By Kimaro
Chapter
I
Passion...
"It is
really a pity, that you lost control like this, Izumi." Koushiro stared at
the edge of the desk in front of him, hearing the words only through a thick
wall of ignorance. He knew that nothing would happen to him, not to an A-Level
student like he was. This school was proud of their good students, and they
showed it by awarding them as often as possible. It would have been a
medium-sized disgrace if anybody learned that one of these bright kids got into
a fight, and they would cover it up as good as they can.
"I'm
sorry, it would never happen again." Koushiro said the words
automatically, he didn't meant it. He would react exactly the same way again.
"It's
good to hear your apologies, I think we can leave it like that and forget about
this very nasty situation." Koushiro rose his head and looked at the
principal, who seemed to be rather nervous.
"What
is about Takuto?" The principal looked at the boy surprised, then he
leaned forward and replied: "He is going to be suspended for one
week."
"Do
you think, that's fair?" Koushiros eyebrows twitched, showing that he
wasn't satisfied with this conclusion.
"Does
that matter to you, Izumi?" The principal stood up from his comfortable
chair and walked over to the window, looking at the playground.
"It
surely does. I started the fight, and now he is going to pay for it, that
doesn't sound very pedagogical to me. Why don't you suspend me instead of
him?"
*It would be heaven to get out of here for some
time. I don't want to see these people anymore, don't wanna hear their insults
anymore. But they can't leave me alone, they just can't for some reason nobody
knows...*
"It's
enough, Izumi! It is my choice who is going to be suspended, so leave that
matter to me! There is a reason why I'm principal, and not you!"
"Time."
Koushiro gazed at the man with a look, which wouldn't allow response. Normally
the boy was very shy and pliant, but sometimes his cold face just showed up,
and usually it worked, same this time. The principal glanced at him madly, but
he doesn't said a word. He just waved vacantly and Koushiro was released. He
closed the door a little to hard and heard the glass rattle without breaking.
But as he
walked down the hall his rage disappeared and gave way the constantly returning
feeling of sadness. A sadness that covered his heart like a black shadow,
taking all the power off of him. He stopped and leaned against the wall, his
eyes focused on the ceiling. The prospect of returning to those mean and
heartless people who will keep laughing at him, who will try to make his life
as similar to hell as possible, nearly made him cry out loud. But he stopped
showing emotions to them a long time ago. If you've been treaten like Koushiro
Izumi was the last three years, you start to build a shell around you, leaving
their comments and offences outside. But there isn't much space in such a
shell, and sometimes you feel the longing to break free and face the world like
you are, a human being with a lack of protection but a heart full of courage.
But he
wasn't courageous. He'd never been. Not in such things. He fought the biggest
and meanest Digimon and he saved the world. But as strong as he was while
fighting monsters, as weak he was to protect his soul of their insulting words.
Slowly he continued his way to his classroom, expecting to be teased again.
There was
an unnatural silence when he opened the door and stepped in. Twenty-two pair of
eyes pierced him and he wanted to ran away immediately and hide from them.
Instead of it he took a little bow in his teachers direction and walked over to
his seat in the last row, next to the window. Still everybody starred at him,
and not for the first time the boy felt the longing to take Kabuterimon to
school the next day and make him fry every single one of this sheepishly
grinning faces.
"Everything's
alright?" Koushiro glanced at Mimi, who were sitting in front of him and
turned around to make sure he was fine. Her warm smile was soothing his mental
pain a little bit and he nodded. Mimi reached out for his hand and squeezed it
gently.
"We
talk about it after class, ok?"
"Well,
at least to me that is a very good idea, Tachikawa!" Mimi whirled around
as she heard her teachers sharp voice.
"Ok",
Koushiro murmured and started to look out the window again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With heavy
steps Koushiro crossed the nearly empty playground, trying to ignore the voices
around him, concentrating himself on the gate in front of him. He nearly
reached it, he nearly had left the whole terror behind for today!
