Tell Me Why
By NikeGrrrrl
Disclaimer: Awww, man!
Guess what?! I'm not George Lucus! But, I do own Star Wars! Yeah, if ya
look over on that shelf over there you can see it! Ha! Anyways, I don't own
"Tell Me Why" By, ugh, the Spice Girls. Hey, whatever, this song is cool even
if they are the ones who sing it! I bet ya money they didn't write it, so
what's it matter!?!
AN~ I don't know how I came up with
this, what can I say? I was bored, my mind ran away with me(Where we went…God
only knows, cause we aren't back yet) and you do the math! So, I hope you like
it! Please, remember to review! This is my first Star Wars fic, so please be
nice to me! I know I'm not very good and all, but, hey! I do have feelings! :-p
lol Ok, it's not that bad! Yada, yada, yada, read&review! If you wanna be
really super-duper nice you can e-mail me: nikegrrrrl@aol.com And tell me what you
think! All comments are welcome, as long as they are constructive and make
sense! :-) Thanks!!!!
~*~
Tell Me Why
~*~
~By NikeGrrrrl~
~*~
We could
have had it all
But you turned your back
"Ani, what's wrong with you?"
Amidala asked sadly as she stared at her husband. These past few months he had been so distant; so cold. When she hugged him it felt like hugging...a
piece of scrap metal, or a droid. He
lacked the passion he used to have. Not
just the passion for her, but the passion for life.
He didn't answer right
away. Anakin stared back her with his
icy stare while she tried as hard as she could to hold the tears back that were
forming at the brim of her eyes. This
wasn't the man she had married. It
seemed like a lifetime ago when they had been in love. She had never expected
it to end like this.
Frowning Anakin chose his words
carefully, and he said them all very distinctly. "There is nothing wrong with me Amidala, maybe there's
something wrong with you."
Amidala ran his words over in her mind silently. She knew there wasn't anything wrong with her;
he was the one who was distant and hateful.
"It takes two people to make a
relationship work Anakin Skywalker!
This is not all my fault!
Don't turn your back on me!" She
screeched back at him as he turned around.
If he walked out she wouldn't bother to stop him, this Naboo Queen knew
when to admit something was over.
Anakin had turned around. He
pondered if he should just leave now. Guessing that Amidala probably wasn't
quite done yelling at him, he decided to stay and see what this could lead to.
It
started with dreams
It started a team
Amidala thought back to the day
she first met Anakin. He had changed so
much from the sweet little slave boy she had met back on Tatooine all those
years before. Anakin Skywalker...she
wondered what he would have said if back then she had told him he was going to
become some sort of evil monster. Who would have thought it? Sweet little
Ani...all he had was a dream, and he came so close to it...if only he had
reached a tad bit further he might have been able to have grasp it.
He only fell a few feet short of
his lifelong dream of being a Jedi. Obi-wan did the best he could under the
circumstances. This would have never happened if Qui-Gon hadn't died. She was
not blaming Obi-wan; he wasn't prepared when all this responsibility was thrown
upon him. He hadn't been ready to train anyone, after all he was still learning
himself.
She had tried her best to help
Anakin achieve his dream, too. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you fail.
This was one of those times. Maybe, it was meant to be that Anakin would
turn.....Fate was defiantly not on their side. Maybe, they were paving the way
for future success, but at what cost to themselves?
But you
weren't as true as you always seemed
How long
had this been going on? She had never seen the warning signs...it hit her like
a ton of bricks. Just all of a sudden Anakin seemed so faraway. When did this
start? All she knew I must have been a long time before anyone could tell. The
days were all jumbled together now; nothing made any sense anymore.
Anakin
had hid it under his skin for quite some time she was guessing. If only they
had noticed earlier. Had they all been in some sort of denial? No one wanted to
lose Anakin to the dark side; maybe that's why they had over-looked all of the
warning signs.
The
outbursts of anger, the long nights when he was gone and no one could find him,
the lame excuses, why hadn't they seen something was wrong? It was all so
obvious to her now, and she knew right away who was behind all of this. It was
too late, if only she had figured it out sooner! That thought alone would eat
away at her for the rest of her days.
He had
betrayed them all for Palpatine. It was still hard to believe her Anakin would do
such a thing...maybe somewhere inside of him there still was the man she
married…
You
promised to love
No matter what
She let
her mind drift back to the day that seemed so long ago when Anakin had
proposed.
*******
"Oh,
Ani!!! It's beautiful!" Amidala yelled happily as she threw her arms around her
fiancé's waist. Anakin gave her his shy, sheepish smile. She had never thought
he would actually propose to her! This was the happiest day of her life.
Amidala loved Anakin so much; she never thought he would in truth return her
feelings.
