"LAMBO!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" He ran as if death was on his heels. This, actually, was the truth.

And death's name was Bianchi. Bianchi combined with huge, seething, purple desserts in hand. And let us not forget that she was running after Lambo with hell-fiery rage. After all, she had just returned from a four month trip away in some other land only to learn that… her one and only love, the man she was obsessed with, her 'partner in life' (as she so believed), had married the man who reminded her often of her first love, Romeo.

She obviously wanted Lambo dead. And, also obviously, Reborn was not helping at all.

He was on his third lap around the Vongola headquarters when someone finally decided to take pity on him and try to distract Bianchi, his saving angels; A.K.A. Kyoko and Haru.

"Bianchi, please be happy for them! If you truly love Reborn, you will love him enough to let him be happy." Haru speaks with sad eyes and a sorrowful frown; she speaks from experience, as they all know. She had loved Tsuna, only to lose him to Hibari.

"She's right, Bianchi." Kyoko rests her hands on Bianchi's shoulders, her face mournful too. She was not the only one who had love and lost it; if only Tsuna had not been claimed by Hibari.

Lambo had fallen some feet behind them, and now he watched them, half sitting up, mostly balanced on one elbow. He shakes as Bianchi gives him such a look of pained hatred; her eyes seem to glow with its intensity.

It takes three minutes before she lowers the pies and lets them plop onto the ground (where they sizzle and destroy the grass dirt it hits, as well as a number of nearby trees whose roots must have been close by to the desserts) and sighs in defeat. She glares at Lambo and turns on her heel, leaving.

He finally breathes. "Thank you, Haru and Kyoko." He stands up and dusts off his knees.

Kyoko smiles sweetly. "You're welcome, Lambo." Kyoko hugs him. "I think you two are really cute together."

"Well, I don't think you're welcome!" Haru huffs and crosses her arms petulantly over her breast. "You didn't tell us about the wedding until it was already over and I didn't get to make you a wedding gown!"

A silence descends over Lambo, even as Kyoko giggles. "Haru, I'm a guy; guys don't wear wedding gowns."

"You would have had I made one for you!" Her hands fist as her sides. "You're so mean!"

Lambo takes a step back. "U-uuummm… Yare, yare…"

Kyoko claps her hands, an idea visibly coming to mind. "I know! Why not make one for him anyway? And then we can get Reborn to wear a tuxedo and take a picture! It will be like we were there for the wedding."

"What?" Lambo looks blankly to her.

"Except we weren't there for the marriage." But Haru looks thoughtful; perhaps even happy for the idea.

Lambo began a slow retreat backwards. Kyoko grabs one arm and Haru the other, both laughing as they discuss what kind of dress would look best on Lambo.

"I haven't agreed to this!" He is ignored.

"Reborn~!" Haru peeks her head around the door, opened just a crack, just enough to see around. "Are you in here?"

The hitman looks up from his newspaper to her; he sits at a leather chaise, his head on the armrest and one leg raised, the picture of lazy elegance. "Ciaossu."

Haru smiles and slips into the room, bowing once she is next to the lounge chair. "Reborn, we hope that you will wear this!" She outstretches a package she had been holding behind her back to Reborn.

He raises a brow and sits up, setting the newspaper down next to him. "And what is… this?" He gestures to the package.

Haru smiles angelically. "It's a tuxedo!" She puts her hands up in a 'wait for it' gesture. "Don't worry, we already measured it to fit you and it is your style!"

He gives her a small smile in turn and rests his chin on one hand. "So you admit to have been raiding my drawers?"

She sputters and then looks away. "I did it only to learn your measurements! How can I make you costumes if I don't know your size?"

He continues to stare at her. "We are not having another wedding just so you can take a picture, Haru."

"… How did you know?" She looks around herself, almost expecting to see cameras in every corner of the room and, possibly, the entire Vongola estate as well as every where else the hitman had ever walked. It was disconcerting whenever Reborn knew something without being told about it.

"It's a tuxedo; I doubt you want me to wear it for the sake of looking like a penguin."

