Disclamer: You know the drill...
We open up at a therapy clinic. A sign on the door reads "Closed today for private group session." Inside we see the "Old Republic" characters seated in a large circle. The therapist sat in the circle between Mission and Bastila.
Therapist: Thank you all for coming here today - hopefully we will be able to discuss any issues you may have with one another.
The Therapist looks around the circle to see Jani (Revan) and Malak glaring at each other at opposite ends of the circle; Carth is nervously stealing glances at his son Dustil; Mission with arms folded looks disapprovingly at Zalbar as he noisily eats a sandwich; and Canderous with a Heavy Repeater on his lap ready for a moments notice. Also seated are Juhani, Jolee, Bastila, and the two droids.
Therapist: So, would anyone like to go first? Bastila? (The Therapist looks over to Bastila who politely declines.) Ok then, how about HK?
HK-47: Excited Statement: I would love to partake in your meatbag ritual. However I must decline for I do not feel it is my place to be first. Perhaps master would like to go first instead?
Everyone's head terns to face Jani.
Therapist: Ok. Jani would you like to start use out?
Jani: Whatever. (Sighs and looks up at the ceiling as if recalling something.) Well…it all started when he tried to kill me.
Jani points across the circle at Malak.
Malak: What! You can't blame this all on me. You were the one that had to be Miss High and Mighty Sith Lord.
Jani: Yeah? Well you better get used to that because I'm going to become Sith Lord again once you're out of the way.
Carth: No Jani! Don't fall to the dark side!
Dustil: I knew it! You do care more about that woman than your own son! I should have stayed with the sith!
Therapist: Now calm down everyone. Calm down. I'm sensing some anger issues that we need to address. Now Jani why do you feel you need to turn back to the dark side?
Jani: Because who else is going to lead the sith army into the Jedi Civil War that will cause death and destruction though out the entire universe and will eventually lead to the sequel of this game? Shirley not Malak!
Malak: How do you even know there's going to be a sequel to this game!
Jani: Because the author of this story told me that there would be.
Everyone looks questioningly at Jani.
Jani: You Know, DARTH PHEX.
Everyone: Oooooh!
Therapist: Now I did see some anger from Carth and his son. Would you two like to go next?
Dustil: I have a name you know! I don't want to be known as the son of that man after he deserted mom and me on Telos!
Carth: Dustil I looked everywhere for you and your mother, don't say things like that! I was also busy with the republic fighting the sith trying to prevent them from destroying another planet!
Dustil: I hate you! (Dustil runs crying out of the room.)
Carth: Dustil wait! (Carth runs though the doors after him.)
Everyone in the room stares at the door as it slams shut. Several minutes pass in silence.
Therapist: Ok…anyone else?
Mission: I have a problem with HK's obsession with killing things. I went to talk to Jani the other day and he chases me away with a gun shouting something about " terminating meatbag threat to master."
HK-47: Protective statement: The meatbag Mission violated safety precautions with in proximity of master.
Mission: I always carry a blaster in my belt! It was for my own safety, I wasn't going to kill Jani!
HK-47: That is to be determined. Now stop your meatbag wining.
Therapist: How do you feel about this incident Jani?
Jani: Well…like most things Mission talks about, I'm pretty sure it would have been annoying, so good work HK!
HK-47: Proud exclamation: Thank you master. Your approval of my precautions delights me.
Juhani: Hey that's not fair. You can't talk to Mission like that!
Canderous: Oh shut up Carthar, nobody asked you anyway.
Juhani: Why don't you stay out of this Mandalorian filth.
Jolee: Settle down you two, were here to solve our problems, not kill each other. Why back in my day…
Mission: Nobody cares about back in your day you old fossil!
Jolee: Oh so you want to fight now too, missy?
Bastila: Stop it you guys, this is getting ridiculous!
Jani: Now now Bastila let them fight. It could get interesting.
Mission: Bring it on old man! I may lack experience but I'm younger and quicker.
Jolee: That's it you're going down!
Malak: I have my money on Mission!
Bastila: Shut up, you're not helping!
Jolee pulls out his light saber and activates it. Mission pulls out a vibro blade and charges. Before the blades could hit Zalbar roars and picks up Jolee. He then sends him flying halfway across the room. (A/N just in case you were wondering he finished his sandwich).
Mission: That's it were out of here. We'll meet you guys later at the Hawk.
Everyone stares at the door as it shuts then turn to stare at Jolee's unconscious body.
Bastila: He'll be ok right?
Jani: Yeah, don't worry about him. Hay T3, could you take Jolee back to the ship?
T3-M4: Beeblopziplipdopbeep!
Jani: Thanks.
Therapist: Well we've got a few minutes left. Enough time for maybe one more.
Bastila: Yeah, um Jani could you not use up all the hot water when you take a shower?
Jani: Will do.
Therapist: All right that's all the time we have today. I think we made progress, so same time next week.
Jani: All right. Say Malak did you need a ride home or are you covered?
Malak: Don't worry about me, I got a ride coming to pick me up.
Jani: All right team, next stop Mannon!
I didn't really know were I was going with this story but I like it anyway and I hope you did to. I might add more to this depending on how many reviews I get so R&R people!
