Anthony groaned as he slowly picked himself off of a cobbled path in Hogsmeade, looking up to see who he had run into. He froze at the sight of a disheveled Roger Davies, his heart rate quickening slightly when he saw the older boy give him a sheepish smile.
"Sorry, Anthony." He said quietly, hesitantly moving a hand up to brush back a loose stand of golden hair. Anthony couldn't help but leaned into the familiar touch, as he tried to push back the feelings he had so carefully buried. Roger's grin broadened when his fellow Ravenclaw didn't move away, Anthony had been avoiding him like the plague for nearly a year, and he had missed the closeness the two used to share.
"It's fine." Anthony said after a few second, "I wasn't looking where I was going." Looking behind Roger, he raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I thought you hated Madame Puddifoots?" he asked.
"I do." Roger said grimly, "Cho loves it, though."
Anthony's bright blue eyes darkened considerably, "So, she said yes, then?" His tone only giving the finest hint of the hurt he was feeling inside.
"No," Roger said, running a hand through his curly, dark blond hair, "She's going about some plot, or another to make Potter jealous, I feel bad for the poor bloke."
Anthony gave a half hearted smile, inwardly wondering why he hadn't run off yet, he knew that by talking to Roger, he was surly only setting himself up for more pain.
"Look, Anthony," Roger said, eyeing him with a sad smile, "Would you like to grab a butter beer with me at the Three Broomsticks? I'll buy."
The Ravenclaw chewed on his bottom lip in thought, playing out the different scenarios in his mind. Finally, he nodded slightly, and followed the smiling older teen down the center street towards their destination.
"So, you're talking to me again." Roger said as he slowly placed the two butter beers he had bought on the table, taking a seat across from the thoughtful blond.
"For now." Anthony said, eyes as bland as his voice making Roger wince.
"Look, Anthony, about what happened, I'm so-"
"Don't say it." Anthony cut in sharply, "You shouldn't say what you don't mean. And, judging from your actions, you don't mean it."
Roger eyed Anthony wearily, taking in the younger teen he used to be close friends with. Anthony had allowed his hair to grow out over the summer, now hanging just below his chin. The Ravenclaw had delicate features, yet high cheekbones that Roger was sure he had gotten from his mother if he remembered correctly. He couldn't help his eyes lingering on the petal pink lips he used to kiss so often, before they moved up to Anthony's own dull gaze, which used to be so bright.
"I've been stupid." Roger said after a while, drawing a sarcastic snort from his companion.
"Understatement of the year Rog." He said, making Roger smile at the old nickname.
"I didn't know what I wanted."
"You certainly seemed to that night at the Yule Ball." Anthony said hotly, eyes narrowing in his ill-disguised anger.
"It's not as if we were dating." Roger said, his own anger flaring up.
"No," Anthony hissed, "I believe your exact words were, 'We were just fooling around Anthony, it wasn't serious'."
Roger grimaced as he was reminded of that night. He and Fleur had decided to forgo the dancing after a while into the Ball, the part veela thinking it would be a good idea to take a nice walk in the garden. Roger had quickly stolen a kiss from his beautiful date, which quickly turned into much more at seeing how willing Fleur was.
Anthony had walked behind the bush they was concealing the couple, to be privy to a sight he rather not remember. Fleur was straddling her friend, dress hiked up, and halfway off her shoulders, while their lips were joined together in a lust filled kiss. To say Anthony was deeply hurt would have been putting it mildly. The Ravenclaw made his presence known, and none to gently told the Beauxbatons girl to 'Fuck off'. Fleur left in a huff, leaving Roger to deal with his friend's anger.
Roger snapped back to the present as Anthony continued on. "I mean," The blond continued, eyebrows furrowed in distress, "It would have been nice to know that I didn't mean anything to you." He said, trying to keep the hurt from his voice.
"You mean a lot to me." Roger said honestly, "You're one of my best friends, or were." He added sadly, "And, you were closer to me than anyone else was, and still are."
"You know I didn't mean it like that, Roger." Anthony said quietly. "I just don't get why you never simply set things straight with me before everything started. What? Did you think it would be funny to trick the little fourth year?"
"No!" Roger said, "I never meant to hurt you."
"Well, you did!" Anthony said, lowering his voice when he realized he was attracting the attention of the occupants at the tables near them. "You were my best friend, and you knew I liked you. You had to know Roger, I don't suppose I was the best at keeping it a secret, what with all those times you caught me staring at you when you were helping me with homework."
Roger smiled at the memories, "Well, you weren't exactly discreet." He admitted.
"So, you had to know, what it would mean to me, all those kisses and . . . and touches. It wasn't just fooling around to me!"
Roger closed his eyes at the hurt he heard in his friend's voice. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt you."
"But, you did, and you knew it too. Do you know how much it hurt to find you with her? And then, to have you tell me off for ruining what was sure to be a 'fun night'. "
"I did, and I'm sorry." Roger said quietly, just now realizing how much he had hurt Anthony.
"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have ignored me the next day, and then later ask out Cho!"
"I know it doesn't make sense. But, I just couldn't face my feelings for you as something serious. I've never been in a serious relationship, you know that, Anthony. But, with you, it was different, and . . . it scared me. I thought, if I treated it casually like I did with everyone else, it wouldn't be as terrifying as it was, and I could still have you. I never wanted to hurt you, I just didn't want to let myself get too close to you. I didn't deserve you, and now I certainly don't." He finished with a bitter smile.
Anthony stared at his butter beer pensively, an array of emotions flickering in his azure eyes. "It makes sense, slightly. As a Ravenclaw, I thought you'd be a little smarter though. It could never be just casual with us, Roger." Anthony said.
"I'm sorry." Roger said, not knowing what else to say.
"I know." Anthony said quietly. Then after a while he sighed, "You gave me my first kiss."
"I know. Do you regret it?"
Anthony was quiet for a while more, "No." Roger looked up, hope shining in his eyes.
"I don't like Cho."
"I gathered that." Anthony said, taking a sip of his butter beer. The two at in silence for a while "I never stopped loving you." Anthony said, staring determinedly at the table, ignoring the look of surprise Roger gave him, "And, trust me, I've tried."
"I . . ."
Anthony sighed, "You don't have to say it, I know you feel the same." Roger smiled slightly, Anthony had always been fairly good at knowing the things he couldn't quite say. "I'm willing to give it a try." Anthony said, sounding a little more unsure of him then he had before. "But, it can't be like it was before, this isn't casual."
"It won't be." Roger said firmly, "I know I can't exactly make up for how much I hurt you, but I'm going to try. . . I love you, Anthony."
Anthony smiled to himself, before bringing his eyes that were finally showing signs of their own life again, to Roger's, holding them in an intense gaze. Slowly, he reached his hand across the table to gently grasp Roger's, rubbing his thumb across the back. He suddenly smiled, his eyes alight with a newfound trust he held for the other boy. "Then show me."
AN: Okay, so this was originally for a competition entry, but I realized that I did it wrong, so I rewrote it and decided to post this on its own. I don't know if this pairing's been done before, but I find it interesting at least, Anyways, I hope you all liked it!
Reviews are Love! =D
