from afar.
—-
"Ymir, I've met a really nice man and this is difficult to word out to you, but..."
Ymir crawled up into a ball and clutched her heart, almost clawing at her chest. While everyone else was thinking of ways to confess their love or how they would be confessed to, she could only think of different scenarios in which Krista would break her heart and how she would handle it each time. She has yet to reach a conclusion on a single matter.
"It's okay, Krista." Lying to herself seemed like the only option.
"Ymir?"
Ymir froze and dropped her thoughts when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder then felt another weight on the bed. She turned to see Krista right beside with concern on her eyes. It almost looked like she was going to cry. It was Krista. The girls he was just thinking about. On the same bed. Krista.
Krista moved her hand to tenderly caress Ymir's cold face and felt the dry tears that were there just a few seconds ago. Heat quickly rushed to her cheeks, causing Ymir to flinch and toss Krista's hand away unaware of her own actions.
"Go away Krista. I need sleep, don't I?"
Krista seemed hurt for a second but smiled because she recognized Ymir's harsh personality and it only warmed her. She nodded and resumed to her own bed beside Ymir's.
Both girls stared up at the ceiling. Sleep was no longer welcome. Ymir was used to falling asleep to the sound of Krista's calm breathing and the peaceful look she would always have on her face. But tonight, Krista's breathing was irregular and she was not looking in her direction. Krista shifted awkwardly in her sheets and continued to stare at the ceiling. Whenever she could not sleep (which was usually during the middle of the night when she would wake up to the same nightmare of being alone), she would turn to look at her face and listen to her breathing.
Hours past, and both girls were still staring at the ceiling. Neither had slept at all.
"Wake up BITCHES!" Sasha yelled for the other girl's to wake up and started throwing clothes and pillows at everyone.
Ymir hissed at the sunlight, which was blocked a few seconds later by something soft on Ymir's face. She lifted the pink laced panties off of her face and gritted her teeth. She got up to look at the asshole who decided it would be a good idea to throw their lingerie at her. When she looked around, her eyes were only able to take notice of Krista still in her night gown. She was flushed and looking at the ground. Refusing to look at Ymir, she softly spoke, "Um, Ymir. Th-that's my underwear. Can I have it back? Please?"
After Ymir didn't answer, Krista started awkwardly playing with her night gown. Ymir grabbed her sides and started a bellowing laughter that silenced the entire room.
The insulting laugh angered Krista but a part of her really… liked it? No. that's not true. No, I fucking love it.
She was rolling around laughing in her bed with the underwear still in her hands. It was Krista's underwear and her embarrassed face made it all even more hilarious for Ymir. The girls in the room all turned to Ymir with shocked faces, who returned a glare back at everyone. This send a shudder of fear into everyone in the room and they went back to tossing things at each other, not focusing on Ymir or Krista anymore. Ymir continued laughing and took the opportunity when she was not in Krista's direction anymore to sniff the underwear, which she now knew belonged to the most wonderful girl in the room. She closed her eyes and let out of a soft hum. Krista's blush had extended all the way to her ears by the this point as she struggled to get the other girl's attention. This was Krista's favorite underwear because it was the only cute item of clothing she had along with the boring clothes they were forced to wear as part of the military.
"Y-Ymir? My underwear please?"
Ymir turned around and sat up. She brought the underwear up to the bottom half of her face and Krista saw the edges of her huge grin curling up. Ymir wiggled her eyebrows and asked, "This underwear? If it's your underwear, then why was it on my face?"
Krista boiled with frustration - although she wouldn't admit that she was slightly turned on - and this time she looked at Ymir. She lowered her head and glared, before finally speaking with all the determination she could find inside of herself. Only Ymir could bring out this side of her.
"Ymir! Give it back, now." She attempted to yell at Ymir, but it sounded more like a squeak which sent Ymir back over the edge into her uncontrollable laughter. Ymir bent down and appeared to be trying to hide her face (but really we all know she was secretly sniffing Krista's oh so wonderful scent again). Ymir came back up but this time the underwear wasn't on her face — it was on her head. Ymir closed her eyes and hummed a soft song. "Wow Krista, you didn't tell me your small underwear would fit so perfectly on my head." Ymir chuckled at really own remark, wiping the tears off of her face.