Anakin
pulled away all of a sudden. "Ami...I can't promise that I'll be around a lot
or anything...you do understand that...don't you?" He asked sadly while looking
down at the woman he had loved for so many years. Being a Jedi was going to
have its ups and downs, it would be a hard life at best.
Amidala
smiled up at him. She loved him so much...she knew it was going to be hard when
he was away, but she had been without him for so long already...it couldn't be
much worse. "Yes, Ani, I know it'll be hard, but, I mean, it couldn't be much
worse than it is now, right?"
"Well, I
don't know...All I can do is promise that I love you......No matter where I am
in this universe, or any other, you'll know I'm thinkin' of you, and that I love
you. Ok?" He finished with a small grin. Amidala smiled up at him as he bent
down and placed a small kiss on her forehead.
Yet you
turned your back and walked out on me
"I know you want to leave
Anakin! Go ahead! Do it! No one is stopping you; nobody is in your way!"
Amidala spit the words out of her mouth heatedly. She felt such hatred towards
Anakin. How could he do this to her? There was no one in this universe that she
hated more at this moment in time.
He turned back around very
slowly and stared at her again. "Well, I think you need to calm down. And don't
worry my dear Amidala, I will be leaving shortly. I just wanted to stay to see
if I could make you any more mad than you already are." He said flatly, ending
with an evil grin.
Amidala started defiantly back
at him. It wasn't possible that he could hurt her anymore than he already had.
He didn't understand that. She sighed deeply and turned half way around to look
out the window; the sun was just beginning to rise. How could the sun rise on
such a day? How could anyone in the universe live a happy life after what was
happening to her today? This was the end of her story...no happily ever after
for this Cinderella.
"Ok, Anakin Skywalker, you wanna
see how mad you can make me? OK, so, here I go! I'll just tell you the
truth! No more lies, ok?!" Amidala barked at him as she turned around to look
at him. He straightened his back and folded his arms in front of him; still
wearing that awful smirk on his face. She resisted the urge to wipe it right off
his face.
"Yes, I would like that very
much, Amidala Skywalker." He said in a dark voice. Frowning back at him
she proceeded to say what she had been holding back all of these years. He
wasn't going to go away forever before hearing her out.
She bit her lip as she thought
of the perfect way put into words all the hurtful things she was thinking.
"Well, first off, for the
record, I would like you to know that it's not my fault you're some motherless
orphan who never had a dad! And how come you have no mom? Oh, that's right! YOU
LET HER DIE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO USELESS YOU CAN'T SAVE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE
UNIVERSE THAT EVER LOVED YOU! You can only take your insecurities out on the
universe for so long Anakin! Oh, and believe me I never loved you! EVER! I just
pretended because you were the closest thing to Obi-wan there was at the time.
You'll never be as good as him, and you know it. Its too bad Anakin. Don't you
think your mom would be proud of you now? Wow, Sith Lord Ani who is just a
scared little boy crying for his mommy. Oh, wait, I forgot, she's dead!"
Amidala screeched at Anakin. The words actually hit him hard. He flinched and
blinked at her as something deep inside him started pulling at his heart.
"I-I don't believe you!" He
snapped back at her. Balling his hands into fists he waited for her to go on.
He pushed his teeth to together angrily, and pulled his lips into a snarl. She
hadn't thought this all along had she? It couldn't be true...she still loved
him, right? Yes, he knew she did, she had to. Why…why did she have to talk
about his mother…his heart would ache forever more because of those few words
"she's dead". He-he couldn't think of that now. No, never again. Nothing matter
anymore. His past was past, and the past doesn't matter to a sith.
Amidala just laughed grimly.
"Oh, you don't?! But you do! You'll never be as good as Obi-wan, no one will
ever love you, and you are just the biggest mistake the universe has ever seen!
I hope you have fun Anakin! You'll die all alone because you never bothered to
treat people right! Yes, that's right, you will die all by yourself! I won't
though! I have many people who love me!"
"I don't care if I die alone
Amidala." He said grimly. Darth Vader wouldn't care, did he? No, of course not.
He would have his master. No one had ever cared about him; he had made the
right decision. No more lies from people who just wanted to use his power for
themselves.
She laughed louder as if someone
had just told her a joke. "Oh, poor little lost Anakin! You will too care! And
you know it!" Amidala said in a mocking tone of voice as she took a step closer
to her husband. "Oh, poor Anakin, he always feels so sorry for himself. Did he
ever bother to feel sorry for his mother? For gods sake the poor woman had to
claim you! Did you ever think about how she died? Oh, I bet it was painful,
huh?" Amidala said trying her best to act like Anakin.
Anakin frowned deeply, and then
slapped her smartly across her face. "Don't you ever talk about my mom like
that!" He yelled at her. She wiped blood off the corner of her mouth, and then
brought her head up to stare back at him.
