disclaimer: They are not mine, but I want them :(

ratings: M in later chapters for sexual situations

summary: John's bout with the retro-virus leaves him with some residual and unusual side effects.

pairings: John/Teyla

A/N:This was written for the sgareversebang challenge and was inspired by the fabulous artwork of the talented tielan. Go visit that site to see this art plus many others PS: I have another one for this challenge coming out on June 17th (and it's way longer!)

scenes from 'Conversion' written by Robert Cooper and Martin Gero, 'The Lost Boys' written by Martin Gero, 'The Hive' written by Carl Binder, 'Epiphany' written by Brad Wright and Joe Flanigan, and 'Coup d'Etat' written by Martin Gero.

thanks: To jeyla4ever who talked me into signing up for the challenge. To sagey who is my forever friend and sounding board (not to mention purple pompom waving cheerleader). To puerta who needs to come join us again. To Tielan for the creative artwork that inspired this story.

feedback: This is a little different than my typical so I'd love to know if you liked this as well. Thanks!

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The story is complete and will be posted over the next few days.

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The Connection

by kariesue

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The click of sticks rang out across the gym as Teyla took in a deep breath, twirled on her heel and ducked low to avoid John's sticks. She was very surprised at how well he was doing today. Usually he could barely keep up but right now she actually had to concentrate deeply to keep one step ahead of him. His timing was impeccable and his strength was fierce.

His speed increased even more and Teyla fought furiously to keep him at bay. She saw his bantos rod approach and lowered her torso to avoid being hit and then stared at him incredulously.

"Not bad, huh?" John asked, his tone cocky and confident.

Teyla shook her head and wondered about her friend. She was sensing something different about him today and she thought it was more than just his increased ability level.

"Yes, yes. You are doing very well."

John moved on the offensive and again Teyla was surprised as often he would wait for her to strike. Of course she very rarely gave him time to get ready for her attack. She had been trying to get him to be more assertive during their training. Perhaps he was finally listening to her advice.

"You have been practicing," Teyla observed when she had a free second from defending herself.

John was feeling good today and his confidence made him feel like he could do anything. So he tossed one stick aside and answered, "Not really."

John went on the offensive again and as he stood in place barely moving and blocking Teyla's blows, he started really looking at Teyla. Her outfit was very seductive. Oh, he'd noticed it before but for some reason right now it really stood out to him. And it started ideas forming in his mind.

He took a few quick steps forward and his thrusts pressed Teyla backwards until she was almost against the wall. John lifted his stick and pushed just enough to hold her captive there and end this round. He stared at her intensely and wondered what it was about her that had him so intrigued right now. It was like he was under a spell and he couldn't break free. But he knew he had the upper hand so why did he feel that way?

He could see Teyla's eyes looking at him nervously but he could feel that she was also intrigued by what had transpired since they had begun sparring today.

"You are showing ... a considerable leap in ability, Colonel Sheppard." Teyla's voice was soft and sweet but John could hear the hesitation in it.

And there was something about the way she called him by his rank that gnawed at him. They had become good friends, hadn't they? And she allowed him to work out in this manner and see her in her alluring sparring outfit. Didn't that mean anything? He wanted to make sure she knew that he thought she was special. He kept his hands on the stick that held her captive and kept his intense gaze upon her puzzled face.

"You can call me John when we're off the clock," he invited and his mouth twisted into a crooked grin hoping she'd accept the invitation.

Teyla arched one beautifully shaped eyebrow and consented. "Very well ... John."

John kept the grin in place and was surprised at how much he liked hearing his name roll from her lips. "There ya' go."

He actually kept his eyes focused on those lips and more ideas started forming. He wasn't sure where they were coming from but he liked them. If he was truthful with himself though, he would admit he'd had ideas about her lips since he'd first met her. His position and professionalism had kept him from doing something about it. But for some strange reason he didn't seem to care about his position or protocol today. It was as if her lips were screaming to him. He needed to stop and listen to what they were saying.

