Hello! Well, this is my first Bleach fic, but I have been watching the series for a while, and have had this on my mind, yet haven't gotten around to actually putting it into a story yet. Anyway, this fic will be all about how the Shinigami deal with things/events from the modern world. My source of inspiration was Rukia and Renji's introduction of coffee and juice boxes. It was just so funny I had to come up with my own, and each chapter I will have a different victim. This chapter is all about Hitsugaya!
Synopsis: Set sometime after the Bounto arc, and before Orihime's capture. Ichigo is at Orihime's home with Matsumoto and Hitsugaya. Yachiru came along as well, just visiting this one night because she "missed Ichi." (Don't ask why, I need her for this plotline)
"So these are . . . candies?" the 10th Squad captain asked hesitantly, inspecting the brightly wrapped package as if it would explode.
"Yes! They are very good. I felt like having some this afternoon and bought a bunch. I remember hearing that in Soul Society you don't have many varieties of candy, so I thought you'd like to try some!" Orihime said. "We even have some western kinds too."
Ichigo smirked as he unwrapped a toffee flavored candy. He could tell that Toshirou was as interested in trying the new candies as Matsumoto and Yachiru, who were currently gobbling numerous candies that Orihime suggested excitedly. The two of them were commenting on how each kind tasted. However, the way the 11th squad fukutaichou was wolfing down the candy almost made Ichigo's stomach turn. She really liked her sweets. Yet, being a captain and all, he was restraining himself as much as he could, slowly biting into various sweets and giving some a satisfied nod before continuing to eat them.
Suddenly, Ichigo got a very devilish idea. His only regret was that Renji or Rukia weren't here to share the moment with him.
"Oi! Toshirou—"
"Hitsugaya-taichou!"
"Whatever. Try this, it's my favorite western candy," he said, tossing the shinigami a small pouch. He caught it and regarded it suspiciously.
"What is it?"
"They're called Pop Rocks. They just are tiny little pieces of candy that look like rocks. They're really good," he added, hoping to convince the hesitant boy.
After staring at it for a second more, he shrugged and ripped the top of the pouch off before examining the inside of the bag. When he noticed that they were indeed just like Ichigo described, he poured a good deal in his mouth. Once he closed his mouth he froze in alarm, then jumped up in the air so fast Ichigo almost lost sight of him.
"THIS CANDY IS EXPLODING IN MY MOUTH!" Hitsugaya shrieked, futilely attempting to wipe them all off of his tongue as if they were dangerous. "THEY TURNED INTO BOMBS!"
Ichigo lost it. He laughed so hard that he fell on his back, having to stop to gasp for air every so often. Orihime looked absolutely alarmed, and Matsumoto's eyes bugled and she burst out of her gigai, appearing at her taichou's side to help anyway she could. Yachiru was the only other one who found the situation as hilarious as Ichigo. She threw back her pink hair and laughed, pointing at Hitsugaya.
"Shiro-chan's dancing! Shiro-chan's dancing!"
A few minutes later Hitsugaya had succeeded in removing the explosive candy from his mouth and leaned against the wall, panting slightly. He appeared too confused and alarmed to be embarrassed at his previous behavior. Matsumoto frowned at Ichigo and Yachiru, clearly not finding what was so funny in endangering her taichou's life. She placed her hand on her zanpakuto and glared at Ichigo.
"What's the meaning of this?" Ichigo immediately ceased laughing and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, realizing that Matsumoto was really angry.
"Um . . . it's just what the candy does. They're really called Pop Rocks because they make a popping sound and feeling in your mouth. It's just what they do, they're not explosives," he said.
"Really?" Now Matsumoto was more curious than she was angry. Grabbing a similar package, she tore it open and tossed a few in her mouth. She squealed with joy. "This candy is amazing! They tickle my tongue!" Naturally, Yachiru wanted to try it as well, and soon the two fukutaichou's were giggling in delight as they gobbled the rest of the Pop Rocks.
Hitsugaya had been examining Matsumoto's experience in curiosity, then upon realizing that the candy was supposed to do that and they weren't bombs, he turned a light shade of pink and sat down awkwardly. In an effort to hide his embarrassment he proceeded to glare at Ichigo, who became nervous under his glare.
"Ju-Just a little joke, Hitsugaya-taichou," Ichigo said. He threw in the proper title just to be on the safe side. Making him any angrier would probably end badly for him, he mused.
Pleased that his title was acknowledged, Hitsugaya excused himself to get some water to rinse out his mouth. While he was gone, Ichigo noticed two items that were untouched and decided to play a trick on Yachiru.
"Yachiru, come here."
"What is it, Ichi?" She beamed and pounced on him.
"You see this? If you put these white candies in your mouth, then drink some of this pop, something special will happen!" The pink-haired shinigami's face lit up in excitement and she let go of Ichigo and held out her hands for the candy and pop in question.
Ichigo placed three Mentos in her hand and then the liter bottle of Diet Coke. She popped the candy in her mouth then poured some Diet Coke in afterward. After a second she immediately opened her mouth to let the highly reactive pop out, and the other three stared in amazement at the impressive sight; a rainbow arched over the stream of sugary liquid.
When it was over Yachiru beamed with pop running down her mouth and out her nose, giggled, then shouted, "Shiro-chan's not white anymore!"
Standing a few feet in front of Yachiru and Ichigo and holding a glass of what used to be water, was Hitsugaya, drenched in coke and completely stunned. Blinking the liquid out of his eyes, he glanced at his shirt, then at Yachiru who was squealing, "Again! Again!" and then at Ichigo who was wrestling the Diet Coke out of her hand. Ichigo froze when he noticed Hitsugaya was glaring at him and gulped, realizing this did not go the way he had planned.
"ICHIGO!"
Matsumoto, Orihime, and Yachiru found themselves de-icing Ichigo for the rest of the night.
Well, what did you think? I hope that you thought it was funny. I think this would make a great Shinigami Golden Picture Book or whatever they call it. I cracked up when I thought of this and I hope I was able to illustrate it effectively for you to see it too.
Each review will help de-ice Ichigo faster!
Who should my next victim be? I can't decide!