She pouts. "B-but, we already went through the trouble of forcing Lambo into a gown!"

This makes him pause. "… You made the cow wear a gown?" She bobs her head frantically. "… What does it look like?"

"Tut tut tut!" She puts a finger to her lips. "I can't tell you that; that would be just as bad if you were to see him yourself!"

"Then I guess I don't get to see it." He lies back down and opens the newspaper to where he had been.

There is a moment of silence where Haru tries to outwait him. She loses. "We weren't going to make you two have another wedding." She admits with shame, her head drooping. "We just want you two to wear the tux and gown so we can take a picture and feel like we were at the wedding."

He sits back up and takes the package in hand. "How long until he is ready?"

She leaps forward and hugs him around the waist. "Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Reborn! I will make Lambo the most beautiful wife in the world!" As an afterthought, she says – "Give us a few more hours and then one of us will come and get you."

She dashes to her feet and then to the door; she pauses briefly to look back at him and squeal with joy before running as fast as she possibly could.

She reaches Lambo's temporary room and slams the door open. "He agreed! He's going to wear the tux, Kyoko!"

"Aaah!" Kyoko clasps her hands together, grinning. "This is going to be wonderful!"

"…" Lambo bites back tears of frustration. His last hope had just leaped out of the window, committing suicide; figuratively, of course – his actual last hope had just agreed to put on a tux, but it felt like the same thing.

"How is the skirt going, Kyoko?" Haru comes forward to pick at the white silk; Lambo is balanced on a stool, his hands tied behind his back and a lollipop in his mouth as both a bribe and a gag.

It's going great!" Kyoko lifts up the skirt up to show Haru the ruffled girdle around Lambo's upper thigh. "Isn't that cute, Haru?"

"Waah~! Reborn is going to love that!" She blinks and tilts her head. "Did you shave his legs?" When Kyoko smiles and shakes her head, Haru giggles, looking up at Lambo with a sly expression. "Did Reborn ask you to or have you always done that?"

Lambo flushes and looks away; he had been shaking his legs since he had been 12. He had liked how smooth his legs had felt afterwards, so he had just kept doing it. And, yeah, Reborn really liked it, but that was beside the point.

They both giggle and continue what they are doing (torturing him). Once they are done with the skirt, they sit him down and tie his legs together and then to the stool, before beginning making the top. They have to, fortunately for Lambo, not so fortunately for them, untie his wrists to complete the segment.

Lured with another lollipop, Lambo remains still, forfeiting his last chance of escape..

It takes 12 hours before they are done.

He had been napping for possibly six hours now. The snow white two-button Italian suit was immaculate and the white slip-on dress shoes were just as comfortable as his black loafers. The white fedora worked just as well to hide his eyes, so he was content.

He woke up even before the door creaked open. "He's ready, Reborn!" Haru smiles sweetly. "And he looks beautiful." She leaves him to himself, shutting the door as she goes.

He follows not too long afterward.

"Kyoko, this really isn't necessary." Tsuna tries to release himself from her grip gently. Truthfully, he is all but trying to run in the opposite direction. This can not be a good idea! Someone is going to die, he just knows it! And, with his luck, he will most likely be the one to be killed! … Okay, maybe second choice; truthfully, it might be Lambo who is killed first, because, as it turns out, Bianchi is going to see the 'happy couple' too.

She smiles at him. "Please, Tsuna? Haru and I worked really hard on Lambo's dress!"

He freezes. "… You made Lambo… wear a dress?" Cue flabbergasted expression and sudden compliancy to be dragged about without even realizing it.

She giggles and nods. "He looks really pretty." With that, she successfully drags him into the ballroom where, already there, Ryohei, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Fuuta, I-Pin, Giannini, Spanner, Shoichi, and (manly shriek) a very pissed looking Bianchi. Mukuro, Chrome, Chikusa, Ken, and Hibari are nowhere to be seen.

"… Is Fuuta crying?"

Kyoko nods. "Lambo is technically his baby!" She explains, pointing a finger up. "He has raised him for years."

