyone midget gems and not you!" Now she had gone into a West Country accent and was speaking from Bristol; I suspect this would fill Sven with Confusiosity.
"Aye, I know, I am going to go now because the pathetic ones have come home"
"Goodbye and good lick" Good lick? What was Rosie on?
Sacre bleu! I cannot get any time to myself in this house; I may have to go out. The doddery old car pulled up outside our house and backfired. I told you my life was full of Crapnosity.
11:10 a.m
Libby has just ran in and flung Angus at me. I now have a scratch on my neck too. Double poo and Merde. Angus ran out the room with Libby chasing after him. What a family, they are such hoots. Not.
11:11 a.m
God I swear this house is mental. Vatti just walked in with Mutti wrapped in his arms, giggling and singing Elvis Presley. At least he isn't wearing his leather trousers that he wears when he goes out with bald coot Uncle Eddie.
11:30
Finally the mad ones have gone to visit Grandad. Peace at last. I think I will still go out though. Hmmm... What to wear, it's quite warm today, so I shall go with Skinny Jeans and a pair of black ballet flats with studded on them. A red vest top and my leather jacket with the arms pushed up. Hmmm... Not too bad.
12:00
Finally deciding what to wear, I shall do make up, natural thought, foundation, concealer, mascara and lippy. Maybe a bit of blush, although if I have to run from Mark big gob and his lardy mates then I don't want to be really red because I have blush on too.
12:02
Speaking of Mark big gob, he is snogging outside my house. How ridiculous is that.
10 second later...
Tosser.
1 minute later...
OhMyGiddyGodPants! He just touched her nunga without permission and she has slapped him. Good one.
10 seconds later...
I had to duck because when I laughed Mark looked up at my bedroom window. Unfortunately Angus gave my game away.
"OW ANGUS! GET THE BLOODY HELL OFF ME!" I screeched. He attacked me for the third time to day and fell out the window for the second time.
I grabbed my purse and shoved it in my pocket and ran outside to get Angus free of the bush he was tangled in. When I had done he ran and scared of Mark big gob, leaving the girl to go home. This was odd because she thanks me for having a crazy cat.
01:00 p.m
I am now at the park on a swing. It really is thought provoking in the fresh air. Saying that, all i can think of is the Sex God, so this place provokes the wrong sorts of thought. Oh crap! Tosser Thompson and his other Tosser friends are coming. (Oo-er) Great what's this about?
"Oi slag!" What? I am slightly filled with Confusiosity; do they not understand I am on the Rack of Love? Of course not there boys.
"What is the problem here?" said a voice behind me, Dave's voice to be specific.
"Leave out of this Dave; we wouldn't want a duffing up incident would we" said one of the cocky gits in front of me.
"No we wouldn't, which is why you guys should leave or you'll be needing a new dentist" Bloody Christ Jesus. Boys are not to be messed around with. Tosser Thompson and his Tosser friends gave up and stalked off. I stood and turned to see not just Dave, but Rollo and Dec as well.
"Thanks for that guys, how come your here?"
The guys smiled and took off their jumpers. Underneath was a football shirt. Sacre Bleu! Boys and football, I will never understand. I went and sat under the tree and watched the first half of the match. When the second half was about to start, the dithering prat herself returned even ditherier than ever. Of course I am only on about one girl. Ellen. She came over and sat under the tree with me. We exchanged lip glosses and she offered me some Chuddy.
"OhMiGod, Dave is over there... and like... yeah... I mean... he's nice... Is...Isn't he?"
For goodness sake. I thought Ellen was about to have a dithering spaz to end all dithering spazzes. But no, she was worse; she was having a Nervy B.
"Like... I know... He Ummm has a lot of girls after him... yeah but... ooh he is nice... O gosh here he comes" Ellen had rambled on for so long it felt like a century later. So it came as no surprise that the game had finished.
Luckily for my health and sanity, Rosie arrived with demoted No2. I refused to look at Radio Jas. She had annoyed me, even when she offered a midget gem to me.
03:00 p.m
Oh Hell she is forgiven, I cannot keep up this pretence. It is so making me vair tired.
3:10 p.m
The lads are walking with us back to RoRo's house. Ellen however had a baby shower for her older sister. Why do people still have those? But anyway, she couldn't come. We were singing we are the champions on the way home. Of course I Jas and Rosie hadn't won anything to be champions, but for some reason, Dave the so called Laugh, and this was no laughing matter, lifted me up like a trophy and kept me there, even with my slight screaming. We got down Rosie's road and he finally put me down. Everyone else went into the house but just as I was about to, Dave grabbed my arm.
"Kittykat, I know you are still hurting over Robbie, but I want you to know, I am always there for you" Great. Dave was having a unlaugh moment. Merde.
"Look Dave, I... I will be fine s-seriously, but th- thank you for your concern" I tried to sound sincere but I think I sounded more like a spaz to be honest. I was giving Ellen a run for her money.
10 seconds later...
Dave is now staring at me
5 seconds later...
Still staring at me, what's his problem?
2 seconds later...
Ok this is getting ridiculous now
1 second later...
...
5 seconds later...
Dave then did something I was totally no expecting, he grabbed my face and went in for a number 5. Uh-oh, I feel I may have been taking of the rack of love and into the cake shop and bought a Dave the laugh Tart by mistake. I'll be the last to know
Thanks for reading, please Review :)
