Title: Sweet Memoirs
Author: Hola-Meg-a-Cola
Rating: R
Fandom: Neon Genesis: Evangelion
Pairing: Gendo/Yui
Summary: He had slept with several women, but loved only one.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: My first Evangelion fic. Big thanks to my beta, Rukusho. She is the greatest.
Feedback: It's welcomed.


He had slept with several women, but loved only one.

Ikari Gendo rubbed his tired eyes with the palms of his hands, blankly staring at the darkened ceiling. His chest was still heaving heavily, although his mind had regained coherency several moments before. He briefly glanced over at his partner; Akagi Ritsuko clutched the cotton sheets to her chest, her eye lids lightly closed.

Rolling onto his side, Gendo purposely avoided looking at the women. It wasn't that he despised the woman; in all respects, he thought she was highly intelligent and a damned good scientist. But as a lover, Ritsuko was as useless as her mother, although he thought her a bit easier on the eyes.

He needed to leave; he hated being there any second longer than he had to.

Leaning up, Gendo paused briefly before placing his feet on the floor, indicating his imminent leave.

"You're leaving?" Ritsuko asked quietly. Gendo left the bed and found his pants nearby, picking them up and examining them.

"Since when have I ever stayed?" He replied rhetorically, stepping into each pant leg one at a time.

Ritsuko made no answer, giving up the argument and turning over in the bed, her back to him. That suited Gendo just fine; he preferred that she didn't speak to him when they were in this particular position.

"You're an odd one, Rokubungi Gendo; there's just something about you that's different,"

Gendo, young and full of an exuberance that did not exist presently, scowled at the young, lively Ikari Yui, his hands dug deep in his pockets. Yui laughed, her arms slipping around Gendo's neck. "Don't be insulted; your quirks make you sweet."

With smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, Gendo allowed one hand to rest on Yui's hip while his other played with her once long, chocolate hair. "If you say so," He gave up, softly kissing her temple.

Gendo blinked, realizing he was still standing in Ritsuko's bedroom, his hands still holding his pants at his waist. He quickly buttoned and zipped them, making up for lost time. Shuffling around the room, he found his other clothing and hastily put them on, guided only by the thin light breaking through the shutters. His fingers ran through his hair, damp by his own sweat.

"Will you be coming back tomorrow night?" Ritsuko inquired, longing hinted in her voice. Gendo cringed; she wanted more from this 'relationship', something he refused to give to anyone.

Fixing his navy jacket, he muttered, "It depends; you know that." Short but straightforward; it's how he preferred his time with her.

"You're going away for the break? When will you be coming back?" Yui asked him one winter night as Gendo walked her home. His arm draped over her shoulder, thinking to himself for only a moment. "As soon as possible; I'll make a quick appearance at home and return as soon as possible."

Yui turned away. "If you're visiting your parents, then you don't have to worry too much; I understand." She assured him. Sighing, Gendo tightened his arm around her. "No, I want to be with you during my break. I've been with my parents long enough; I'd rather bide my time with you than anyone else."

She laughed her natural laugh that Gendo found irresistible. "You're something else, Gendo."

He ground his teeth together as he pushed his shoes onto his feet, not bothering to put his socks on. Gendo left the bedroom, feeling Ritsuko's eyes on his back. He could care less, but he found it rather annoying that she was watching him leave. Passing through her living room, he found the keys to his car on the coffee table and grabbed them.

Gendo stepped into the dim hallway of Ritsuko's apartment building, walking along the corridors. It turned his stomach, sometimes, to think of himself coming to this woman for sexual relief. During these 'encounters', Yui would flood his thoughts, her scent filling his nostrils, her voice ringing in his ears, and her aura overwhelming him. He had almost called out for Yui during several situations with Ritsuko, but had bit his tongue to avoid an awkward situation.

"Gendo, have you ever thought about having children?"

The newlywed looked at his wife with glazed eyes as her petite form cuddled against him, the heat rising from their skin in direct contact with each other. He gathered his thoughts together for a moment before replying, "Well, not really…"

Yui nodded her head, resting it on his bare chest. "I see," she said quietly, as if understanding the supposed hint in his answer. "It's just…" she began, then paused. "I've always wanted kids…"

Gendo's hand slowly stroked her brown locks, his fingers tingling from the softness. "I never said I didn't want kids," he stated, "it's just… I never thought about them all that much."

Pushing herself up, Yui looked at him with her soft brown eyes. "Be honest, Gendo," she countered, her hands splayed across his chest, "do you really want kids?"

He smiled those rare smiles he saved only for her, caressing her jaw. "It doesn't matter what I want; if you want children, then I'm more than happy to help you achieve that."

She let herself rest upon him, her face dug into his neck. "Gendo, you're too much for me."

Gendo leaned against the cool material of his car, gazing blankly at the blue velvet of the midnight sky. It had been ten years since her death, but the memories were still vivid and clear, and he feared that they would always haunt him.

He didn't mind really; they were the only thing that gave him comfort at the end of the day.


Fin.