"Well, Anakin, I might not be a
Jedi, but I can tell you one thing: The rest of your life you are going to pick
on, kill, torture, and harm those smaller than you. You'll kill everyone you
ever loved, and it'll catch up to you one day. I hope you have fun in hell
Ana—Darth Vader!" She said slowly as she made her face reflect his icy glare.
Two could play this game.
He stared back her as if he
didn't care about what she had said. But deep down her words had ripped his
heart into millions of little pieces. Deep inside he knew she was right, about
everything. He would never be more than a tyrant...and he would burn in hell
for all eternity for his deeds.
"Goodbye, Amidala. I know you'll
miss me much more than I will ever miss you." He said darkly as he turned his
back to her. He wanted to cause the universe just as much pain that he felt,
and he would start with Obi-wan Kenobi...
Without another word he
proceeded and walked out the door. The door made a thud that echoed in
Amidala's mind after he had slammed it. She would never forget how hollow
sounding it was. Promising herself that she would let no more tears fall for
Anakin, that she would be strong, the Naboo Queen sadly shook her head. They
could have had everything...but Anakin had to ruin it all.
What made
you think
That without me
Your life would be so much better
"Oh,
young, naive Anakin. What ever made you believe that any of those Jedi cared
about you? And that Obi-wan," Palpatine said shaking his head, "Believe me he
is most defiantly not your friend." Anakin frowned at him; there was no
way he'd believe it. Obi-wan was the closest to a father he would ever have.
"I don't
think there's anything wrong with Obi-wan," Anakin said matter-of-factly.
Palpatine stared at him as if saying, "How dare you question me." Anakin didn't
flinch, he just looked back at the Sith defiantly. This guy sure had a for of
nerve for someone who was about to get their ass kicked.
"Ok, Mr.
Skywalker, I have a preposition for you. Would you like to hear it?" Palpatine
sneered at him menacingly. Anakin didn't like him; he hated him. All he was
trying to do was turn him to the dark side, and then he thought Anakin was too
stupid to even notice!
"No, I
think I will be leaving now. Thank you, and Goodbye." Anakin said sternly as he
turned and walked to the door of Palpatine's office. He didn't wish to spend
any more time with him, and he had to tell Obi-wan he had figured out who the
Sith was of course. This would be the end of Palpatine's reign of terror.
Palpatine
clicked a button that locked the door. Anakin spun around quickly when he heard
an evil laugh escape Palpatine's old cracked lips.
"Oh,
Anakin, I think you will like my proposition. Won't you hear me out?" Anakin
glared at him defiantly, but quickly stopped when he saw that he was only
pleasing the Sith by getting angry. He must remember his training and not let
Palpatine his under his skin.
Sighing
deeply and trying to find his center-calm he spoke slowly. "Fine, what is it?"
He asked flatly rolling his eyes. Anakin was getting tired, and he wanted to
get home to Amidala, every second away from her seemed like years...
The Sith
lord's evil cackle filled his ears again. How he hated that laugh, it drove him
insane. Anakin stared out the window that was behind the Chancellor's desk. He
could see cars, taxis, and ships all over. Which reminded him that he had a
mission to go on today...
"I know
you don't think turning will be a good idea...but I think this will change your
mind…"
But now
you see
That without me
Your hopes and dreams
Will never be as good as what you had with me
Anakin
frowned as he stared out the window by the bridge. He didn't miss his former
life, not one bit. It wasn't like he loved this one though. All he was was a
lapdog for some crazy old man. He missed Obi-wan's sense of humor, Ami's smile,
Yoda's way of talking, and most of all his dream of being a Jedi. So, he
guessed it, it had only been a year and he was hating this new life.
They were
approaching a planet in the galaxy next the planet Alderaan. The emperor had
found out he had a son...and of course he wanted to either kill the child or
use it for his own wishes. He didn't know what to think about it actually. To
think that Ami--after that night--no, he couldn't think about that now, he'd go
crazy if he did.
Darth
Vader...he hated that name. Anakin fit him much better. But, he had chosen this
fate all by himself and he would live with the consequences. It was tiring
always hiding his true feelings from the emperor. He took much of his energy.
To think he would have to live like this for rest of his life...he welcomed
death.
Palpatine
had shattered all his dreams. Someday he would get him back, but for the time
being he had hide his feelings. Maybe, if he was lucky he could turn back! Oh,
but that would be hoping for too much. He wanted more than anything to be able
to see her again, if only in the next life...
Suddenly
he felt something, quickly shielding his feelings he frowned and walked down to
where the commander was.
So tell
me why oh why
Did we end up this way
"Oh, Obi-wan! YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND!" Amidala shrieked as loudly as she could manage. She thought her
life could get no worse when Anakin had left her for…for that-that other life.
