Title: These Things That I've Done
Rating: PG-13 for violence and swearing
Author's note: Slash if you squint. Not explicitly slash but not really not slash either. Written because Bucky as Winter Soldier fics are lovely, but I adore WWII hurt/comfort stories with all my being.
Summary: When the Howling Commandos are captured by Hydra, everyone expects them to take Steve away to experiment on but the Hydra science division is much more interested in Sergeant James Barnes.
They decided to call them Flash Bombs, and as the Howling Commandos covered their burning eyes they sure wished their side had thought of them before Hydra.
They were introduced to the Flash Bombs on a roadside near Strousburg leading to a Hydra base. The plan had been to ambush a Hydra envoy, steal their uniforms, commandeer the trucks and drive straight into the base before blowing it to hell. It was a good plan. It should have worked but Steve had barely set a foot out of the ditch beside the road before the first blinding flash went off beside him.
It had happened so quickly that there was no doubt Hydra had known they were waiting, meaning they had either been betrayed or Hydra had infiltrated the ranks of the French resistance group helping them.
Neither of those things mattered at the moment though. All that mattered was fighting back, but the first step involved in that was being able to see, which none of them currently could.
Another blast went off further to Steve's right. He heard Dernier swear in French and Gabe in some other language.
"I can't see!" shouted Dum Dum.
Steve was down on one knee, uninjured but as useless as the others while blind in a gunfight. He tried to blink away the effects but all he saw was blinding light.
"Fall back! It's a trap!" Steve yelled, hoping the other Commandos could still see, could still run. Judging by the shouts around him there was no such luck. German voices were suddenly close, surrounding them, yelling at them to get on the ground. He heard fists striking flesh and cuffs closing before the butt of a rifle struck his head. Steve went down but stayed conscious as his arms were pulled back and an impossibly large set of shackles snapped around his wrists. He tugged at them and felt no give at all; these were made to hold a super soldier. Definitely a trap then.
Pulling himself to his knees he blinked his vision clear enough to see the outline of three Hydra soldiers standing over him, heads obscured by full masks with tinted goggles that must have protected them from the flash bombs. They'd have to steal some of those. If they made it out of this alive.
Steve looked around trying to spot his men. Judging by the hat, Dugan was next to him on the right, also kneeling, with Falsworth next and then Morita. Gabe and Dernier were on his other side, all handcuffed.
A Hydra soldier in a slightly different uniform looked them over and shook his head. "There should be one more. Where is ...?"
There was a muffled ping and the soldier fell to the ground, dead.
Bucky.
Steve didn't know a lot of German but he recognized the panicked shouts of "Sniper, get down!" and almost smiled.
Bucky had set up his sniper nest a few hundred yards away to provide cover, clearly far enough that the bombs hadn't blinded him like the rest of them, and now he was taking out the soldiers around the Commandos, trying to give them an opening to escape.
Steve tried to take it. Most of the Hydra soldiers were looking towards the forest, trying to spot where Bucky was hidden away. Steve managed to kick one man hard enough that he might not ever get up, but his hands were still cuffed and the rest of the Commandos were still mostly blind. A hit across the lower back and a punch across the jaw knocked Steve down again. Two more Hydra soldiers went with him though, both taken down by Bucky's rifle.
"Hydra bastards," Bucky muttered from his perch as he cleared a spent round from the chamber. He had only been blinded by the flash bombs for a moment but had recovered in time to see his friends on their knees and handcuffed. Worried Hydra meant to execute them on the spot he had opened fire, trying to create any opening he could. He later realized it probably would have been smarter to stay quiet, follow the group or report back on what had happened, but he'd be damned if he was going to watch his team get carted off and do nothing. He slotted another cartridge, lined up his sights, and fired. Another one down, only ... ugh, a lot more to go.
"Come on Steve, think of something," Bucky grumbled, clearing out as many guys near the super soldier as possible. He could see the Hydra goons all pointing his way now, shooting at the trees after figuring out his general location, but he stayed in his perch and kept firing.
Steve was trying to roll to his feet but the half dozen guns aimed at his face and the German instructions to stay down dictated otherwise. He looked up in time to see Gabe's eyes widen with concern from the end of the line.
