A/N: Some angst comin' your wayyyyy~ I recommend you listening to the song while you're reading this. ;D
DISCLAIMER: i NOT OWN TEMPORARY BLISS- THE CAB, OR TWD. SO DON'T SUE ME.
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TEMPORARY BLISS
by: Stew
I come over, quarter past two, love in my eyes blinded by you. Just to get a taste of heaven, I'm on my knees..
Glenn knows he's being utterly stupid. He knows he shouldn't be doing this. He knows—thinks— he knows better, and what he's doing, it's killing him. But here he is, in all his stupidity, walking over to that man's house in the middle of the night, hands wrenching and heart clenching. He knows what he's going to see when he gets there, it shouldn't bother him, shouldn't surprise him.
When he gets there, there he is, opening the door with his stupid cigarette hanging dangerously from his thin, pink lips, and he frowns, but lets him in. Glenn feels unwelcome.
I can't help it, I'm addicted, but I can't stand the pain inflicted, in the morning you're not holding on to me.
When Glenn lies down next to him, he has a smile on his face, his hands next to him, and Glenn wishes, pleads..that he wrap those arms around him. But he knows he doesn't have the liberty to ask. So he turns over to the left, not facing him, never facing him. Glenn knows it doesn't matter, though. He knows he doesn't care. He forces himself to close his eyes, knowing very well what will happen next, and he almost wants it to happen, as he curls in on himself.
"'Ya should go,"
And he does.
Tell me what's the point of doing this every night? What you're giving me is nothing but a heartless lullaby, gonna kill my dreams, oh, this is the last time, baby, make up your mind..
At times that he doesn't make Glenn go, the Asian stays awake, hearing him rumble to himself, sometimes singing 'Dani California', sometimes just there, breathing, letting Glenn poison himself with 'what-ifs', just always there, his warmth beside Glenn's cold body, but it's not enough, it's never enough for Glenn, but then again, he knows he'll be gone in the morning, and sometimes, he pays Glenn. But I'm not a whore, Glenn says, but he's not here to hear it.
'Cause I can't keep sleeping in your bed, if you keep messing with my head, before I slip under your sheets, can you give me something, please?
Glenn wants to reason to him, but before he could open his mouth, he's already in the throes of passion, and then, he forgets as he calls out his name, love lacing each damn syllable, and Glenn wants himself to stop, just stop, because he's hurting himself bad, and no one's there to pick up the pieces. He can't continue this. Whatever this he had going. It was such a dumb.. dumb thing to do.
I can't keeping touching you like this, if it's just temporary bliss, just temporary bliss.
He feels like a goddamned school girl with issues. He stands there, still in his work uniform, still smelling like pizza and sweat and him, and Glenn really can't complain now, can he? The man just stands there, with that damned girl draping herself and her dumb blonde locks on him, kissing her way up his neck, staining his porcelain skin with her dumb red lipstick, and suddenly, Glenn wants to see the bitch die in his hands. And also, at that time, he wishes he was worthy of his eyes like that, to be loved, kissed, God, cuddled, but then again, he thinks as he slaps himself inside the bathroom, you don't have the right to ask. So he re-adjusts his cap on his head, closing his eyes as he exits the house, ignoring the wonderful feeling of finally, finally, having his eyes on Glenn.
We were on fire, now, were frozen, there's no desire, nothing spoken. You're just playing, I keep waiting for your heart.
Before Glenn does anything stupid like break up with him, he remembers then, when he used to take him out to dates, awkward dates, then drop him off his house, kissing him on the forehead and tells him how much he loves him in his own little ways, like dropping off squirrel carcass on his front porch, and then going on a wild goose-chase with him while the cops chase him for what his brother did. And then, Glenn lets himself smile. He knows exactly when he started pulling away, and ever since, well, ever since, he always asked himself just when was he planning to rip his heart out. He loves him so, so much. Glenn wishes he can still say that to him, even if he knows he won't return it. Dammit, this hurts.
I am fiending for the sunshine, to show our love in a good light. Give me reason, I am pleading to the stars.
It's morning now. He's home, but he doesn't smell like home. Glenn almost pukes as he nears him, and he smells like his stupid brother, and Glenn is afraid to tell him that he's turning into his brother.. or father. Because he can't. His heart stops when he looks into his eyes for the first time in months, and he suddenly feels at home in those cold, cold blues. Glenn forces himself to not cry infront of him because he might leave again. And he can't take this shit anymore. "Should we break up?" He doesn't even know why he's asking him this. But he looks at Glenn with those eyes, which were suddenly softening, and Glenn can't go away, he fucking can't.
I'm your one and only, only when you're lonely, baby why you callin me? Not another one night, try'na be your whole life
"Hello?"
"Where 'th hell are ya, ya stupid chinaman?"
"Thought you'd be the last to care,"
"'Th fuck? Watch 'tha gibberish 's comin' outta yer mouth, boy,"
"I should ask you the same question, angelface—" he just uses his endearment to spite him. He's such a coward, confronting him on the phone. "—where are you?"
A pause.
Glenn hangs up.
I can't keep sleeping in your bed, if you keep messing with my head, I can't keep feeling love like this, It's not worth temporary bliss
Daryl wakes up that morning, he's not there. And suddenly, he remembers, he hasn't been there in three years. He still hears him laughing, that beautiful, tinkling laugh of his, and then, he remembers, I can't get him back now. I don't have the liberty to ask for him back. He lays back down, shutting his blue, sad eyes tightly as he clutches his pillow, and can still smell his scent. Pizza, mint, and Glenn. He reminds himself it's his fault.
He wishes he can still tell him he loves him.
It's not worth temporary bliss.
Glenn still keeps Daryl's picture in his wallet, the only reminder of what had been. As he stands there, with his son and the beautiful brunette that was his wife, he keeps the wallet out of sight, thus, maybe.. out of mind. He looks at his son, wishing he had blue eyes instead of green.
Maggie tells him she loves him. He says it back, pushing away the thought that she had lighter hair than Daryl.
He can't go back to him. Can't.
A/N: Do what you gotta do, honey. ;*
Stew, out!
