"At twelve o'clock, nurses room"

So said the note that, since more than half an hour, I held tight into my hand.

I knew I was supposed to throw it into the garbage pail, follow my path toward the hospital's exit and go eating something into the bar next; otherwise I knew I'd never do it.

Every time that I looked down to that writing smart, fluid, dignified... I could see his big hands taking a pen and tracing the few words, and a strength too powerful for me to fight, which led me toward the place he suggested.

My legs moved alone, leading me to him: eternal damnation and source of pain.

In a few time I arrived in front of the nurses room, the aisle was empty and the silence reigned supreme; the lunchbreak was definitively the best moment of the day.

My look went inevitably on my hand, leaned on the door handle, I took a deep breath and, giving another look to the aisle, I went in.

He was there, turned, intent in taking off his gown.

Hearing me coming in, he turned, and when my eyes met his, my heart lost a beat: emerald and chocolate melted together, his look shifted on my body in a slow caress, then it moved on my face again.

"Hi" he whispered, running a hand through his bronze hairs.

His lips tautened in a smile, while he came closer to me slowly; I felt my heart beating madly into my breast.

"Hi Edward" Our eyes were chained, tied to something indissoluble. Embarrassed, I glanced down.

When he arrived before me, I felt his fingers lifting my chin forcing me to look back at him; his lips touched mine softly, carrying me into a whirl of lust and passion.

His tongue caressed my lower lip, my hands was into his hairs: soft, disarranged... it was impossible to do without them.

Decisively his tongue asked to come into my mouth, suddenly I separated from him.

I couldn't allow all this to go on, it was too much for me... He was becoming too much for me.

"No!" I claimed, going far from his body.

He looked at me, with interrogative expression: "No what, Bella?"

"I want to end up with this story, I... I can't stand this situation anymore Edward"

I saw him frowning, he grinned in amusement, then he came closer to me; he furiously took my lips back.

"Mmm... I stopped believing it when you told it the third time, my little Bella."

What a bastard! He knew I was unable to resist him, he knew it and he took advantage of it since a lot of time by now.

I felt his hands reaching my bottom and lifting me from the ground, he pushed me against the staff's lockers and my back touched the cold metal of them; I shivered while his tongue caressed my right earlobe.

I didn't want him to go on, but at the same time I claimed for him to have me there, with no hesitation.

"Doctor Cullen is required in oncology"

Irritated, he punched the wall, he went far from me ad reached the mirror, in order to become presentable; he wore the gown and he quickly left the room.

I felt tears pressing at the corners of my eyes and, by now alone, I didn't restrain myself, I let them fall on my cheeks, shaken by strong sobs.

Here's what hurt the most: indifference.

After sex, there was nothing else, he stood up, he got dressed and without a word he left me there alone, alone and humiliated; and I, just like a fool, kept on obey to his recall, that continuous humiliation wasn't still enough for me.

That evening, once I was back into my home I listened to the messages on the answerphone: my mother prayed me to call her back as soon as possible, she had to say me something urgent.

Snorting, I took the cordless and dialed her number, she answered at the second ring, like she were really impatient to tell me her new.

"Bella?" Her enthusiastic voice shook me from my trance.

"Hi mom... I just listened to your message... tell me" I tried to sound happy to talk to her, but that day it wasn't supposed to make me feel better.

"Oh right! Honey, your father got a promotion and on Friday night his boss invited them for a dinner, you're obviously included in the invitation! You dad would be happy if you'll be with us... are you going to come?" I sighed, knowing that I couldn't refuse.

"Of course mom, I can't miss it. Make my congratulations to dad!"

"Of course my darling, a hug" she hung up, and I fell on the couch snorting.

A business dinner wasn't the best way to spend Friday night, I thought zapping through channels.

There wasn't something interesting on television, I couldn't do a thing but feeling sorry for myself... and there was where I wanted to arrive.

Before I could do something rash, like taking out from the fridge a maxi ice cream package, I called Angela and convinced her to go out with me.

It was Saturday night, we were in New York, I could stay there and torment myself for an idiot; was it just sex to him? Good.

At nine o'clock p.m. Angie fetched me with her old Ford, I went down the stairs quickly and reached for her on the passenger seat.

"Wow Bella! Do you want to impress, uh?" she chortled, looking at my clothes for the evening.

I wanted to be at the top, that's why I chase to wear a dress which covered hardly the half of my thigh, with high heels; I would have fun, and he was not supposed to be in my thoughts anymore.