She stayed still staring at her hands clenched in fists, ghosts of a not so distant past flashing in her memory.
"No matter what you think, I will always save you."
"You can trust me."
"Good luck, Teresa, love you."
"Be careful."
"Red John is mine."
"It is done, I will miss you."
"I want you to be happy. The most important thing to me is that you do what makes you happy."
"I don't want you to leave."
"I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you."
"The truth is, I love you."
Phrases resounding in her ears, louder and louder, drowning the thumping of her heart. It was always there, under her oblivious nose. He was telling her he loved her the only way he could, the only way it was possible without making her a target.
Memories of his touch now warming her soul. His hand never too far from her, always ready to steal a quick touch.
Without realizing it she was now making her way off the airplane. At first walking and then running towards the TSA office, branding her FBI badge all the way.
"I'm special agent Teresa Lisbon, I need to talk with your prisoner," she said, walking up to un unimpressed agent sitting at a desk with his head buried in the sport section of the Miami Herald.
The man looked up at her, picked up the phone and dialed.
"The lover boy has a visitor, the woman FBI agent wants to see him."
He hung up the receiver and lifted his gaze to her.
"He is through those doors. He is still being interrogated, you're going to have to wait ma'am."
Lisbon picked up her bag and without hesitation walked through the white double doors leading to the holding cell.
She stopped in front of the glass window and saw him. He was sitting with his finger tapping at his lips while the TSA agent was admonishing him and waving his pen in front of his nose, before writing something down on a form.
She watched in silence, not sure if she really wanted to know if what he told her was the truth or just another con. He had left her before, he had broken her heart before, what was different this time?.. Why was her heart beating so fast at the thought of his words? She was only a breath away from fainting.
He was fidgeting with his wedding ring, like he always did when he was nervous and on edge. She was surprised at his composure even after the TSA officer was attacking him, calling him an idiot and threatening him with never being allowed to board a plane again in the US. Not a clever remark or a mean insult to his manly quality, he just sat there in silence.
Lisbon's eyes started to water and she nervously tried to wipe away her tears. The knot in her throat was getting tighter as the realization that she reciprocated his feelings came clear to her. She was never going to be able to stay another day without his conniving smile and adorable lack of restraint. He was like a kid, a kid that needed her and wanted a chance at a normal life. The life that was denied to him by a sociopathic father and consequently by his own lust for money.
She felt the palms of her hands get sweaty and clammy. The time was passing slowly but the thoughts in her head were racing, making everything seem surreal. One clear and constant feeling was coming through, no matter how many times that man with eyes the colour of clear blue water, drove her insane and ruined her career, she loved him, every day more and more.
That night that she spent awake, thinking of him and how the vest he was wearing made him even more sexy. Nights spent being scared at her thoughts that made dreams and a hope for something more. The nights spent in tears, missing him and his blond unruly hair and cursing herself and ultimately him for leaving her.
"Damn-it Jane…" she cursed under her breath. She wanted to go in there and slap him, letting him know that she was not to be used like that again. But the truth was that she wanted him to touch her one more time, caress the skin of her cheek and whisper, "I Love you, Teresa." Her heart was hurting, she didn't trust him completely and that thought was like a blade slowly slicing the inside of her soul.
All of a sudden there was silence at the other side of the glass. She watched as the guard scribbled something and then got up from his chair.
He opened the door and looked at her.
"He got hurt climbing a fence. His ankle is swollen so we provided him with some ice and a bandage, he declined the need for a doctor. You may want to change his mind."
She took a deep breath before asking how much trouble he was in and if she could talk to him.
"As soon as his boss arrives we can release him. Until then, he will be our guest. You can go see him now… No funny business."
Lisbon grabbed her bag and opened the door. She sat down not sure how to handle any of this.
"Hey," that was all it took for her heart to skip a beat.
His voice was hoarse. He had cried and the tears had reddened his eyes. She felt a tightening of her chest as soon as he asked her about DC.
"Did you mean what you said?" The sound of the blood rushing through her veins was echoing in her ears. She tightened her fists, preparing her self for the answer she dreaded.
"Just to be clear…we are talking about pickles, right?"
Her lips turned up into a smile "No… No…the other thing…"
"Oh…that."
"This is no joking matter."
"Yes, I meant what I said, every word of it."
The sound in her ears subsided, a strange calm feeling took over and all of her anxiety disappeared.
She saw a shadow cover his face as soon as he asked her about Pike. She knew she was going to lie to him and herself.
"He'll understand…" It was not true… She was going to hurt him and he would not be okay with it. Jane knew, it was written all over her face that she dreaded the thought of having that conversation with Pike. But he stayed in silence, maybe knowing that it was a private matter between them or maybe because he was becoming more and more captivated with the colour of her eyes.
For the first time Lisbon was able to read Jane's thoughts and she blushed.
"Say it again..."
"Say what again?"
She looked at him, tilted her head and smiled a knowing sweet smile.
He got up from his chair without taking his gaze off of her eyes and slowly caressed her cheek guiding her face towards his leaps. He pulled her into a soft and sensual kiss, while she was only able to thank the Lord for not letting her leave that night. He had given her the proof she needed, the answer she was longing for. But he was not satisfied. He held onto her lips, taking his time, savoring the taste of peach on her mouth. He let go reluctantly, holding his hands on her cheek as much as he could. He sat down with a thump not being able to keep his balance on one foot. She smiled at that and reached for his hand. He answered by entwining his fingers with hers. She lowered her gaze and took a deep breath.
"I love you, Patrick Jane"
With her right hand she caressed his cheek and then she lowered it to his other hand lightly caressing his finger, now bare. She stared at him quizzically, raising her eyebrows.
"It was time..." He said, smiling. "It has been a long time coming, but now is the right time. Now I know I can live again, with you."
A tear ran down Lisbon's cheek that Jane quickly collected, caressing her.
"Sweetheart, it's been too long. I spent too much time alone in my madness. I wrote countless letters to you that I never sent. Telling you all that I always knew, that I loved you from the moment that I laid eyes on you. That all the times that I touched you was to feel normal. I missed you Teresa, on that island, I missed you. I wanted you there with me, selfishly keeping you in my arms and never letting go."
She took his hand and brought it up to her lips, kissing his palm.
"Let's see if we can get out of here… This discussion needs a lot more time and freedom of range if we want to continue."