He continued to watch her and it was as if he could read her mind. In the back of his mind he knew what he was doing wasn't right, that he should have released her by now but he really couldn't. She had him spellbound. But she didn't seem upset by it. In fact she was fairly calm. He really liked that about her, how she could be so cool in any situation. He wondered if it was her Wraith DNA that allowed her to do so.

Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "Should we continue, or do you ..."

Yes, I do! The thought screamed in John's head and he knew what she was going to ask, or maybe not what she would have said but what she really meant. And suddenly he felt like he should do what she wanted regardless of any protocol. And he had to admit it was what he wanted too, desperately.

He dropped the stick and pulled her face toward him so his lips could devour those that had been calling to him. Her lips had been taunting him for over a year now and he finally had the balls to do something about it. He felt her hands on his chest and thought for a second that she was pushing him away but then realized that they weren't; they were just touching him and resting there.

He continued his assault and felt her lips respond and her passion flare but he also somehow knew this wasn't exactly what she had wanted and knew maybe it had been too intense. So he released her quickly and saw her hands go from near her shoulders to press against the wall behind her as if she was afraid she might fall.

He could feel his heart racing and his breath coming in and out rapidly. When he looked at her she was doing the same. Her chest was rising and falling in rhythm with her breathing and he knew she wasn't quite sure what to make of what had just occurred. To be honest he kind of wondered himself.

Had that really been him? Had he really just grabbed her and kissed her almost violently? He took a step back and looked around the room like he expected this all to be a dream and he was just waking up. But then he knew it was no dream. In his dreams Teyla's lips had never tasted so amazing.

"I'm not really sure just what happened."

Teyla raised one hand and held it to her throat where the stick had been. "Colonel…"

John thought back to when his mouth had captured hers and he had liked it very much. But he had a feeling that she had liked it too; at least a little bit. Maybe she wasn't ready to admit it yet.

"That was interesting," he interrupted her as she said his name.

He was about to move closer again when the radio blared with Beckett's voice. "Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary!"

He looked at Teyla and could see she was almost relieved that he was being called away. It suddenly occurred to him that she looked a little tense and maybe even wary. He would never want to do anything to make her nervous of him.

John looked at her with concern and asked, "You okay?"

Teyla pasted on her diplomatic smile and through her gasping breaths responded, "Doctor Beckett will be expecting you."

John saw Teyla's smile slip and he hated the idea of leaving her if she wasn't okay with what had happened. He was still trying to figure it out himself. But he figured Beckett wouldn't have him paged if it wasn't important. He'd have to find Teyla later and discuss what he'd done.

"Yeah."

Teyla saw Colonel Sheppard … John … walk out of the gym and she let out a sigh of relief as she sank back against the wall. But was it really relief? She had to admit she was extremely confused by the events that had just transpired.

First, John's endurance and skill had been quite out of the ordinary today and she wondered if there was a reason for it. But she would have to admit it had been exhilarating to have an opponent who could challenge her. And he certainly had.

And the exhilaration hadn't stopped with the sparring. When he had pushed her up against the wall and stared at her so intently, she had almost felt that he desired her. She did not know how but it was like she had sensed his emotions somehow even though she knew that was impossible.

Or perhaps it was her own feelings mirrored back at her. She knew she had experienced desire for the Colonel … John … since they had first met. But it was not the way of her people for the women to initiate courtship and intimacy. But the more she got to know … John … the more she realized that he was far from comfortable with social interactions that required deep feeling or emotion and therefore might never approach her with interest.

She thought back again to right before he kissed her. She had been staring at his handsome face as his eyes held hers so keenly. She had actually looked down to his beautifully shaped lips and thought about what they would feel like if they touched against hers. She had never expected the assault that had occurred though. Now she did think back and analyze what it had been like.

She would have to confess that even though the intensity of it was much more than she wished for, she hadn't disliked it. John's lips had been soft yet bold and demanding and they had tasted like nectar. She had often wondered what his lips would taste like, had been thinking those exact thoughts as she stood gazing at him as he held the rod to her neck. She had never expected him to read her mind and take action. But could that be what he did?