Krista closed her eyes and blew the strands of hair off her face before mumbling an insult to Ymir.
"Maybe if your stupid head wasn't so small…"
"What was that, Krista?"
"S-Stupid!"
Krista squeaked even higher than before and Ymir went back into her laughing fit once again.
"Oh no! The sweet little angel has insulted me!" Ymir laughed even harder at her sly remark and this put Krista over the edge. Her mind was no longer in control of her actions.
"What now, princes—" Before Ymir could even finish what she was going to say, Krista was on top of her back and Ymir was on her stomach. She was punching as hard as she could, but it wasn't very strong at all considering she didn't have any sleep at all the night before. This sudden attack took Ymir by surprise but made everything even more hilarious than before. To make it even more fun for her, she started teasing the girl with fake cries of pain. "Ow fuck! My back ow, ow! Oh Krista, you're hurting me! Kristaaaa! Oh Krista!"
She sounds like she's moaning. Oh god.
Krista paused at her dirty thought as a brilliant idea crossed her mind. She was now starting to enjoy this. Ymir was still softly laughing as Krista slowly came down and whispered into her ear.
"Ymiiiir. May I please have my underwear back, Ymir?"
Both girls were aware that Krista could easily snatch her underwear back at this moment.
Krista was fluttering her eyelashes trying to look as innocent as possible but she was only making herself look guiltier.
The grin on Ymir's face quickly dropped into a look of fear and she swallowed long and hard before uttering the best response she could come up with. "N-no."
This sweet and seemingly fragile girl has her completely weak and vulnerable. This is Krista.
Krista smiled and pretended not to hear and came closer to Ymir's ear and asked another question. "What was that, Ymir?" She said Ymir's name as sweetly as she could. And sweet it was.
Ymir, even weaker than before, instinctively but on her fake bravery and once again gave her best attempt to answer the girl who was on her back, purring in her ear. "N-no. I ref—refuse!" Ymir was clearly stuttering and this made Krista overwhelm with joy.
"Oh really?" Krista brought a hand over to reach for the underwear, but wasn't quick enough to beat Ymir's hands to it. Ymir used slowly lifted herself back up and Krista began sliding off the tall girl's back. Krista refused to give up now. She quickly clung on to the top of Ymir's shirt as she continued sliding down. Soon enough, Ymir's shoulders were bare and Krista blushed at the sight before another devious smile took over her face. She was sliding further, further, and further down but neither girl did anything to stop what they knew would happen if this went on. She was getting closer, closer, and closer to fully exposing the top of the girl. Ymir looked down and noticed that the top of her breasts were already visible and she quickly began to panic. She can barely handle Krista being in the same bed as her, but being exposed on the same bed as Krista was going to drive her nuts.
Ymir assessed the situation and quickly used all the strength she had left in her and lifted the girl up and brought herself down. She was now on her stomach with Krista on her back. Fortunately for Krista, she was able to use her small chest as a cushion to keep the landing from being slightly painful. Ymir turned her face halfway to show Krista the smirk that she just couldn't get rid of. She couldn't help but smile even bigger at the pout Krista was giving her. Krista crossed arms and puffed her cheeks before whining her favorite name, "Ymmiiiiir!"
Ymir was growing accustomed to the sound of this, but she wouldn't admit to herself that she liked it. No, I fucking love it.
Ymir was thanking whatever god existed out there for this. She would have to repay Sasha for throwing the underwear at her like the crazy maniac she was. She hated being in debt to people, but this could not make up for anything she had ever done for Sasha or anyone in that matter.
At the smirk Ymir was still giving her, another dirty thought crossed Krista's mind. I want to hear her say my name like she was earlier.
Ymir smoothly flipped the girl underneath her and groaned in pain when she started pulling down on her hair (and we all know she is secretly turned on by this). Krista was underneath her and pulling down on her hair. Underneath her. Pulling her hair. It was like one of those fantasies Ymir would have whenever she and Krista were training together. Somehow, Krista always ended up on the ground with Ymir on top of her. Of course, there was always difficulty getting up.
Krista started pulling down lower and stronger until she grew tired of it and noticed Ymir was staring into her eyes. She felt as if she was exposing all of her feelings and Ymir was reading all of it. The thought scared the young girl and she closed her eyes. Without even noticing, she had once again lost control of her body and was bringing her face closer to Ymir's. They were only inches - no - centimeters away now.
