Stan stared, horrified, at his terrible excuse for a team. "We're gonna lose."

Gary raised an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?" Stan leaned to one side and put a hnd on his hip, a pose he'd picked up from Kyle some years ago. He waved his hand dramatically to the five other guys standing on the court.

"Look what I have to work with! Kyle's team has all the good players!"

Gary smiled and put a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Come on, that's no way to talk! Our team has potential!"

"Potential to lose. Miserably. I'm just going to cry in the corner, if you need me." Gary sighed and grabbed Stan back.

"Come on, you're the captain! If you think we're gonna lose, then we're gonna lose."

"So why bother even trying?" Stan asked, running a hand down his face.

"Because we're going to win, I can feel it!" Gary excitedly waved the rest of their team over. "Just focus on their strong points! Tell them their strengths. If they know you think they can do it, they'll believe they can do it, too!"

"How can you look at this sorry mess of people and think we even stand a -"

"Alright, guys," Gary shouted. "Stan's gonna give you all a little pep talk before we dominate Kyle's team!" Stan shot him a murderous look, but Gary just shrugged and smiled.

Stan stared once again at his team. He was never going to let Kyle pick teams again.

Damien and Pip were standing side by side, the dark-haired teen whispering something that made Pip blush widely. Cartman was eating a freaking hamburger on the basketball court, acting like it was all normal. Craig was staring at Stan with an apathetic gaze, and Gregory was folding his arms, an eyebrow raised as he waited for Stan to start speaking.

"Fuck my life," Stan muttered, before clearing his throat. "Okay, people..." He trailed his eyes over to Damien. "...and antichrist..." He paused, glancing over at Gary for some ideas. The Mormon just smiled and mouthed the word 'strengths'. "Kay...so, we're gonna play Kyle's team-"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Craig muttered. Stan spent a full thirty seconds glaring at the ebon before continuing.

"So...I think it's best if we focus on our strengths." Pip raised his hand. "...Yes?"

"What strengths?"

"Um...I can think up plenty! Like-" His eyes darted around frantically. "Pip, you have a great throwing arm! Yeah!" Stan smiled. "Just do what you do with a dodgeball, except shoot it like you're actually attemping to play basketball." Pip beamed.

"I can do that!" Stan shared a happy glance with Gary before moving on.

"Uh, Damien..." The antichrist scowled. "You've got the right idea of the game, just...when the ball comes toward you, you have to grab it. Don't pop anymore balls, this is our last one." Damien sighed but nodded.

Stan turned his attention to Craig, who was already glaring daggers at him. "You're good at sneak attacks and guarding, because you intimidate everyone. So just keep that up, I guess." The chullo-wearer flipped him off, which Stan took as a good sign. "Right. Cartman, you can easily guard, like, three people at once just standing there-"

"Ey!"

"-so just pretend they're hippies or Jews or whatever it is you don't like this week, and we'll be good."

Stan paused at Gregory. He really didn't want to bring up any of the Brit's already prominent strengths, but Gary gave him a knowing look.

"You...are goodwithstrategies...and stuff. Plus, you're the only one brave enough to guard Christophe." Gregory smirked and Stan rolled his eyes before turning and smiling at Gary. "And you're the most optimistic person I know. We might not win, but at least we won't go home crying like a bunch of losers. So let's go kick some ass."

His team gave pathetic murmurs of "Yay" and "Oh joy" and "I swear, if that ball comes near me, I'm going to tear apart the person who threw it".

Stan sighed and watched the teens walk back onto the court idly. "That's my team! Show them no mercy!" He moved to walk onto the court but was stopped by a pressure on his shoulder.

"You did great, Stan!" Gary smiled widely. "But you didn't give yourself a pep talk!"

"Oh, yeah, guess I forgot..." Stan chuckled.

Gary's eyes twinkled. "I could give you some motivation, if you want."

Stan put his hands in his pockets. "Sure, dude." Gary glanced around breifly before leaning toward Stan and pecking him quickly on the lips. Stan gasped. The blonde smiled brightly before walking toward the court to join the rest of the team.

"It doesn't matter if we win or lose, Stan," he called back. "As long as you try, I can give you more...motivation."

Stan stood there, gaping after him, only coming to his senses when Craig yelled at him to get his "gay ass on the court". So he shook his head to clear his thoughts, and stepped onto the court with confidence.

xxx

They lost the game miserably. The final score was -62 to 103 (Kyle claimed that a negative number was indeed possible in basketball). Cartman had sprained his spleen, so he said, so they had to call a time-out. Damien had been hit in the face with the ball, and had popped it before throwing it on the roof in anger. So they called another time-out while Kyle ran home to grab another one. Halfway through the game, Tweek (who was on Kyle's side) had gotten the ball and Craig scared anyone from taking it from him.

But Stan didn't care. Because in the midst of Kyle's team cheering and his own team grumbling, Gary had grabbed Stan's face gently in his hands and gave him some great motivation for the next game.