"Hey,
Izumi? Where do you go to be in such a hurry?" Koushiro would have walked
on and left, if Takuto hadn't stepped in his way to stop him. The 17-year old
looked at the taller boy with scared eyes. He knew that Takuto was really mad at
him, because of him he was going to be in very big troubles at home. But that
wasn't the only reason , Takuto hated him since he found out that...
"Wanna bet,
Kuto? He is on the way
to meet his sweetie-pie!" Koji bawled. He was standing next to his friend
and gazed down at the helpless boy.
"His
sweetie? Hm, wonder who is it, wouldn't you tell us, Izumi-chan?" Koushiro
didn't moved an inch.
"You
don't know it, Kuto? I don't think it's very hard to figure out!" Koji
began to circle the small redhead, enjoying the smell of fear.
"Leave
him out of that", Koushiro gasped. He felt that rage coming up again,
making him clinching his fists.
"Who?
Oh, isn't he dear when he becomes mad? Tell us, little one, who are we talking
about? Don't we talk of that big, strong guy we all adore as our soccer hero?
He surely is a cutie, isn't he..."
"I
SAID LEAVE HIM OUT OF THAT!"
It had
nothing to do with reasonableness that Koushiros fist was buried into Takuto's
stomach. The taller boy stumbled backwards and panted.
"Little
bastard!" Koushiro felt Koji grabbing his hair and then he was flung to
the ground. A heavy knee crashed into his back and his arms were twirled
around. Tears of pain filled his black eyes and he bit his lower lip to keep
himself from screaming till it started bleeding. He heard Takuto coming nearer
and waited for the surely to come kick in his side.
"Fucking
queer..." The awaited kick hit his last rib and a faint, crunching noise
was heard. A small cry left Koushiros lips and he felt Kojis knee pressing
against him even harder.
"Don't
you like it, Izumi-chan? You will get used to it, believe me." Another
kick, this time into his stomach. Another one, and another...
*Is there really nobody around who would help
me?*
Another...
"LEAVE
HIM ALONE, BLOODY BASTARDS!"
He came
like an angel of justice, and he behaved just the same. Koushiro heard Takuto
being hit and going to the ground, then Koji was taken from his back and
smashed just next to his friend.
"You'd
better get away very fast, or something terrible will happen" Taichi
hissed at the two boys, who squirmed like worms, trying to get to their feet.
Koushiro got up slowly, watching his tormentors running for their
'oh-so-beloved' lives.
"Can
you walk by yourself?" Taichis dark-brown eyes searched for Koushiros
while taking his forearm. Koushiro nodded and took a brief look around to find
his Laptop, which he lost when Koji send him to the ground.
"Here
you are." Taichi picked the Pineapple up and handed it to his younger
friend.
"Thank
you", Koushiro whispered. He felt very ashamed, another time his
vulnerability was shown and he figured out what his friend must be thinking of
him right now: a small, skinny boy, not able to defend himself but not bright
enough to stay away from troubles.
"Seems
like it's not your day, getting into a fight with this bully two times within
five hours. You should leave him alone and don't mind what he is saying, no
matter what it is, Iz."
*Should I tell him that I started fighting both
times because of him? Because Takuto was about to make fun on the one I love
like nobody else?*
"You
heard about it?" Koushiro turned away and continued his way to the open
gate, Taichi just next to him.
"Everybody
did. I really wonder what he did to provoke you like this. It's not the
Koushiro Izumi I know who tries to solve problems this way." Koushiro felt
his older friends hand on his shoulder as they passed the gate.
"I
don't know him either. Seems like I can surprise even myself. Bye,
sempai." The younger boy tried to flee from this embarrassing situation,
but Taichi stopped him with a question: "What had happened?"
Koushiro
stopped and felt tears coming up again, but this time they were caused by his
heartache. He can't lie to the one he loved, but he can't be honest either. So
he decided to say nothing and walked on. He hoped that Taichi wouldn't follow
him, and his wish was given.
The
brown-haired guy stayed at the gate until his friend turned the corner, then he
returned to he playground, looking for Sora and Yamato. He found them rather
quick, and Mimi was with them. She seemed to be very excited, and as he stepped
nearer, Taichi heard that she was talking about Koushiro.