"Cap, the tank!" Gabe yelled.
Steve hadn't even noticed the tank coming up behind the Hydra trucks, he'd been too busy being blinded and pistol whipped. But it was impossible to miss now as it came down the road, Hydra soldiers hiding behind it for cover from Bucky's rifle. His stomach dropped when he saw the turret pivot so the main gun was pointing into the forest. It was pointing at Bucky.
"No! Bucky!" Steve couldn't get to his feet, there were too many guns and hands holding him down, but he looked in the sniper's direction and shouted desperately, praying he'd notice. "Bucky! Bucky the tank! Get down! Jump! Get down!"
Up in his nest Bucky saw only what was on the other end of his scope. Another Hydra soldier down. He swung his rifle, looking for his next target and his scope passed over Steve, struggling, yelling and looking right at him. He was too far away to hear. He tried to read his lips.
"Tank?" Bucky looked up and found the tank gun practically staring at him from the road. "Oh shit."
He threw his rifle down first and watched it fall the fifteen feet to the ground. Either way this was going to hurt.
Steve almost got to his feet but a kick to the back of the knee sent him down again and then his heart stopped beating as the tank fired. Half a dozen trees exploded, some insane wide-spread firing system Hydra had invented instantly shredding the trunks into splinters. Steve knew Bucky had been in the second one from the left.
"Bucky!" Steve yelled. Around him the Commandos were shouting as well, swearing and struggling but the Hydra soldiers only pushed them along, rifles at their backs as they forced them into the back of one of the trucks. The seats were made for prisoners, with clasps that hooked onto their handcuffs to keep them from moving. Steve pulled desperately at his but they had been prepared for Captain America; his restraints were triple enforced and didn't give an inch.
"Everyone okay?" Steve whispered as they were chained, receiving a round of nods from his men. They were left alone a moment later as the soldiers left the truck bed to stand at the open doors with their guns at the ready.
"Did anyone see if Buck got clear?" he asked after they were all locked in.
"I don't know, not sure what I saw, I'm still seeing spots," Dum Dum said, the others replying the same.
"Barnes is resourceful, I'm sure he's fine," Falsworth said hopefully.
"I don't know a lot of resources that will stop a tank shell," Morita replied, earning a glare from the rest of his teammates. He shrugged it off. He knew he was the realist in the group.
"Anyone got any give in their cuffs? Or ideas to get out of here?" Steve asked quietly. They all squirmed and pulled to no success. "All right I guess we ..."
Steve trailed off when the Hydra agents outside suddenly started shouting, not in panic but in triumph. He looked to Gabe who translated.
"I think they found Bucky."
Steve swallowed and pulled at his cuffs again, desperate to get free or at least see what was going on.
He got his wish a few moments later when the guards watching them stepped aside to let two men step up into the truck bed, dragging an unconscious Bucky between them.
"Bucky!" Steve shouted hoping for a response but Bucky, covered in dirt and blood, showed no sign of hearing him. He was either dead to the world, or just plain dead. Steve had to assume he was alive though when the Hydra agents bothered to cuff him and chain him down next to Dum Dum.
"He needs a doctor!" Steve shouted at the retreating soldiers and was pretty sure he heard them laugh as they jumped down onto the road, slamming the doors behind them.
"Dum Dum?" Steve asked, looking for a report and hating how far away he was from his best friend.
"Yeah." Dum Dum leaned as close to Bucky as possible, trying to see his face. "He's breathing. I think most of the blood is from the cut on his forehead. No other obvious injuries."
"Let's hope that's the case," Steve sighed. "At least we're all accounted for."
There were a few more shouts outside and then they engine rolled to life and they all felt them start moving.
"What do you think the chances are that they'll drop us back at the base if we ask nicely?" Morita joked.
"I'm more curious how they managed to ambush our ambush?" Falsworth said.
"So am I. And I'm eager to get my hands on a few people and ask them," Steve added.
The truck rumbled over a large bump, rattling them enough for Bucky to moan and blink his eyes open.
"Barnes? You with us?" Dum Dum asked. Bucky glanced at him briefly before squeezing his eyes shut again.
"Oh god what hit me?" he muttered, lowering his head miserably.