Ymir closed her eyes as well and felt their noses brush together. The moment they felt this touch, both of their hearts fluttered. Ymir clenched the bedsheets underneath her tightly and Krista - absolutely weak - dropped her hands from Ymir's hair.
"Ymir."
"Krista."
They both said each other's names at the same time and the next second, Ymir threw the underwear off the top of her head. Immediately after, she dropped all her weight on top of the girl and crashed their lips together for a rough kiss that she has been absolutely eager for ever since she meet the girl three or so years ago. The air around them dropped while their minds and chests exploded at the same time. All they could see now was an explosion of colors and all they could hear was the beating of their hearts. Krista winced at the weight on top of her and slightly whimpered, but the lips on hers got rid of any pain and trouble she felt only a moment ago.
All in a matter of seconds, they were both eagerly kissing each other. Tongues and teeth went everywhere as both girls eagerly searched for each other's lips. They quickly found each other as quickly as they lost them. Wet kisses went back and forth. Ymir licked Krista's bottom lip and slipped it inside as eager as ever to find out what she tasted like inside. The fight Krista's pair of underwear had shifted into a fiery kiss that tingled on the tips of their tongues and lips. The brushing of their tongues made both of their toes curl and Krista brought her hands back up to clumsily hold on to Ymir's shirt with her left hand and clung onto her brown hair with the other hand. Ymir whimpered a bit from the pain of how tightly the girl was pulling on her hair. She didn't even know it was possible to pull even more tightly than before, let alone with just one hand.
Once again, Krista was putting up a fight, but Ymir wasn't about to lose to her again. She cupped Krista's face with both her hands and brought her closer to her face to make it easier for Ymir in the battle that she was sure to win. In response, Krista wrapped her legs around Ymir's waist and also began kissing harder. Their tongues were starting to hurt and both were starting to lose their breath when Krista finally bit Ymir's bottom lip and ended the kiss. Ymir was the first to drop and she brought Krista down with her.
Krista won again.
Both girls were panting heavily in sync and didn't say anything for a long while. Krista gasped when she felt Ymir trailing butterfly kisses up her neck, on her jawline, and everywhere on her face — you name it. Her cheeks; her eye lids; her forehead; her nose; her ear — over and over again. She was going nonstop back and forth until she decided to stop and nibble on Krista's neck. Krista threw her head back when she felt teeth grind on her neck and she started clawing Ymir's back with both hands now. Krista arched her back when she felt Ymir's tongue licking the places she had just bit into and let out a soft moan while biting her lip in an attempt to suppress it as much as possible.
Ymir couldn't help but grin at the motions and sounds the angel underneath her was making. She carefully held Krista at her hips and brought her back down. She began laughing softly in Krista's neck, unable to continue. Krista felt Ymir's smirk against her neck and formed a frown on her face. However, her heart softened and instead she smiled. She doesn't remember the last time she smiled so genuinely.
Unable to stop laughing again, Ymir simply chose to nuzzle Krista's neck, leaving kisses every now and then. The smile never left her face, and neither did Krista's. Krista began stroking Ymir's hair and left a kiss on her head.
"Ymir?"
"Krista?"
Before Krista can finished what she had to say, Ymir was already up on her hands and kissing her lips again. She was already used to this wonderful taste she known for such a short time. Where had this been my whole life? This time, they moved their lips in a steady rhythm. Ymir tried to slip her tongue back inside because she just had to beat her at least once, but Krista bit her tongue and she backed away. This time, Ymir was the one pouting. Krista caressed Ymir's cheek and began talking.
"Ymir, I'm really hungry. Let's go get something to eat before I eat you instead." Ymir smiled widely at the dirty remark this angel, no, this fucking goddess just made. She pecked her lips and before Krista could say anything else, Ymir quickly lifted her up off the bed, bridal style.
It was now Krista's turn to remember those fantasies she would have of Ymir carrying her away from training when she was simply too exhausted to go on her own. Sometimes she would pretend to be really hurt just to get her to hold her hand and take her away. It was actually happening now and she was exhausted for another reason.
Making sure to grab Krista's cute little underwear on the way, she carried them both to the same bathroom. Neither of them had slept, but this kiss had definitely rejuvenated their energy.
