Author's Note: ah,hi!This is my first time attempting to post something on fanfiction (well,i tried before but it failed),and im sort of new to .i love to write but,in my opinion im not too great at thats why im here:to encourage myself to write and attempt to get sorry if you don't really like my stories,but it's not like i can really please ,my interests?well,i know my name on here is sonamywriter which would be a hetero couple,but honestly,i prefer ,i will be writing about yaoi,yuri (sometimes,rarely), and hetero.i don't know if i can handle taking requests so for the time being,i if i ever change my mind,i'll be sure to let you know.i also have trouble really posting new chapters or stories on a schedule,so whenever i do it'll be at random ,i will shut up now and start im sorry,but for this story,it will be about a fan character of mine so if you hate fan characters,please press the back arrow on your computer screen.


I'm so tired of waiting here,suppressed by all my childish fears

I sat next to your grave stone,clearing it off from any dirt i could was raining and the ground was muddy,making my close wet and messy,but i didn't tears slowly cascading down my face were blending in with the rain,making it hard to tell that i was even crying at many times have i come here to sit and feel bad for myself?I can't remember.I've come here so often i have pretty much lost count.I'm kind of scared right now,you know,with being alone in the world 's been six years since you've passed away,leaving me alone in this world to drown in my self misery.

And if you have to leave,I wish that you would just your prescence still lingers here,and it won't leave me alone

You know,now that i think about it,everytime i come here it feels like you're standing right next to,making jokes and laughing like old times.I remember one time when i was five and fell off my bike.I had started to cry and you ran over to me,kneeling by my side and telling me not to cry because i was a big were like my idol when i was young,so from that day forth i had never once cried over anything that wasn't worth the tears.

These wounds won't seem to heal,this pain is just too 's just too much that time can not erase

Ofcourse...I also have bad memories of when you were drunk and brought home random times i had been young enough to hold a childish crush on you,so..it kind of hurt to see you with hadn't paid much attention,but those women would tell me rude things and threaten me if i didn't go to my room.I was so scared of them that i never told you when ever you sobered up,so you never stopped bringing was even the time that one of those women lied to you and said I was rude to THEM,so you had hit really hurt.I had cried all night actually.I still find myself upset over that but,well,whats done is done i guess..

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears,when you screamed i'd fight away all of your fears

There's also the day your wife had was the cause of you starting to drink, death left you in an upset and devastated state,much like mine,and you would usually find yourself waking up screaming from a nightmare replaying the course of events causing her to would sit there and cry all night,and I would stay up with you even with school the next day just to comfort you.I'd tell you that everything was okay,even if it probably wasn't.I'm sorry for her death but honestly,you're probably with her right now,laughing and catching makes me happy to think of that.

And i held your hand through all of these years,but you still have all of me

Actually,the whole reason i even lived with you was because my parents were kind enough to take me in,even if you didn't exactly have the money to do so.I had spent everyday of my life depending on you for just about everything,and I thank you for keeping up the charade of acting like you didn't mind just to keep me living with you caused you many money problems,so you had to work three jobs,and even then you didn't have alot of money to live off of.

You used to captivate me by your resognating light,now i'm bound by the life you left behind

It actually surprised me how even though life was tough,you always kept the ability to hold a warm and loving smile.I admire you for never reaching a breaking held on no matter what,and that is something i know i could never 're such a strong person,and that's something i like the most about you.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Everything about you always had me smiling and thinking of were always on my mind,no matter were just such and interesting person,and my childish crush had even grown to love.I couldn't admit it then because i honestly didn't know that was what it was,but i now know and accept the feelings i use to and still have.

These wounds wont seem to heal,this pain is just to real,there's just too much that time can not erase

My head is actually starting to about all these things always make my brain work itself to exhaustion.I can't help it though.I love thinking about 's the only thing that really keeps me may sound weird but it's honestly true.

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears,when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,and i held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me

I hug my knees to my chest as i bury my face in them.I notice the flower i brought you is too damp and muddy to really be considered beautiful it's not beautiful then,to me,it's not worth leaving by your grave.I throw it far and work on re-cleaning your grave.

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,but though you're still with me,i've been alone all along

I know you probably can't hear me,but i love you.I truly and sincerely much so that it hurts i never told you brings pain to my heart.I don't know why but i embrace your grave and kiss it ,that brings a small amount of joy to my heart.I get up now i rake my hand through my now extremely damp hair.I walk to the grave yard gate and open i walk out,i turn around and smile,saying,"until nextime,Zero."

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears,when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,and i held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me