I-Pin looks between happy and serious. Yamamoto had been whispering something into Gokudera's ear and was repeatedly beaten over the head for whatever it was that he was saying. Giannini was having a small debate with Spanner (supposedly over the success of one wedding picture, if the random words he can hear from where he stands are any hint) while Shoichi holds onto his stomach (weddings make him nervous, apparently) and tries to listen to them. Ryohei is so pumped, he is having a spar with air. Bianchi… is looking pissed, as already mentioned.

This all changes when Reborn walks out onto the makeshift stage; suddenly, Yamamoto, Ryohei, and Fuuta are crowding him, shouting one thing after another (Ryohei is EXTREMELY proud of him; Yamamoto wants a few tips on how to get Gokudera to marry him – and has a shoe thrown at him for his efforts; Fuuta wants him to take good care of Lambo, and tells him so with a serious face). I-Pin falls back to try and keep Bianchi calm while Giannini applauds Reborn from where he stands. Spanner's stomach ache worsens, so Spanner lends an arm for him to lean on.

Music begins in the background and then Haru skips out from a different hallway; she grabs Fuuta and pulls him back into the hall and there is silence for three minutes.

And then… jaws drop.

"L-Lambo?" Tsuna's voice is a high-pitched squeal of shock and his cheeks are dusted red.

The teenager does not look up at him; from what he can see, Lambo's face is as red as a tomato. "Yare, yare, I thought there were going to be fewer people." Tsuna can just barely hear him say. If one were to look close enough, they would be able to see that Haru has an iron grip on one arm and Fuuta on his other arm. If one were to look down at their feet, they would see that Lambo's feet, dressed in ivory bridal heels, were dragging and stumbling across the floor.

However, seeing as how the majority of the room was men, their eyes did not fall to Lambo's shoes or Fuuta or Haru.

They fell to the ruffled, low-cut neckline of Lambo's dress, to how the silk white clung to his belly and hugged his hips, how the silk white flowed into a side-line tiered skirt much like a Spanish dancer's skirt would. Though he had no breasts to fill out the top, how the fabric clung to him drew attention away from that fact and instead accentuated his flat belly, the curves of his hips, and the almost fragility of his thin arms and neck, how petite he is. The heels as well made him seem taller; his legs – already shapely – were those the swiftest ballerina would envy. There were three white clips in his hair, holding it away from his left cheek, and a length of it feathered over the opposite cheek.

He looks like an amazing woman, to put it short.

Haru leans forward and whispers something into his ear; whatever it is, he stops dragging his heels and walks – mostly – on his own.

Almost as if having the same thought, Yamamoto and Ryohei back down from the stage and slide back to where they had stood beforehand; Yamamoto wraps a hand around one of Gokudera's and grins at Lambo. Gokudera looks half between shock and awe, so much so, he doesn't fight his lover.

Lambo is lead to the stage, where Reborn stands, and his eyes roaming over Lambo's form heatedly. Fuuta gives Lambo over to the hitman, resting the teenager's hand in Reborn's. Haru finally deems it time to release the teenager, stepping back with a proud smile and teary eyes.

Lambo is swept onto the stage and then against Reborn's chest, almost as if they were about to start dancing.

Tsuna looks to Kyoko, but she is far too busy fawning over the 'beautiful' sight. She rushes forward to join Haru who had fallen back to the side of I-Pin.

Slowly, he goes forward until he is on Gokudera's other side. He looks slowly from one side of the ballroom to the other. "… Isn't there someone who is going to take the picture?" He whispers behind Gokudera's back to Yamamoto. The swordsman shrugs and grins.

"Oh!" Haru rummages into a bag that had not been there before; she pulls out a… Kodak camera… All of this effort, and it was to take a picture with a Kodak camera? She points it at Lambo and Reborn and begins snapping pictures with a vengeance.

And – could it be believed? – Reborn begins twirling Lambo in circles, beginning a dance on the stage to the music playing in the background. The girls are in silent awe, but the guys grin and watch…. Except for Yamamoto; always except for Yamamoto whenever anything relatively romantic occurs.

