The clock in the hall rang out for midnight, upstairs a man lay in bed staring at the ceiling while rubbing at his eyes, tiredness obvious on his features. John could remember being forced to go without sleep for days at a time due to late night calls from all over the world, the days would seem twice as long as he waited for the darkness to fall and the phone to ring. He had complained about it constantly and yet now he would give anything for the small screen to light up with an incoming call.
Slowly since that last call 2 weeks ago things had slowly gone back to normal, his eating habits, his work schedule, hell even his blasted limp was coming back, each step had him praying that it wouldn't give in all together.
Harry had called him crazy of course, insisted that he move in with her for a while, and claimed that he was probably losing his mind in the small flat. John told her that he was fine, that he was coping perfectly by himself, neither sibling was convinced.
A splatter of rain hit the window causing John to turn his head; it always seemed to be raining these days, no blue skies for him or the rest of London. Though it was impossible, John liked to imagine it was raining just for him, he found comfort in the fact that the sky was joining him in sadness, the rain a perfect match to his tears.
Turning back towards the ceiling John's eyes got caught on the chess board shoved in the corner of the room, he had never liked the game himself. But he couldn't bring himself to throw it out; after all it was the last gift he had ever received from…him. God, he couldn't even say his name. It was pathetic.
Their relationship had been a bit like a game of chess, except in their version the rules changed each day, that was what pushed John over the edge in the end. The personality changes had been too fast for him to keep up always wondering which version he would meet or talk to that night. It was what stopped him picking up the phone two weeks ago despite knowing that it meant the end of everything.
John could see how destructive the relationship actually was now that it was all gone. He was too old now to be messing around like a teenager and look where it got him, crying on Mrs. Hudson's sofa. He should've known it wouldn't end well.
Maybe it was his fault things started to go downhill, his blind optimism that things would work out fine in the end. Or maybe it was the other man and his sick ideas about giving love then taking it away. He probably hated John now thought him a traitor. Yet John didn't regret ignoring his friends when they told him to turn the other way and run.
John even knew about his lovers' obsession with dark, twisted games and had believed they would stop after their relationship had begun. He should've known better. As it turned out, his lover was an expert at saying sorry and begging for forgiveness. The constant switch between apologizing to John and then ignoring him always ensure the soldier never knew how much control he had in the relationship.
His lover had never been impressed when John brought up the subject of their relationship and where it was going, a mask would come down and tired lifeless eyes would fix on John's blue making him regret questioning the man at all.
But now that was all over, no more questions asked or answers hidden and John would give anything to have it back. Sighing he stared at the silent mobile in his hand not realizing that the object of his thoughts was doing exactly the same.
I do know who I am pairing John with but am curious to your ideas so please check out the poll on my profile and vote.