Teyla finally pushed herself away from the wall, stuffed her sticks in her bag and headed for her room. She would attempt to stay away from John for a short while as she knew she had much thinking to do. But at some point she truly hoped that they could talk and maybe even explore more of what John had started a short while ago.

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xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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"This is Weir. We have a security breach! Colonel Sheppard's quarters!"

Teyla heard the words in her ear and her heart began to race. She had been in turmoil since she had found out John had been infected by the retrovirus. It now explained why he had acted as he had during their sparring. He obviously had not been himself. And she hated to admit she was a little disappointed.

Not that she wanted John acting as he had all the time but she had been wishing that perhaps it spoke of his inner feelings for her and that they were more than that of friend and teammate. She would be lying if she said she had not enjoyed his lips touching hers and his hands on her face and back. The touch had sent her nerve endings tingling.

As she raced to the control room she wondered what had happened and how John had escaped. Dr. Weir was supposed to go and tell him that their mission to procure Iratus embryos had failed. That was one more thing that was causing her heart to feel heavy. Especially as Dr. Beckett had said John's condition would continue to deteriorate without them.

She approached the control room and began thinking about when they had gone to the planet with the Iratus bugs. Then she recalled her feelings when she had encountered Elia, the young female Wraith who had infected John. The sense she got with Elia had been slightly different from when she sensed Wraith but as she thought of it she realized that the Iratus bugs had caused her a similar sensation in some ways. And she would now admit to herself it was what she had been sensing when she and John had been sparring. The Iratus DNA inside him had started reacting with her Wraith DNA.

"OK. We've got a lock on him," Dr. McKay announced as he, Colonel Caldwell, Dr. Weir, Ronon and several Marines stood looking at one of the computer screens.

Teyla listened as Colonel Caldwell gave orders and broke people into teams. Teyla stood with her eyes transfixed on the screen watching the red dot move rapidly through the city. She wondered if this theory of hers, that she could feel John's presence as if he were a Wraith, would hold true and help her to find him.

The Marines left and Ronon moved toward her. "You coming?"

Teyla glanced at Dr. Weir for a moment then turned to Ronon. "Yes."

They moved quickly to the designated location and she heard Caldwell's voice over her radio. "Bravo Team, you're on deck. Tango is right below you."

Captain Danube, leading their team looked around and said, "You heard the man. Down the stairs."

Ronon suddenly broke off and headed in a different direction. Teyla glanced at him curiously. "Ronon, where are you going?"

"Let him go," Danube instructed and headed down the stairs.

Teyla followed and knew she was going in the right direction. She had begun to sense something. It was weak but she could tell John was close by. And with that knowledge she knew she had indeed become connected to him as she was to the Wraith. The question was would it help.

They entered a very high ceilinged room with a glass wall on one side and Teyla felt her awareness increase. But she did not see John anywhere.

"Stay sharp. He should be right in there with you."

Teyla heard Caldwell's words but she and the other Marines could not actually see John.

"Anyone have a visual?" Danube asked and Teyla knew he was close. Something inside made her turn her head and suddenly she spied him. He was actually climbing up the wall!

She pointed her P-90 in his direction so the light shone on him. "Above us!"

John moved swiftly up the wall then disappeared from view. Teyla's eyes swung in all directions when she saw John drop into the center of their group. Before any of them could react, John threw his hands out and backhanded the two Marines closest to him. The other two swung their Wraith stunners and fired. The shots struck him but had absolutely no effect. They dropped their stunners and reached for their sidearms but John was too fast. He leaped into the air and landed right on top of them and knocked them out. He then turned and raced for the stairs.

Teyla knew she must stop him but wondered if he would just attack her too. She lifted her weapon and called out, "Colonel!"

To her surprise he stopped and turned around. Then he began to walk down the stairs.

Teyla concentrated all her thoughts to John, begging him, commanding him to stay where he was. She wasn't sure how much he was getting.

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John saw the woman standing at the bottom of the steps with her weapon raised to shoot him. He knew he should take her down like he did these guards. And like the ones who had been guarding his room. Like he had done with the other woman. They all wanted to stop him, hurt him and he knew he couldn't let them. His survival instincts were on full alert.