He uses the hand he's holding to swing Gokudera out and then back to him, laughing softly. "We should dance too, Hay-kun!" His effort is rewarded with a sucker punch to the gut. "Oof! Ah hah hah hah!"

Tsuna looks back at Bianchi; it hurts to watch, but she's crying. He can't help but remember 12 years back when she and Reborn had almost married.

Spanner uses Shoichi's pain (his stomach is against the wedding) to begin dancing with the genius, trying to be subtle about it so Shoichi doesn't even know that he is dancing. Giannini watches with amusement.

When Haru finishes with the Kodak camera, Reborn whispers something into Lambo's ear. After a moment, the guardian nods and is released.

The 'bride' is first attacked by Ryohei. "Let's dance!" What he does next is almost too painful to witness; almost like he's trying to accomplish the twist while going rock star on Lambo at the same time. He begins stomping his feet and it's almost like he purposefully tries to step on Lambo's feet.

While this happens, Reborn abandons the stage and goes to Bianchi, offering her a hand. She takes it and presses into him, her head into his shoulder.

Tsuna watches with curiosity as he leans down and begins speaking quietly to her. He can't see her face and he has no clue what Reborn is saying, but, whatever it is he says, he can feel Bianchi calming down.

By the time he steps back, Bianchi is smiling in understanding and Lambo has (mercifully) changed partners.

Now Yamamoto looked happy and Gokudera extremely pissed. As it turned out, the rain guardian was an amazing dancer. It only took five seconds after that to occur to the onlookers before Gokudera snatches his lover from Lambo and demands that he be danced with.

Yamamoto laughs and does as told, swinging Gokudera away and into a speedy tempo that has nothing to do with the song. Lambo is promptly stolen by Fuuta and I-Pin simultaneously.

Tsuna takes a moment to wonder how Lambo can maneuver so well in heels, but the thought passes as he hears a sound of annoyance from behind him. He spins on his heel and there is Hibari, looking into the crowd with a blank face, but eyes alight with disgust. "I hate crowding."

He can not help but smile. "Than why come?"

"Because the baby asked me to."

"He isn't quite a baby anymore."

"He isn't a man either." Tsuna wants to disagree with that, but decides not to. He walks to his lover and wraps an arm around his shoulders, the other he grasps the dangerous man's hand with.

"We don't have to dance with them, Hibari. We can stay right here." He watches as Hibari gives it a thought and then is spun into a majestic and graceful dance, just on the edge of the larger group of people.

Meanwhile, Lambo is… having the time of his life. His 'mamma' and his 'sister' are spinning in a circle, he with them. Round and round they go, giggling like the children they had once been.

A throat is cleared; they turn around and are greeted by the sight of Lambo's now-husband (technically has been since night before last).

Reborn reaches out a hand to Lambo, palm up, as he smiles. Lambo returns the grin and slips away from Fuuta and I-Pin, going back into Reborn's arms.

"I feel like a girl." He complains as they spin away.

"You look like one." He pouts at the older man, who only smirks. "My idiotic cow; of course you would know your way around in heels. It's strange… I have never before seen you in heels, but you move in them like a pro."

He flushes again and looks down and away. "I was bored… and I-Pin dared me…" He glowers at him. "Shut up."

His lover chuckles and kisses him deeply. "Ti amo, moglie. ( - I love you, wife)"

Lambo sucks in a deep breath. He bites his bottom lip and his blush darkens even more (as impossible as that seems). "I. .. Anch'io ti amo, bastardo avaro ... ( - I… I love you too, you stingy bastard…)" It feels like having a huge weight lifted from his breast, like he can finally live his life to the fullest.

He has finally admitted love for the cruel hitman. And that makes their marriage more official than the rings on their fingers and the piece of paper saying that they are bonded.

Reborn looks pleasantly unsurprised. Instead of saying anything, he only brings Lambo closer.

Author's Note: Chikamikk10 and Cordy wanted to know. This was awkward for me to write because I am really not good at wedding fics (despite it not actually being the wedding), but it's over with now!