Warning: male/male relationship (Yaoi), language, adult themes, death, blood, and w/e comes along

Prologue

"How many times do I have to kill you Sephiroth, for you to finally find your peace?" Cloud whispered softly to the barren wastelands. Nothing stirred in the dead scenery before him only the wind breezed by lightly to tell the blonde fighter that it was there to listen to his sorrow. Blue eyes fallowed the soft wind leaning into its caresses as if it was Clouds only salvation. "As many times as you will need me to come back to you". The blonde smiled softly to himself it was only the wind speaking, only his mind replaying to questions that plague his dreams. Strong arms wrapped around Cloud. He leaned into the familiar embrace – for now he will enjoy his little day dream.

Where did all go wrong for them? Nibleihem? During the meteor fall? Somewhere in between? For the longest time Cloud blamed Sephiroth's insanity, his dead-lover's determination to destroy the world for their fallen relationship. He talked himself into believing that so he could close his eyes at night, so he could live with that monster inside himself that chewed on his sanity. Deep down Cloud knew that that series of terrifying events was not what tore them apart. When he was standing in front of his lover at that time bleeding from Masumane's vicious kiss, he already knew that they had fell apart. All that was left was pain and a deep black hole somewhere inside his soul.

Even when his mind was a jumbled mess he could still feel it – the raw need to blend with the man, to never let the general go. But the planet's calling was strong, so much stronger, it ebbed at any objections Cloud could ever have. So he killed him – once, twice, three times… Each time his soul ripping into tinier pieces, each time his eyes dying a little bit. Why did it turn out this way? Cloud saw in Sephiroth's eyes the longing, the sadness every time they stood in front of one another swords drawn – one of them had to die. It was only natural; it was only what the gods expected them to do. Both of them were heroes in their own right, fighting for what they believed to be the 'good'.

Cloud choked out a cry to the wind. He never wanted it to happen this way. He wanted for it all to go back to the way it used to be – with Zack 'ambushing' him, the unbearable treatment from his instructors, the teasing, feeling of gratification when he bested everyone and Sephiroth just being there. It was enough to make the blonde happy; it was all he asked for. He saved the planet so many times, did he not? So why the very same planet he protected did ignore his pain, leaving him behind with only memories to painful to remember.

The soft breeze caressed Cloud once more, reassuring him that it all was worth it. As if the planet was apologizing for all it did to the blond fighter, for pushing them together to only rip them apart. "I miss you…all of you"…