But there was something about this one that stopped him from just leaping over and knocking her out. He took a few slow steps down the stairs and tried to figure out what it was. And soon he knew.

He could hear her. And he didn't mean the strange words that were coming out of her mouth.

"Please – do not make me do this."

He could hear those words with his ears but he could hear what she was saying with her thoughts. He could tell she didn't really want to hurt him. She wanted to help. And there was something compelling about her as if he should obey her. He wasn't sure why but he felt obligated to do her bidding as if that was what he lived for. It was his whole purpose and he was curious how she could exert so much control over him with just her thoughts.

He took a few more steps down and knew she was the one he was meant to follow … worship … serve. But as he got closer her face seemed different and one shot rang out near his foot. He knew he could stop her immediately if he so chose but it was not possible. Her mind kept sending him messages that he would not hurt her. That he must obey. And he would.

Her weapon began shooting more projectiles near his feet and he knew he could not stay here any longer. But instead of taking her down as he did all the others, he simply turned and ran in the other direction back up the stairs. There was no time to explore this hold she had on him, he must flee and survive.

He could hear her steps following him up the stairs and down the hall but he continued to run. He knew she wouldn't actually harm him but he couldn't take the chance that these others would not find him while he paused to investigate how she could do this to him. But as he ran he felt an electric current course through him and the world faded to black.
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xoxoxoxoxoxo

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"We'll all finally be able to get some sleep," Dr. Weir sighed as they stood in the infirmary listening to the news from Dr. Becket. "Keep me posted."

Beckett nodded and said, "Aye," then watched as both Weir and Caldwell left the room.

Teyla saw him spy the trio and Ronon began to speak for them.

"We might, uh ..."

He paused so Teyla continued, "… stay a while."

Then Rodney inserted, "Well, if that's all right."

Beckett nodded and said, "Of course."

Teyla felt him walk away but her eyes were staring in the direction of the screens that surrounded John's bed. He was very still and she knew he was unconscious. But Dr. Beckett assured them the treatment was beginning to work. But they also knew it would be a long road to recovery.

Teyla took a few steps closer and walked up to the bed staring at the bluish face of her friend. She turned and saw Ronon and Rodney staying where they were, allowing her a bit of time alone. They all knew it wouldn't do John any good to have too much commotion as he tried to heal.

She sat on the edge of the bed and picked up his hand and tried not to cringe at the rough texture of his skin. It was almost reptilian and the roughness was so different from the hands that had cupped her face just a few short days ago. She closed her eyes and concentrated on John and knew he was sleeping peacefully, she could feel it.

And she knew he needed to sleep, to rest his abused body and heal. She wished she could do something for him to help him during this time. It would not be easy. The retrovirus had worked swiftly to change his DNA into this creature she saw before her but Dr. Beckett said it could take up to a few weeks for John to completely return to his former self.

She knew she would make sure to be here for him if he needed her. They all would be but she had felt the connection between herself and John and wondered how long it would last. She hoped to test and see if it was still with him for a bit longer as he recovered. She had, after all, begun to feel it even before he knew he had been infected. But it was more than she could hope for, for it to remain with him. Her wish was to be able to utilize it to help him in his struggles while he healed.

She stroked his roughened skin and could sense that he knew she was here. And she knew he felt safe and comforted by her presence. Yes, she would insure that she came to visit quite often.

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xoxoxoxoxox

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He knew she was here again even before he opened his eyes, he could feel her presence again. And sure enough he felt her touch his hand. It felt good, especially as these hands had been strapped to this bed he was now in. He wasn't sure why they were but it may have had something to do with him attempting to flee earlier.

But it was in his nature to make sure he survived and he couldn't do that if they had him trapped. He heard voices and tried to understand what they were saying.

"Why did he try to escape? I thought this treatment was supposed to bring him back to lucidity."