"I
don't know what to do, they treat him like dirt and he doesn't even do anything
about it. But today, when Takuto offended Taichi, he just lost his mind. I
haven't seen him like this ever before, he nearly scared me. But what...Oh, hi
Tai.." Embarrassed Mimi interrupted herself and blushed a little bit. The
boy starred at her frowned, recalling her previous words.
"What
have you just said?" He took a step forward and blinked at her
unbelievingly. Koushiro fought with Takuto because of him? But why?
"Depends
on how much you heard", Mimi stuttered. She knew about Koushiros feelings
and she had to promise to keep it to herself. It was bad enough that she told
Sora and Yamato, but now Taichi had heard it too.
"Why
does he fight with those guys because of me?" Taichi looked at Sora, who
was concentrating herself on the ground. Only Yamato didn't refused to return
his glance.
"Come
on, even you can't be that insensitive that you didn't noticed how much you
mean to him." The blonde forced himself not to laugh at Taichis confused
look.
"He is
my best friend, but..."
"Oh
Tai! You don't get it, do you?" Sora nearly became sick of Taichis
ignorance. How many times did she tried to hint him that Koushiro was in love
with him, and how many times did he refused to listen to her. She was quite
sure that he just doesn't want to believe it, but he knew it very well. Nobody
was able to neglect the love that was shining out of Koushiros black eyes
whenever he was together with his friend. But more often this light turned into
a pale gleam of pain and loneliness. Koushiro was a rational character, and he
had come to the conclusion that his love was meant to be unrequited, and he
stayed with that. It was breaking Soras heart that Koushiro was so sad, but it
also teased her that Taichi didn't seem to do anything about it.
"What
are you talking about?" Taichi knew it very well. Never before somebody
had looked at him like Koushiro did, with so much affection. But it can't be
possible, it just can't be! Koushiro was a precious friend, but in another way.
Taichi wouldn't want to lose a friend like him because of a trivial thing like
a little crush he may had on him. But from time to time he got the feeling that
there was more about this.
"No
use, Sora. Tai decided to neglect what is clear as daylight, and if he is in
such a mood there is nothing to do about it, isn't it, pighead?" Yamato
knew that it was a little bit rough, but as usual, he doesn't mind it a bit.
Sometimes he just had to be like this to make his point of view clear.
"No
matter what you mean, it surely is our business, Koushiro and mine, and not yours.
So would you be so kind to leave it to us!?" Taichi nearly yelled the last
words. Who do these people think they are to interfere in things the whole time
that didn't had anything to do with them? Furious Taichi turned on his heel,
leaving his three friends behind and trudging back to the school building.
Soccer
training wasn't the same as usual. Even if he didn't wanted it, he had to think
about Koushiro all the time. Maybe Yamato and Sora are right, maybe he should
do anything about the situation. But what? Until now he thought he could leave
it like it was, but suddenly everything changed. Was he really the reason why
Koushiro had to live hell every single day, was he the reason why he was beaten
and hurt? Taichi always thought his friend was treated so bad by his
schoolmates because he was a swot and defenceless, but for real it was because
of his affection towards him...
"Hey,
Yagami, would you mind to take your head out of the clouds and play a little
bit soccer?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
strolled down the promenade at the seaside, slowly putting one feet in front of
the other, still thinking of what his friends told him today. It still seems to
be hard for him to accept that his best friend should be in love with him, it
felt strange.
Because of
the darkness he realised the person who was standing near the railing only
moments before he bumped into it.
"Looks
like there is someone else who comes here if he wants to be alone."
Koushiro smiled at him, but it looked more sad than everything Taichi had ever
seen before.
"You
want to be alone?"
Koushiro
shook his head hardly noticeable.
"So
you don't mind if I stay?"
He shook
his head again.
"Know
what, Sora and Matt said funny things today..."
"Really?"
"Yes...
No, if I think of it, they weren't funny at all." Taichi stole a glance at
the smaller boy and realised that he was constantly watching him from the side.
He turned towards him and searched for the right words.
