Yes, another Newsies fic. Sorry Cats and Les Mis fans, I have taken a small break from those fandoms. You Newsies bums should go check them out, those are some great fandoms. Anywhoodles, here ya go, Riddles in the Dark!

Disclaimer: I am not Walt Disney. Although we do have the same birthday.

"Psst."

Silence.

"Psst. Dutchy."

"Wha?"

"Shurrup. Go to sleep."

"Sorry."

Silence.

"Psst! Hey! Dutchy!"

"Whattissit, Skitts? I'm tryin' ta sleep!"

"What goes higher and higher but can't fly?"

"Yah muddah on alcohol?"

Smothered laughter.

"Good one, Race."

"Shaddup, ya bums!"

"Sorry, Jack."

"Yeah, sorry, Cowboy."

Silence.

"Hey, Blink, what has a bed but never sleeps?"

"Everybody knows that one, Mush. A river."

"Oh."

Silence.

"What has a mouth but never eats?"

Sigh. "A river, Mush."

"Oh. You know that one too."

Silence.

"What runs and runs but never goes anywhere?"

"A river, Mush!"

"Ya knew that one too? Golly, Blink, you're good at this game!"

Exasperated sighs.

"Hey, Snipes."

"Yeah Boots?"

"What keeps comin' and comin' but nevah gets heah?"

"Dunno. What?"

"Tomorrah."

"Ooh, that's a good one."

"If ya fellas don't shut up, I'm gonna get Kloppy in heah and it won't be pretty."

Long silence.

"Hey, Crutchy. You asleep?"

Sigh.

"I was. Whattissit, Snipey?"

"A duck, a bear, and a scab walk into a bar-"

Groans.

"We'se all hoid this one, Snipe!"

"Ya stink like the Delanceys at riddles, Snipes."

"It was good the first six times."

"Well, whaddya know, ol' Race can count ta six!"

"Shaddup, Blink."

"I've told ya bums a thousand times! SHADDUP!"

"Shaddup an' go ta sleep, Jack!" said a gruff old voice from downstairs.

Not-very-well-contained laughter.

"Sorry, Kloppman," Jack said meekly.

"Serves ya roight, eh, Jack?"

"Snoddy, shaddup or I'll sic Spot Conlon on ya."

I had fun writing this one. All in a day's work, eh? (Seriously, this took me about an hour.) Tell me what you thought! I know I left out a few newsies (Snitch and Specs, for example), but I tried to get to all the favorites. David, Les, and Spot aren't there because, well... Spot's Brooklyn, and Dave and Les live with their parents. (Wow, that sounded a lot less wimpy in my head.) Hope this was funny enough for you!

And yes, the Lord of the Rings reference was on purpose. LEGOLAS FOREVER!

Seize the day!

Macavroche Higgins-Conlon