He had been bored for a few days now. London had been wrapped in a period of peace and quiet, which meant that the criminals were getting lazy, at least to his standards. His inbox only had a few cases, none above a 4, and all of them had been either dismissed or solved without leaving the flat.

"This is annoying, my dear Billy. No interesting cases, no one is murdering anyone, so I feel myself rotting away. I need something!" said Sherlock, addressing the skull that currently occupied the seat belonging to his previous flatmate, Dr. John Watson, who at the time was attending to his wife and 6 month old daughter.

Sherlock headed towards the drawer on his desk, his fingers itching for the contact of the cold metal pistol that sat there, pulling it out carefully, as if dealing with a delicate flower. He held it up, pointing at the already beaten wall. "Maybe our little smiling friend needs some hair, don't you think?". His finger wrapped around the trigger, his feet planted on the floor, awaiting the recoil of the gun, his mind honed to make the shot, when his concentration was interrupted by a little ping coming from his computer.

"Finally!" A new email had arrived at his inbox, which meant a new case. Sherlock proceeded to put the lock on the gun, and then tossed it on the sofa, and sat down at the desk, with the hopes that someone had given him something of interest.

"Deer Mister Holms,

I 4 realsies need ur help!

Liek, I totally cannot find mae totes fave iPhone. It disapaered on me liek puff! And if I don find it soon my daddy is totes gonna keel me, like 4 realsies!

my BFF meghan totally digs you and she is like totatlly like in luv wit U! she even has her room filled with ur face like wahtever,so she told me to ask u to like help me, cuz of yur like sooperpower or whatever you have that can totaaly find like all thingds.

Ansd can like u doit like really really fast, cuz tomorrow Im going shoppin and will need to take selfies and pics, if not ill ve like totes a luser 4 not having my new phone.

C u latr!

Kathrina"

He could almost feel his blood boiling over such atrocity he had just been exposed to, and wished that he hadn't thrown the gun so far from the desk, thinking that it was now the laptop screen's fault for daring to display such an insulting case, so he resorted to slam shut the screen and curl up on the couch.

Instead of being able to delve into his thoughts, his mind was refusing to accept such message to go without some sort of snarky response. He went back to the desk, reopened the laptop and proceeded to type the following response.

"Miss,

I would firstly suggest for you and your parents to invest in either an English tutor to improve your grammar, or at least contemplate the idea of sending you back to kindergarten.

If I understood correctly, your phone is currently missing, but it is not. This is all a ploy from your "BFF" Meghan, who, as you say, has developed sentiments that I shall not even acknowledge, because they are of no use. She has your phone at her house, which she took from you and then proceeded to suggest that you should employ my services in the hopes that she would be able to meet me.

In regards of payment, I have already notified your parents about you contacting me, and have billed them properly. I believe your shopping indulgences will come to an end going from the tone of the response message I received from your father.

Next time, be considerate of my time and not waste it with such trivial matters.

S. Holmes"

Grinning like a madman, Sherlock pressed the send button, and closed the laptop, carefully this time. He was delighted to think of the yelling that the girl would endure, and the shock on the father's face when he saw the billing, which had been quite steep, even when the case could barely be considered a 1 on his scale. Sherlock didn't mind billing him so much, knowing that the father of the girl worked in the Department of Transport, in a rather important position, and was embezzling funds, so it seemed fitting charging so much for the inconvenience.

Sherlock was heading back to the couch, in order to resume with his attempt of going into his mind palace, when the familiar hurried steps of John Watson reached the door of 221B, opened the door and without removing his jacket, walked up to him, mobile at the ready, huge smile, indicative of something exciting. "Sherlock, mate, have I got a case for you!"