"A tank shell, the ground, and probably most of the tree you were in. In that order," Dum Dum said.
"Sounds about right," Bucky said, trying to shift into a more comfortable position only to end up hissing in pain as he pulled at every sore spot he had.
"You all right?" Steve asked from the far end of the truck.
"Never better," he said, tense with pain and doing a shit job at hiding it. "We got a plan?"
"Well, the original plan was to steal one of these trucks and use it to sneak into the base, so technically we're still on the old plan."
Bucky's glare to that response was oddly enough made more effective by the copious amounts of blood streaming down his face.
"No, no new plan yet," Steve added seriously. Bucky nodded and the movement made him nauseous. He leaned his head against the cold steel wall beside him and closed his eyes.
"Wake me when we've got one."
It turned out Bucky got to sleep right until they reached the Hydra base, unfortunately not because a plan was hatched but because the Hydra soldiers were back, pushing them out of the truck and into the facility. The Commandos were led in first, Bucky doing his best not to stumble while the rest of the squad carefully studied the base layout. Steve was brought in separately, surrounded by eight armed men who stayed far enough away to not be attacked or disarmed easily. Steve felt his jaw clench, annoyed at the fact that they weren't underestimating him. They each ended up in their own cramped cell in a shiny underground corridor that ended in one bigger cell made with bars three times thicker than the others. Steve was pushed inside this one. He kicked at one of the bars and felt no give whatsoever.
"I'd be honored at the special treatment if it weren't so inconvenient," Steve grumbled.
"Personally I'm offended we didn't all get super cells," Dugan said.
"I'm offended by the view," Bucky added from the cell across from Dum Dum. "Last thing I see before I die is gonna be that stupid hat of yours?"
It was meant to be a joke to lighten the mood but everybody frowned when Bucky's words slurred at the end. He was the only one sitting down in his cell, jacket sleeve pressed against the gash in his forehead.
"How you feeling?" Steve asked, glad they had all at least been uncuffed.
"Better than the time I got mugged outside the Ragtown, worse than the time Gina Sherman's dad caught me in her room."
"Her dad kicked your ass?" Gabe questioned.
"No of course not, but the guilt you know, it eats away at a man," Bucky replied, forcing a smile to prove he was fine even if he probably had a concussion along with some broken ribs. It wasn't like they could do anything about it anyway.
Steve let it go, acknowledging that Bucky's deflection meant he didn't want the attention.
"Still open to plan suggestions."
Some of them looked at Dernier who had been known to hide knives and lock picks in places they didn't even want to think about, but he shook his head and turned out his pockets.
"Sorry mes amis, they took everything," he said. They all nodded in understanding, having each been searched and cleaned out just as thoroughly.
The sound of footsteps interrupted them and they all looked down the corridor to see a high ranking Hydra officer striding towards them, flanked by three armed guards. The officer made no acknowledgment of the Commandos but smirked triumphantly as he stopped in front of Steve's cell.
"Captain, it's a pleasure."
Steve glared. "It's all yours, I guarantee you."
"I meant to see you punished for your crimes, not to be in your company. I am Commander Streicher, in case you would like to curse my name as you die," the Commander offered.
"See that's the difference between us, I didn't need to introduce myself."
The smile quickly fell off Streicher's lips and his eyes went cold.
"You are proud to be known as the American brute who seeks to hold back the perfect world Hydra dreams of? Who has killed our men? Destroyed our bases, destroying our technology, holding humanity back from its greatness? That is no legacy Captain," Streicher said. He unclipped his holster and pulled out his gun, aiming it steady between Steve's eyes. "Now, being the man who killed Captain America, that is a legacy."
Steve held the man's gaze but didn't move, afraid to even breathe since there was literally no escape with only two feet to either side of him in the small cell. Streicher's eyes were hard; he would not hesitate to pull the trigger but he wanted to see Steve's response, wanted him to squirm before he killed him, maybe even beg. Before Steve could say something that would definitely get him killed though another voice interrupted.
"You pull that trigger it's going to be the biggest mistake of your life pal!" Bucky shouted from a cell away, standing up with his hands wrapped white knuckled around the cell bars.
"And why is that?" Streicher chuckled, gun never wavering. "Because you'll kill me if I do?"