"I want to see what this actually looks like on you first." Ymir, while holding Krista with one arm and Krista with her arms around her neck for more support, held the underwear up to her face to show it to her (of course she was again secretly inhaling the sweet smell that was Miss Krista Lenz).
"Fine." With this answer, Ymir had finally won.
About half an hour later, they were out of the bathroom, bumping shoulders and sharing laughs on the way to the dining hall. It was mostly empty by now, except for Mikasa who was still busy feeding Sasha at the table they usually shared with the other two girls. Ymir and Krista took this chance to sit alone as far away as possible.
The unfamiliar sound of Ymir's laughter quickly got Mikasa's attention who turned to see Krista feeding the much taller girl. Both girls were smiling and laughing. Sasha whined when she noticed Mikasa had stopped feeding her but turned to see what Mikasa was staring so inattentively at. She appeared to be in shock, while Mikasa showed no surprise at all. They were eager to hear what was being said between the two, but they were just too far to hear.
Krista turned and sat on Ymir's lap who then wrapped her long arms around the smaller girl and rested her chin on top of Krista's head. Both of them were still giggling and bursting with happiness as Krista intertwined their fingers. Once their hands were intertwined, Ymir began rubbing circles around her hand with her thumb as they rested against each other.
Ymir finally spoke. "Krista, when training is over, we need to talk. — seriously."
Krista nodded and at the sound of the word "training" she quickly got off of Ymir's lap and took her hand to leave, rushing to catch up with the others. She had completely forgotten everything and everyone. Mikasa and Sasha quickly followed the girls behind.
Sun was down and everyone was making their way off the field. All throughout training, Ymir and Krista had been sneaking glances and smiles at each other. Although they had always done that shortly after meeting for the first time, they know longer tried to do it secretly and would not stop looking until the other girl returned the look. Whenever they passed by each other, they made sure the brush their shoulders together and sometimes held each other's hands for as long as possible before letting go and moving on. They would then continue to look at each other for as far as they can see each other. Krista was small and swift, so she rarely bumped into any of the trainees who were busy adoring her anyway. Ymir on the other hand collided with the trainees often but nobody dared to push or shove her back, so she was not really afraid — until she bumped into Annie. She quickly apologized and awkwardly walked away listening to Krista burst into laughter right behind her.
The dining halls were alive with conversation and laughter. Krista was laughing at Sasha's unfulfillable hunger while also sharing a word or two with everyone else at the table. Ymir seemed to be the only one who was not enjoying her meal. In fact, it was completely untouched. Her stomach was in knots and she was focused on what she was going to talk to Krista about and how she was going to handle it.
It's finally time. I no longer have to wonder
"Um, excuse me, Ymir."
Ymir looked up to see a drooling Sasha next to her eyeing her plate of food. She simply shrugged and pushed the plate towards the ecstatic girl then got up to make her way to the bunks. Krista, who was alert of Ymir the whole time, walked as fast as she could after her once she grabbed some of the food she had left. She didn't even bother to apologize for the sudden leave.
Krista stood at the doorway and noticed Ymir looking down while pacing back and forth. It didn't take long for her to notice Krista's gaze. She stopped, turned, and looked at her before she continued to look down at the ground.
Krista came up to Ymir and presented the bread in her hands. "Ymir, you haven't eaten."
Ymir looked at Krista then hesitantly took the bread off her hands and basically inhaled the food. Krista could only cover her mouth to keep from laughing. Ymir beamed at her this with her mouth still full of food and shuffled her feet, but the smile on her face was gone again in a few seconds. Krista returned with a worried look of her own and touched Ymir's cheek. Ymir paused, then reached to hold the hand on her cheek before taking it down, hers hand still in hers.
"Krista, sit down."
Their hands were locked tightly together as they moved to sit at the edge of Ymir's bed for a good five minutes without making a sound before Ymir cleared her throat and turned to Krista to finally speak. She opened her mouth but was only able to utter a few inaudible words. Krista got more anxious as she struggled to interpret what she was saying, but came to the decision that Ymir probably wouldn't say what ever was on her mind unless she pushed her to do it. It was usually Ymir pushing Krista to try harder or to be better, but now Ymir needed her support.
