Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Twilight.


Alice was still talking to Jasper. How could she lie to him so much? Scratch that, how could he fall for it? Did he even fall for it. I mean, Alice was a good liar but jasper had known her for over fifty years! That's more than most human couples manage to stay together. It was the shortes amount of time I wanted to stay with Edward before he... before he left me.

I had to blink back to stop the tears. I was finally managing to keep myself together and then I had pull that stupid stunt and jump off that cliff! This is all my fault. If I hadn't cut myself on that envelope! An envelope! I couldn't even open one without causing harm. I truly was a danger magnet.

It had to come in the moment that we were happy. Edward said he wouldn't change me but Alice saw it didn't she? It was the only option unless Edward killed me which would never happen. If he was guilty enough to kill himself when thinking that I killed myself what would happen if he killed me? I didn't want to know.

I always knew I wasn't good enough for him. Everyone knew that. Jessica and Lauren and even Ang. Some part of me just wanted to feel that I'm worth something, that somebody as wonderful as him would want to spend forever with me, that I wasn't just the plain, shy girl everyone in Pheonix put me as.

It was unberable. The way I felt when he- they left me. Like all I deserved was to die right then but death would have been the easy option. Instead I became a zombie. Alive on the outside but dead on the inside. I truly was obsessed with vampires, that would explain why I almost jumped into the arms of the guy that almost killed me, twice. I probably would have died a then, if not for Jacob and his friends.

Jake. He brought the smile back to my face and showed me how to live when I thought it was pointless. There was something about him that made everyone love him. He chased all the clouds away and shone his light on even the worst situations.

That wasn't enough though. The nightmares were still there, changing from loosing Edward to loosing Jacob. Coming back almost every night to show me exactly where the hole in my heart was. Jake managed to cover it while he was near but it would never heal, not until I got something I will never get. Not until I get back my family.

I truly hope it's not to late and that we can save him. If we dont't then I don't know if I'll be able to live. Leaving me was one thing but commiting suicide because I jumped off a cliff to hear his voice is another. If I could live with myself after the only reason someone like him died just because of my stupidity I would be a true monster.

I know he won't come back for me but I need him alive. I love him. I have to save him. Maby I'll be able to move on, find someone that could make me happy like Jake does. He'll definitely find someone better and be happy too. I'll try to move on as long as he's alive.

Please let him live.


A/N I decided that this 'oneshot' was shit and I decided to change it. I hope that this version of 'Let Him Live' is much better. I decided to write this story in the first place as there is not enough emotion in the book. I mean Bella must have been going through hell! Anyway: Review guys! It makes me happy :) -D