"And it will, Elizabeth, I assure you. But it's won't happen overnight. I told you that. Right now the Colonel still has a larger portion of Iratus DNA than human. I haven't given him any more of the inhibitor because he's already had too much and any more could kill him. I told you that, too. For now the best thing to do is keep him restrained and lightly sedated and allow the treatment to continue working. It's only been a few days. We need to give it time."

"He is beginning to waken," came her voice from right beside him and he liked that he had known it was her and that she could sense his stirring. "Perhaps you could finish your discussion elsewhere."

He heard them walk away while she remained and he was pleased that she had made them leave. She had been here with him quite often lately and she always was pleasing to be with. The words they all spoke were still very confusing and almost incomprehensible. But her words, the ones she spoke to him with her mind, they kept him at peace. He loved listening to them and knew he would do anything for her. She was like him and they belonged together. But he knew she was better than him. She was the one who had first initiated their connection, the one who had first spoken to him in this way.

And he wasn't sure how he knew, but it was innate in him to follow her lead, it was what he must do. And as soon as he was free of this entrapment, he would make sure she knew how much she was venerated and revered. She had assured him frequently that his imprisonment was only temporary and he believed her. She would not lie to him, he knew that as well.

"How are you feeling today, John?" she spoke verbally and he opened his eyes to let her know he had heard her. But it was her inner words that he responded to. The ones that said he would be fine and that she was here to take care of him and see to his needs.

Many of them spoke these strange words to him as if he could comprehend and return their language back to them but she never expected that of him. She knew. She knew it was not in his nature to speak that way and she allowed him to communicate the way they were able to. But she never let anyone else know that they spoke this way. He knew she was hiding this fact and knew she must do this or she would be in danger of being restrained also.

But he would never allow that. He would never allow them to treat her the way they had treated him. He had wires and tubes attached to his body while his hands and feet were strapped to the bed. She did not deserve that kind of treatment. She was to be honored.

And as soon as he was free from this place, he would do that, honor her. He would show her that he was hers for whatever task she needed of him. He wouldn't let her down. And he knew she could feel that he felt that way and she was happy. Her eyes glowed and her lips turned up when she took this information from his mind.

Teyla continued to hold John's hand and noticed that some of his skin was a bit lighter in color than it had been the last few days and the texture was not quite so rough. That was a good sign. It pleased her. And she sent that pleasure to John and let him know he would be fine. He need not worry and soon he would be free of the straps and be able to roam as he chose.

But she also felt that he still had a very hive like mind in many regards. She could tell that he thought of her as his leader, his queen and she wasn't sure how to get it across to him that she was not.

But then she wondered if she should even attempt that at this point. She had been acknowledging his reverence to her each time she had sat with him so he would relax and be calm with her. And she had allowed him to communicate with her mind instead of using his voice. Dr. Beckett said that hopefully he would be lucid enough to begin talking again soon. But without the inhibitor it could take a bit longer.

She hadn't dared tell anyone that she had been able to communicate with John on this level as she was unsure how long it would last. And she almost felt that if she did, she would be betraying him in some way. He trusted her right now and she did not wish to do anything to abuse that trust. He did not trust anyone else and she was his only real company and comfort. She could not take that away from him.

And she had a suspicion that if she mentioned it, especially to Rodney, that he would want to run all sorts of experiments. And as wonderful a person as Dr. Beckett was, she also thought perhaps he would want to know all about what John was thinking and going through right now. But it was too personal and she knew once John regained his former health, he would not be pleased if she shared it with others.

And she knew he was in turmoil at the moment. Bits and pieces of both parts of him, Iratus and human, kept floating through his mind and his memory and he was having a hard time knowing what was real. But when she sat with him and allowed him to speak to her mind, then his jumbled thoughts settled a bit. She knew she would do whatever was necessary to keep his mind as peaceful as possible. And she knew he was aware and was appreciative of that.

Dr. Beckett entered the room again with a small mug of something steaming and she looked at him curiously.

"I'd like to try and get some broth in him. His weight is down a wee bit. Once he begins eating something, I can hopefully remove some of the fluids he's receiving intravenously."