Krista squeezed the hand in hers and decided to interrupt Ymir's moment of very awkward murmuring.
"Ymir, does this have to do with what happened this morning?"
Yimir nodded but still said nothing.
"It's okay Ymir. I don't care if you smelled my panties."
Right away, Ymir dropped her face in her free hand out of embarrassment before coming back up for a retort.
"Oh, sure, Krista. I was smelling your panties. What kind of pervert do you think I am?" Ymir tried her best not to laugh at her answer and tried to give her most convincing smile.
"Ymir… You were smelling my panties whether you wanted to or not. I mean, they were right in your face, Ymir! But it's okay. I wouldn't mind smelling y—Anyway, we're getting off topic!"
"I'm sorry, Krista, I didn't hear that last thing you said." Ymir was smiling ear to ear again because she knew exactly what Krista said and couldn't be happier.
"Ymiiirr. This isn't the time for jokes!" Krista was pouting again and turned her head away from Ymir again because she couldn't handle the face Ymir was making without either slapping her or bursting into laughter.
Ymir absolutely adored everything about this girl and didn't even struggle not to pinch Krista's cheeks.
Ymir answered, "Hey, you started it. But of course this isn't the time for jokes, Krista! In fact, I could take 'em off right now if you want. Nobody's coming back for a while."
Krista was blushing but refused the urge to turn around and head-butt Ymir. It took a while for Ymir to notice that Krista was really serious this time and stopped squeezing her cheeks. It was now or never.
Ymir used her free hand to turn Krista's face so that their eyes were now locked. Once they were looking each other, Ymir used her thumb to softly rub the spot she was pinching earlier.
"Yes, it's about this morning, but it has nothing to do with your cute underwear. Well kinda, kinda not. Just what happened because of them."
Krista was just as nervous as Ymir was now. Ymir continued, "Am I a fool, Krista?"
Krista looked at Ymir in confusion and waited for her to continue. Ymir went on, "Would it be crazy of me to think, maybe… I don't know."
Though worried, Krista smiled as best as she could, "Ymir, say whatever you want. I'm not going to leave."
Krista brought down Ymir's hand and intertwined both of their hands. Ymir rolled her eyes at the intimacy, enjoying it nonetheless.
Ymir did her best to speak. "Did you get caught up in the moment? I know I'm hot and all but, man…"
Ymir tried to laugh and attempted to use humor to make this easier on her but it wasn't working. She noticed Krista was still as worried as before.
"Ymir, why do you feel this way? Tell me everything. I don't want any jokes Ymir. I'm tired of seeing you like this. You put on that tough guy face when you're getting emotional. I notice when you cry, Ymir. Sometimes you leave me and the others because you're 'feeling bad.' I feel bad knowing there isn't much I can do in those moments. But now we are finally alone, so please talk to me. Tears aren't a sign of weakness. It isn't at all. What you're doing every night, bottling those feelings is because you're afraid of how me or everyone else is going to react. Putting on that mask every night — that's what's weak. Out there, you're always strong and I admire you. You didn't even sleep last night."
Ymir was surprised to notice that Krista knew she was awake all night.
Was she waiting for me to fall asleep just like I was for her?
All Ymir could say was, "You didn't sleep either."
Krista, unsatisfied with the answer, asked another question.
"Ymir, why didn't you sleep? It's happened before."
"Because you didn't sleep either and I felt like that was my fault. You worry too much."
Krista scrunched her face and waited for the full answer. "And what do I have to do with you not sleeping?"
"Krista."
Krista looked at Ymir waiting for an explanation, but all she got was Ymir repeating her name over and over again. She finally understood what she meant.
Ymir pondered for a moment before finally giving up and deciding to tell her everything. What did she have to lose now?
"From afar, I noticed those conversations that you have with everyone else and they are much more lively without me. Whenever I speak, it's kind of like they're just watching me talk to you and when I'm done and gone, everyone gets back into conversations — including you. I feel so unwelcome. That's the truth — That's why I left. Not because I was feeling bad or because I was feeling sick. The selfish part of me wanted you to miss me and to choose me over all of them. Just me. One person over all those people. It's so selfish of me, but I don't feel guilty or bad. Honestly, not even a little bit. After all, I too want to be happy, but I don't know if our ideas of happiness can bring us together. I only wish and cling to a hope that's almost nonexistent, yet, nonetheless, does not cease to exist. And it exists because I want you so badly. It hurts but it's the kind of hurt I don't mind coming back to because it's tied to you. A part of my enjoys it. Kinda like a weird drug, you know? You know the bad it's gonna bring, but you don't mind because of a pure moment of joy, even just a short moment. And that moment is you. Smiling, laughing, teasing — doesn't matter. Because it's you. Lately, that's all I see. You. Whether I want to, or not. I've probably developed some sort of anxiety disorder just from pursuing you, but whatever."