Bucky licked his lips. "No, not me, but Johann Schmidt probably won't be too happy when he finds out you took the pleasure of killing Captain America away from him."
They could all see when Streicher wavered, clearly not having considered that, so Bucky kept pushing.
"I met the guy once, didn't seem like the forgiving type, blew up his own base 'cause a few prisoners got free. But maybe you know him better than me. So go ahead, kill Captain America, but maybe send someone else to tell Red Skull about it. You'll live longer."
Streicher ground his teeth together, unable to concede Bucky was right but also unwilling to admit to his mistake in front of his men. His hand wavered one final time and he pulled the triggered.
"No!" the Commandos shouted almost as one from around the corridor. Steve flinched but opened his eyes a moment later and looked down at himself, feeling nothing, seeing no blood. Looking behind him he saw the bullet had imbedded itself harmlessly into the wall.
"You are alive by my will only Captain. The pleasure I would get from killing you is nothing compared to the rewards Herr Schmidt will rain upon me for your capture."
"Of course," Steve answered, clearly unconvinced by the show but breathed out in relief and met Bucky's eye across the corridor, giving him a quick nod of thanks for saving his life that Bucky returned with a relieved smile.
"Besides, for the sins you have committed against us a quick death is too merciful," Streicher continued. "You must suffer first."
Steve's blood went cold when Streicher brought his gun up again, now aimed at Bucky's head.
"No!"
"Your men's value lies only in what they mean to you, Captain. They will bring me no such rewards and are therefore quite ... disposable." Streicher smiled and strode forward, watching as Bucky tensed and then stood up straight, squaring his shoulders back in resignation of his fate.
"Get away from him!" Steve shouted, pulling at the impossibly thick bars. "Don't touch him."
"And why not Captain? He's your sniper yes? I'm told he killed several of my officers during your capture. Give me one good reason why I would let this man live," Streicher requested, smirking because he knew what Steve knew. Captain America had no answer, no way to save Bucky like he had saved him. Bucky knew it too and tried to meet Steve's eye, tried to tell him it was okay, he didn't blame him. Steve saw the look and roared even louder in protest.
"No!"
Streicher took a final step closer, hoping to see the fear in Bucky's eyes and was disappointed to find firm resignation and perhaps ... relief? But of course Streicher didn't know about the true fear that had gripped Bucky since they had been dragged into this base, had no idea that he preferred death over ever being strapped to a table again, over being lost to days of pain, over forgetting who he is and what he is. Over being torn apart and put back together feeling wrong. He'd take the bullet any day.
The lack of terror angered Streicher though and he cocked back the hammer to try to strike fear into his target. "Any last words for your Captain?"
"Not that you get to hear," Bucky replied, confident that Steve knew how he felt, what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.
"Streicher, if you pull that trigger I swear I'll kill you with my bare hands," Steve threatened but Streicher just laughed again, enjoying seeing how close he could get Captain America to begging.
Meanwhile Bucky felt himself shaking the longer this dragged on and started to whisper the mantra that had gotten him through three impossibly long days strapped to a gurney. "Sergeant James Barnes, Howling Commandos, 51213, Sergeant James Barnes, Howling Commandos, 51213, Sergeant James ..."
When Bucky heard a metallic click and a whoosh of air, his eyes snapped open to see Streicher squinting at him curiously, gun now pointed in the air and away from him.
"Barnes," Streicher repeated the name so quietly it was obviously just for himself to hear. His eyes widened and his cruel smile curled back up when the memory came to him. "Yes, Barnes of course. How surprising, you're worth more to me alive after all."
Without another word, Streicher holstered his gun and turned on his heel back down the corridor, not retreating but almost excited.
"What the hell does that mean?" Bucky exhaled, relieved to still be alive at the same time that he felt a pit forming in his stomach. He took two quick breaths and started shaking the bars of his cell. "Hey! Get back here! What the hell does that mean!?"
"Bucky, stop!" Steve shouted, terrified Streicher would come back and finish the job he threatened. "Let's just be thankful that he's gone."
Bucky slumped back down to the ground and rubbed at his pounding head feeling anything but thankful.
TBC
With lots of Bucky H/C to come!