Teyla could sense John's apprehension at Carson's approach and she knew John would not endeavor to take any food if the doctor attempted it. Carson had been the one to attach most of the tubes and wires and John knew it and didn't trust him. She was the only one he trusted at the moment.

"I will try, Dr. Beckett," Teyla offered and reached out for the mug.

Carson paused for a second then saw John's wary eyes looking at him and sighed. "Give it a go, lass. Anything you can get into him will be great, even a few spoonfuls."

Teyla gave him one of her enchanting smiles and he hesitated only a second then walked away. She put the soup on the tray table and took John's hand again, caressing it to get him as calm as he had been before Carson had entered.

"John," her voice whispered softly to him and he wondered what this was, this John. She spoke the word often and mostly when she was looking right at him. Was it important? Something he should know? He felt a familiar niggle at the back of his mind that he should know what it was but whenever he tried to reach for it, it eluded him.

"You must be hungry," she said out loud while inside she was letting him know that she had sustenance for him and he needed to have this to keep his strength. He would need strength for when he was released and she was assuring him that would be very soon. He needed to be patient.

She lifted the mug and blew on the contents then picked up the spoon and scooped a small amount of the creamy broth inside. She moved it near John's mouth and gave him a big smile. She knew he liked when she smiled. Again she sent him thoughts that this would help him. That he needed this in order to serve her better.

"Will you try some?" her words said while her inner thoughts directed him to open his mouth and allow her to feed him.

And as expected of a good little drone, he did. She slowly slid the spoon inside his mouth and allowed the broth to drip onto his tongue. She could tell he liked it as soon as he tasted it and she asked, "Would you like more?"

His eyes lit up a tiny bit brighter and a half smile curled up the corner of his blue lips. She returned the smile and scooped more broth from the mug into his waiting mouth. She did this quite a few more times until he had drained the mug then she sat back satisfied.

She knew he could feel her accomplishment and he was happy to have served her well. But he also felt more indebted to her for the service she was providing to him. He did not feel worthy to receive such attentions from one such as she.

She quickly quieted his thoughts and praised him for his obedience. She let him know he was highly thought of by her and she would do what was necessary to make him well enough to be free of the restraints.

Teyla did not like to deceive him this way but she knew John would be more receptive at this point to her inner whisperings than her verbal ones and then only if she spoke to him in the way a Queen would speak to her loyal servant. If she attempted to tell him she was not his Queen he would become restless and agitated and it would not help his body to heal.

She sat with him for quite a while longer and when Carson came back to check on him, he was astonished that she had gotten him to eat the whole mug.

"Beautiful, Teyla," he exclaimed. "Did he take it willingly?"

Teyla nodded and replied, "Yes. I merely let him know it was to help him to return to his former strength and he was amenable. I believe he enjoyed it very much."

"Wonderful! Perhaps you could drop by in the morning and see if we can't get some oatmeal into him also."

"I would be happy to do that," Teyla agreed.

Carson nodded and left her sitting with John. He didn't even try and scare away any of the Colonel's team anymore. He knew they wouldn't go, at least not until he was a bit further along in his recovery.

Teyla continued to rub his hand and along his arm and she could feel John's pleasure at this contact. She continued to speak softly to him as her inner voice also spoke to him of healing and recovery. She sent images to his mind of their team and times they spent together and she knew it confused him but every so often she would feel a tiny piece of memory surface. It usually didn't last long and would disappear before John could grasp hold of it but she knew he was at least trying to hold on to them. In time he would be better able to comprehend what they were and hold them for longer periods of time. And she knew that day would be soon.

But too soon it was Ronon's turn to sit with John and she stood up to leave. She felt John's panic and apprehension when she did, as he always felt when she left and guilt surrounded her. But she knew she could not sit here with him round the clock or she would become ill herself.

She bent closer and touched the side of his face, not flinching at all anymore and promised, "I will be back soon, John, you will see."

John heard her words but only understood her inner thoughts assuring him that she would return very soon. He relaxed against the sheets and closed his eyes. He knew she would. She would not lie to him; she was his Queen.

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xoxoxoxoxox

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