"They're
not, I know. I'm sorry about that, I didn't wanted to cause you any
worry." Taichi looked at his friend surprised, he felt that for some
reason Koushiro knew exactly what he was talking about.
"You
didn't caused me anything, just a little bit thinking."
"I'm
sorry about that too..."
"Oh,
stop apologising, that's ridiculous!"
"Many
things I do are." Koushiros voice was so emotionless that it nearly drove
Taichi insane.
"And
what is your conclusion?" The smaller boy started walking into the
direction Taichi was going before and he followed him. As cool as Koushiro may
appeared, secretly he was afraid of what the older one would answer. He felt
his heart nearly bursting within every single beat and his eyes were flickering
nervously.
"Conclusion?"
"You
said you thought of ..." Suddenly Koushiros voice broke and the rest of
the sentence were choked by the tears that flooded his eyes. He didn't wanted
to hear the answer of the question, he just didn't wanted to hear it!
Without any
warning he started running as fast as possible, just to get away from this
heart-tearing answer. But it followed him, he heard its steps only a few meters
behind him. Koushiro knew he couldn't ran away from Taichi, but the fear urged
him.
His lungs
were nearly burning when he realised that he was at his home street, only a few
seconds away from the saving entrance. But then his pursuer grabbed his
upper-arm from behind and forced him to stop. Koushiro stumbled and would have
been fallen, if Taichi hadn't saved him from it.
"From
who are you running, Izzy? From me?"
"Yes..."
The boy aspirated trying to hold back his tears. His face was so near to
Taichis chest that he could smell his sweat, making him dizzy. He rushed
forward and held tight onto his loves thorax, pressing his face against it.
"Why?
Do you think I would do you any harm?" Taichi returned his friends embrace
and stroked his hair.
"You
don't want to, but you will."
"Izzy..."
"No,
it's ok. I just don't want to lose you as a friend. Please, say we can stay
friends, please..."
Taichi
hugged him even tighter and gasped: "Of course we stay friends. You're
much to important to me to give our friendship away."
Passion
Taichi
never thought of the meaning of this word before, though he thought he felt it
already. But in this very moment the whole importance of this single word
changed. He felt Koushiros soft hair beneath his fingers and the heavy breath
against his chest. It was like something alive started moving inside his
stomach, aiming for his heart and then filling his whole body. The longing to
keep the other boy this close forever took control of his mind and he buried
his face in the reddish hair, inhaling its so Izzy-like scent he knew so well.
But suddenly it was different, suddenly this fragrance took over his mind and
pushed every doubt aside.
Unaware of
what he was doing, Taichi took Koushiros head into his hands and searched for
his lips, finding them waiting for him impatient. An unknown feeling of warmth
ran through both of the young bodies, clinching onto each other as close as
possible. Taichi let his schoolbag sliding from his shoulder and it fell to the
ground unnoticed.
Nearly
violently they caressed each other, their hands running over their bodies
passionately. Taichi suddenly dragged the other boy into the house entrance,
pressing him against the wall without stopping their kiss. Though he was
overwhelmed by his craving for Koushiro, he still realised that he had never
seen him so vehement before.
"Tai..."
Taichi
sealed the younger boys lips again by caressing his lower lip and then again
sliding his tongue into his mouth, feeling the kiss returned demanding.
"Tai,
please..."
Koushiro
pushed him apart a little bit, just as far to force him parting the kiss, then
leaning his forehead against his collarbone. Taichi starred down at the other
guys delicate shoulder, his face pressed against the messed up hair, continuing
to stroke the soft neck-skin.
"Maybe
it's better I leave", he aspirated and tried to get away from the smaller
boy.
"No",
Koushiro gasped. He clutched Taichis shirt and pulled him closer.
"You're
thinking, if I go now I would never return, don't you?" Taichi only felt
him nodding, and continued: "I promise you I will come back. Ok? But I
think we both have something to think over tonight." Again Koushiro nodded
and let go of the brown-haired guy.
