A/N: So should I like, not be allowed to watch the Lord of the Rings now because even that fuels my angst writing? I do it with Grey's Anatomy as well… Most of this is taken from the song 'Into the West' and I would strongly recommend that it's listened to while this is being read.
DISCLAIMER: I do not claim ownership of Glee
Kurt walked into the bedroom that he and Blaine shared. Blaine was propped up on a few pillows and had his head leant against the headboard. Blaine was looking tired today; his hair had thinned and the space under his eyes was a greyish purple. Kurt gave him a small smile.
"You tired, B?" Kurt asked sweetly. Blaine looked at him and nodded.
"Lay down then, honey," Kurt told him, and then set about removing a few of the pillows so that Blaine could lie down with ease.
"You stayed awake until night time." Kurt swallowed. Today was the date the doctor had given Blaine as a maximum time to live to. Blaine nodded sluggishly.
"Are you ready, Blaine?" Kurt's voice trembled as he took Blaine's hand in his. Blaine grunted in affirmation and then released a strangled sob. Kurt's heart broke; it was all that he could do to smooth Blaine's hair down and make some feeble attempts to shush him.
"Sleep now, Baby, dream of everyone who was there before you," his voice broke on the 'you', but he took a deep breath to calm himself for Blaine's sake. Blaine swallowed and began to speak.
"How… K-Kurt?" he asked through the lump in his throat and a tired weakness.
"They're waiting for you, Blaine. They're calling for you across a shore that's as white as snow, you'll go through and all around you will be fields of green." Kurt promised Blaine quietly, just as his mother had said many years ago when he needed reassurance that the people in heaven would treat her well.
Blaine sobbed hard and let tears flow freely down his face. Kurt's lips parted into an expression of heartbroken shock.
"Why are you crying, Blaine?" He slid further down under the bedcovers and held Blaine to him, rocking him slightly.
Blaine was verging on hysterical, "I'm 26, Kurt. I-I'm scared and… I don't want to die!" Blaine all but shouted the last part of the part of the sentence, beginning to hyperventilate almost as soon as he finished speaking. Kurt rubbed a soft hand up and down Blaine's back and once more tried to shush him.
"You won't be scared soon, Blaine." Kurt whispered softly. Blaine curled into Kurt's strong, warm grip and just smelt the familiar lavender and rose cologne. "That's it, shush now, sweet Beebee. Come on, you're safe here, just sleeping. Okay…" Kurt brushed soft kisses down Blaine's neck and rubbed his stomach. They lay unspeaking for several minutes, only basking in the fact that then, in those few minutes, there was life. And then Kurt was struck by inspiration.
"Blaine, do you want to look out of the window?" Blaine's breath hitched slightly in a mix of laughter, caught sobs and disbelief.
"How am I supposed to get there?" He asked. Kurt brushed tender lips to Blaine's.
"I'll carry you." Kurt smiled as though it was an amusing secret before brushing his arms under Blaine's knees and shoulders and holding him close. They made their way across the bedroom to the window ledge. Blaine looked out across the port with a melancholy smile. It was as though he'd been awakened to the world after years of being unable to hear, speak or see. He breathed a hitching breath.
"What are you looking at, Blaine?" Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand.
"The seagulls just keep calling and it's so light but the moon's already coming out…" He murmured. Kurt smiled.
"It's going to be a clear night, Bee. You can see the ships today; if you're… awake during the night, we can watch them pass the light of the moon like they sometimes do." It was a friendly gesture, but Blaine crumpled again. He clung to Kurt like he was a lifeline and fell to pieces in his arms. Neither of them spoke; Kurt didn't try to shush Blaine and Blaine was too upset to think about anything.
This was it. Blaine was going to die. He couldn't do a thing about that. He couldn't hope a fool's hope like he had when he'd received the diagnosis. He clutched Kurt's shirt in his hands and forced out some more sobs to try and let himself speak. They came out as heart wrenching sounds that could be interpreted as screams. They came out with short breaths that jittered and died at the end and each of these were separated by shorter, quieter sobs.
"It's the end, Kurt." His voice was hoarse in Kurt's ear. Kurt shut his eyes and let his face crumple - a few wet, hot tears streaked his face. He took a deep breath in.
"Don't say that, Blaine. We'll-" he gulped, "We'll meet again."
Blaine nestled his head into Kurt's chest.
"I'm going to take you out on the balcony, o-okay, Blaine?" Kurt's voice heightened to an almost whistling whisper. Blaine nodded. Kurt rocked him as they went to sit out on the balcony. He sat down and settled Blaine in his lap. Blaine looked out over what he'd seen in the window.
"Shut your eyes, Blaine. You're only sleeping, I promise." Blaine did so and Kurt knew that he wasn't going to wake up. At least, not in this world. He finally allowed himself to cry, only letting the ports that lay under the sun of the early August evening and the now silent seagulls hear him sob. He did so for twelve minutes before remaining silent to hear Blaine's breathing flicker and die. His chest heaved, and he whispered, "You can sleep for a few more minutes, Blaine. J-just a couple more minutes."
At some point, Kurt's eyes also closed. He somehow managed to lie in peace with the knowledge that Blaine was feeling the soft air of the sea against his face in the silvery white abyss. He would cross a shore and find himself in a perfect land where he would see perfect green grass spreading for miles to the west.
A/N: I like my sad things very much.