Well, like that old saying "No matter how bad things are, they can always get
worse". She knew that was true now; the older she got the more she understood
old sayings. It wouldn't mean much to an outsider, but it meant a great deal to
her.
Obi-wan stood in front of the
hysterical woman that Amidala had become. She was defiantly a wreak, but why
shouldn't she be? He had just killed what was left of her husband, and nothing
else had ever really mattered much to her except Anakin.
Amidala sat down with a bump on
the fountain she was standing nearest. She stared blankly at her surroundings;
the thick tree's that were just now blossoming, the beautiful flowers that the
light of the moon hit just right and shone, the thick grass that she an Anakin
used to sit—no, no she wouldn't-she couldn't think of him now, no, nor ever.
She pried her eyes puffy-red eyes off the scenery and jerked her up to
Obi-wan's equally sorrowful face.
"Ami—I-I...I'm sorry, I know
this is hard, and I mean, we can face it together…" Obi-wan's voice trailed
off, there were no more words he could say to explain what had happened. His
words would be in vain; Amidala hadn't been listening to him anyway. He sighed
deeply. "Do you mind if I sit down?" He questioned as he gestured at the space
beside Amidala on the stone fountains ledge.
She nodded meekly and cast her
eyes down to the ground and stared at the thick, green grass that was between
her bare toes.
Obi-wan sat beside her and
placed his elbows on his knees and sighed deeply for the millionth time that
day. He closed his eyes and sought deep within himself to find an answer to
what had happened, but his efforts were again in vain, for there was no
possible answer.
Amidala pulled her head up
straight and rubbed her bare arms as a chill wind blew by. She looked over
herself with a quick glance; she was in one of her plain white silk nightgowns.
She noticed finally how chilly it was outside, and it should be. The weather
was much like her heart; cold. In her condition she should have more on though.
Oh, what did it matter to her now?
Obi-wan frowned and sat up
straight. "Ami, something else is on your mind…" Obi-wan said after a short
while of looking at the dark, cloudless night sky.
"I'd thank you if you didn't
read my thoughts." Amidala barker back fiercly. She didn't turn her head to see
Obi-wan's expression. She was too tired, too hurt, and in too much pain to
care.
Obi-wan sat silent for a long
moment before he spoke again. This time he chose his words more carefully.
"Ami, please talk to me. You're…you're all I've got now…" Obi-wan said more to
himself than to her. She looked up at him for a brief moment and saw the same
pain she was feeling in all of his features.
"Obi-wan…it's not you…I mean,
An-" Amidala let out a rugged sigh at the thought of him. Her face twisted in
agony as the memory of him came flowing back into her mind. "You see,
I'm…we…oh, Obi-wan! I'm so scared!" Amidala blurted out quickly and searched
Obi-wan's face for something to hold onto and run with. She saw nothing and
stared back at him with at a loss.
Obi-wan scooted a little closer
to her, he could see he thin shoulders shaking from the breeze, and shook off
his robe. "Here, it's freezing." He said as he held out his robe. Amidala
carelessly threw it about her shoulders, not caring that the bottom of the
thick robe was now soaking in water.
"Now, tell me why your scared."
Obi-wan said as he searched her face for some sign of what she was scared of.
Amidala frowned and closed her
eyes. She hadn't told anyone yet…but, she had to tell Obi-wan…he'd help her get
through this she knew he would. He was so strong and…and he always knew what to
do. "Obi-wan…" she took a deep breath. "I-I'm going to have a baby." She said
flatly; too flatly. Her words seemed so hollow, even in her own ears.
Obi-wan sucked in his breath and
stared at her in disbelief. Shock, was the only emotion that could describe
what had hit him. It took a long moment before the words really sunk in.
Pregnant? Amidala? With-with Anakin's child?
Amidala stared at Obi-wan's
face. Was he…was he scared? No, she couldn't bare him being scared. She'd die.
She needed him so much now.
Obi-wan quickly noticed his
expression, and also notice Amidala's. Oh, he had forgotten about her presence
beside him. The pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fit together after all
of these years.
"Oh, Ami, I don't mean it like
that! It-it's so…I mean we have a new hope!" Obi-wan said excitedly. This was
the greatest news he had ever had…maybe…maybe it was supposed to happen like
this. Oh, he had to protect Ami now more than ever. If anything happened to
this child, he would just…just…
"I…I don't want a child to have
to-to live in this awful universe Obi-wan! I mean…it'll never know it's
f-father, and I-I-I wish I was-was…dead!" She said as tears formed on
the brim of her brown eyes. She already ached from crying; she couldn't stand
to go on with this much longer.
Obi-wan opened his mouth to
explain everything to her but she spoke first.
"So, tell me…why, oh why
did we end up this way?!" She said before she burst into passionate, painful
tears.