Krista took a moment to let everything sink in. She knew she would have to say something quick before the other girls came to join them in their bunks. However, Ymir continued to speak again, "Just why did you kiss me? You didn't really need to seduce me to get your underwear back, although next time you probably will."
Ymir couldn't help but add some humor, but Krista knew that she was probably completely serious with this.
"Because, Ymir, I — I need you too. I was fighting for you, not the underwear. It was just an excuse to get on your bed and start punching the truth out of you. I guess it worked."
Ymir grinned while Krista continued to speak again, "But Ymir, I think — I think you deserve better than me. I put on the same mask that you do, but I'm so much worse. You deserve better than me."
Ymir's grip on Krista's hands weakened and she looked at Krista. Krista has never seen her so mad yet so miserable at the same time. Ymir let go and cupped Krista's face before bringing their foreheads together. She started, "Damn, Krista. If you don't think you're special, then I'm gonna have to do better at making you feel special. 'Cause, fuck, you make me feel special so it's only fair that I make you feel the same way I do. I don't know what you mean about me deserving better than you. You don't even know your own value. If you're stuck on the idea that I 'deserve better' then I'm gonna have to disagree and say I deserve whoever can make me feel so special."
Ymir's honest words fired like bullets and Krista took each one too heart. Ymir noticed Krista was holding back tears now and did her best to comfort her, "Ah shit, Krista. Why are you crying? You aren't supposed to cry. Krista…"
Krista cut her off and said, "Ymir you're wrong about not making me feel special. I think there's just been a misunderstanding between us, but now we're way past that."
Ymir smirked while she wiped Krista's tears away unaware of her own tears trailing down her face and afterwards started to nuzzle their noses together. Ymir joked, "All thanks to your real sexy underwear."
"Ymir…" Krista didn't even care anymore.
"Krista…" Ymir stopped the nuzzling and bit Krista's lip before Krista kissed her. She kissed back and Krista returned with a harder kiss. This went on until they were interrupted by Sasha's awkward coughing.
"Ahem…"
The two girls turned around to see all the female trainees - except for Annie and Mikasa - looking at them — some smiling or laughing while others were cringing.
Ymir responded even louder, "AHEM! Do you mind? We're kinda busy here. Fucking hell."
The girls returned to their bunks and whispered goodnights while Ymir and Krista continued to enjoy the moment until they finally got sleepy as well.
Krista finally returned to her bed and smiled. Her candle was still on and before she could turn it off, she was in sudden darkness. She reached for her face and grabbed the pink laced underwear that she was wearing — or thought she was. She turned to see Ymir grinning ear to ear with her head on her hand.
Krista whispered a yell, "Ymir! When did you get this?"
Ymir responded, "When your hands were tangled in my hair. Can I have it back now? I wasn't done with it."
This time Krista imitated Ymir's grin before she answered, "This underwear? The one that was on my face? You're gonna have to come get it."
Ymir quickly got off her bed and jumped into Krista's sheets. The blonde girl flushed and turned away from her. They both chuckled as Ymir wrapped her arms around the smaller girls waist and began kissing her neck and face. They got quiet and Ymir decided to quickly lean up to blow the candle's fire away. She came back down and noticed Krista's eyes were closed. She took the chance to slowly reach for the underwear and resumed to smell it before putting it on her head.
Before falling asleep as well, Ymir whispered, "Love you…"
In the morning, Ymir woke up and the first thing she noticed were Krista's small breasts. Her eyes moved up to Krista's face and she noticed something different. Krista was wearing her underwear.
Ymir moved her hand down and noticed that she was in fact without underwear.
They both smiled and Ymir brought Krista down for a kiss. Krista stopped to say something to Ymir.
"By the way, I love you too."