Taichi
stepped out of the entrance and picked up his bag. Then he turned around to see
Koushiro leaned against the wall still, starring at him with a hard to
interpret look. The older boy felt the demanding longing to took this seductive
body right were it was, no matter if somebody would come along. He startled
about his own thought, he never felt something like this before. He forced
himself to turn away from this tempting person and walked on without looking
back.
Koushiro
remained in his position for a few moments, vacantly touching his lips with
shaking fingers. Was it real or a dream, had that just happened? The fire
inside of him was still burning, making it hard to think straight. He still
felt the thick, dark hair between his fingers and the taste of those sweet
lips.
He started
to climb the stairs, then entered his flat. He didn't even noticed his mother
greeting him until she stood only inches away from him.
"Koushiro,
what's the matter with you? You look like you're somewhere over the clouds. And
take off your shoes!"
The boy did
as she said, just smiling at her friendly.
"I
haven't seen you like this for weeks, what happened?" Mrs. Izumi blinked
at her son, torn between joy and confusion about his mood.
"Heaven",
the redhead murmured, kissing her cheek quickly and then walking into his room.
He let himself fell down on his bed, the arms crossed behind his head. His eyes
were closed and his recalled the demanding expression on Taichis face. He had
never felt like this before, it seemed that everything was alright for the very
fist time, though he thought it was going to be one of the worst days in his
life after his fights with Takuto and Koji.
He must
have been in deep thoughts, because suddenly he was startled by a faint
knocking.
"Here's
a visitor for you, Koushiro!" Surprised the boy got up from his bed,
walked to the door and unlocked it. He wasn't surprised to see his mothers
face, but Taichis just next to it was unexpected.
"Thank
you, Mrs. Izumi", Taichi thanked her politely and bowed at her. She nodded
and left the two of them alone.
"What
are you doing here, I thought we wanted to think about ...'it' tonight?"
Koushiro asked while closing the door behind the taller boy.
"I
have been away only two streets or so, and then I decided that I'm not able to
think tonight. At least not alone."
With those
words he grabbed Koushiros shoulders and kissed him again, just as passionately
as only minutes before. The younger boy nearly fell to the ground, but Taichis
arms clinched him and again he saved him from falling.
"You're
sure?" Koushiro gasped between two kisses.
"Of
course."
There was
nothing left to hold the two of them back. Demanding they started to become one
heavy breathing being, only parting their lips to take short breaths, which
were necessary. Slowly Koushiro pulled the other boy towards the bed, and
Taichi pressed him against the white sheet without any reluctance. He caressed
the other ones neck with his tongue, driven insane by his hot breath. He felt
Koushiro freeing him from his shirt, then he did the same to himself. Taichi
kissed the bare delicate chest, hearing Koushiro moaning with pleasure. It
turned him on even more and he made his way down until he reached the edge of
his jeans. Without thinking he began to unbutton them, but Koushiro interrupted
him.
"I
don't know if I'm ready for this." Taichi crawled up to kiss him again,
then taking a glance down at Koushiros pants.
"To me
it looks like you are", he grinned mischievously. Koushiros face became
dark red and he turned his look from his lover ashamed. But Taichi wasn't a
person to be made insecured easily. He forced the other boy to kiss him, and
then making his way down again, this time more slowly than before. Suddenly he
found a big bruise just at Koushiros last rib. He stroked it gently and looked
up at the other boy, who gazed at him shyly.
"They
will pay" Taichi muttered and kissed the bruise fondly and then continued
his journey.
This time
when he reached his belly, Koushiro didn't stopped him, tough he held his
breath for a few moments. Taichi had to pull himself together not to tear the
trousers apart instead of unbutton them with trembling fingers. He didn't knew
why this was so naturally to him, he'd never been together with a boy
before.
"It is
strange to you too, isn't it?" Koushiro looked at his lover, who thought
about that question shortly. Then he decided to sound not too confident to
avoid making his friend insecure again.
"Yes
it does...."
to be continued…
Author's note: See, I made it. I actually wrote
the first chapter. It didn't turned out exactly the way it should. Forget it…
Chapter II: LONELINESS