Hey lovelies!
As some of you may know, I participated in the FoxyFics fundraiser to raise money for Parkinson's research. Good news is that FoxyFics has raised more than its goal. Huge congrats! It was great participating for such a great cause, and I can't wait to help out again.
So, this one-shot was written strictly for FoxyFics.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer obviously owns all things Twilight, definitely not me.
Oh, and you all know that I do quite a bit of angst and heartfail, right? Keep that in mind... and grab some Kleenex.
Life works in strange ways.
There are times where you feel that things couldn't be any worse, then moments later believe you've never been happier. There are twists and turns, ups and downs, spins and whirls. Life continuously hands us the unexpected, and we've grown accustomed to it. Nothing is set in stone, and no one can control fate. We give in to destiny and await life's instructions.
However, many people like to choose their own destiny.
Others…go beyond their own.
-ͽͼ-
Forks was a small, sheltered town in Washington, and evidently my home. Born and raised there, I was thrown into the stereotypical small-town girl lifestyle. Everyone knew everyone, secrets were never kept, and chances were you'd never leave.
As a child, I had bigger dreams—city lights streaming through my bedroom window, being an independent woman, making my own decisions. My mother Renee had always told me she believed I had an 'old soul'. For my age, I acted years older.
When I was in my early years of grade school, particularly around seven years old, I always kept to myself. A bookworm of sorts, you could say. My chocolate brown eyes remained shielded behind any book I had my hands on—each only lasting a few days until I'd soared through every page, then quickly discarded and replaced with another thriller. My long dark brown hair was always pulled up into a ponytail because it irritated me when strands would fall in front of my eyes, obstructing my view. I barely conversed with others, had very few friends if any, and was extremely shy. My parents, Charlie and Renee, did whatever they could to get me out there and help me become more social, but I wouldn't have it. I was more than content with my books, engulfed in the endless stories of mysteries and drama.
Our comfortable, modest home had a large oak tree in front of it, which became my favourite reading spot. Those few days where dark clouds hadn't swallowed the sky, I was never found in my home. Sitting underneath my oak tree, entranced with my reading—that's where my parents would find me. Unless it was entirely necessary, I wouldn't be disrupted—my parents knew better. Though I was shy, I was easily sensitive and annoyed. I chalked it up to being a headstrong girl; others would dislike me for it, though it didn't necessarily bother me.
It was on a day like that, where the sun's warm rays blanketed my skin, when my first turn in life began.
"Whatcha readin'?" an unfamiliar voice asked. I huffed irritably and ignored the distracting voice, going back to the beginning of the paragraph where I had left off. No details could be left out and starting over was a must—I could have missed something. I had read only a few words before the voice interrupted my reading again. "Helloooo? Anyone home?"
"Wuthering Heights," I sighed, still not bothering to take my eyes away from the pages.
"Wudern what?"
"Wuthering Heights," I said slowly as if speaking to a child. Then again, I probably was.
"What's it about?"
I sighed again, wanting nothing more but to continue reading, so I gave him the vaguest answer I could in hopes of a quick dismissal. "It's a love story."
"Ew," he exclaimed.
I scoffed angrily and finally locked eyes with my reading intruder. "It is not ew, it is a classic masterpiece. Only a fool would criticize work that they have yet to discover—it's called ignorance."
The tall russet skinned boy stared wide eyed at me, his eyes so dark I couldn't distinguish between his pupil and iris. His hair was about the same colour, but it was way too long for a boy, and he had it tied up just like mine was.
"Those are pretty big words for a little kid," he replied once he gathered himself back up. If I were right, he looked pretty angry with what I had said to him. I almost felt bad, but realized what he had called me.
"I am not a little kid!"
He laughed. "Yeah, you are. What are you, six?"
"Seven, actually. And what are you, five?"
He only laughed louder. "What? Are you blind? I'm bigger than you and you're six! Nope, I've got three years on you, kid. I'm ten."
"Oh, wow. A whole hand," I muttered, shaking my head.
"Exactly." He pointed at me and said, "You equal kid," before pointing back at himself. "Me equal man."
"No, you equal moron," I spat. "Now leave me alone."
"Nuh uh," he said and I groaned in annoyance as I tilted my head up to the sky. Why, God? Why? "I'm here to see the Chief."
My father Charlie was the Chief of police in Forks and was a very respectable man. He was to thank for the low crime rate in the town, and many took their chances to do so whenever they could.
"He's not home," I told him, thanking God silently for at least kind of being on my side. "Now go away."
"Nope, I'll just hang out here until he gets back." As if things couldn't get any worse, he sat down and leaned against my oak tree.
"Hey, move it!" I yelled, closing my book and glaring at him. "This is my tree."
"Oh, what, does it have your name on it?" he scoffed, smirking and practically challenging me to back down.
"Actually, it does," I smirked back. Two can play this game, buddy. I pointed to the spot where I was leaning on, giving him a good view of the deep carving of I.S. on the trunk. "See? My tree."
I heard a swish before the knife came into my view and immediately cowered back. That's it, I was going to die. I was going to die by the hands of an annoying ten year old brat who wanted my oak tree. I closed my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the pain to come… but there was none. Taking in a deep breath, I bravely opened my left eye and squinted at the boy as he hunched over the tree trunk. Realizing there was no danger and I may have overreacted a tad bit, I leaned over to get a better view of what he was doing. As soon as I did, he had finished whatever his task was and moved away, quickly placing his hands over his ears when I screamed.
"What did you do?" I screeched, reaching my hand out to touch the wood and retracting it before it did. Right under my initials was another pair – J.B.
"See, now it's both of ours," he shrugged nonchalantly once I stopped screaming. "If we're gonna be best friends, you need to learn how to share."
My mouth gaped open in shock, my brain shut down completely and my body was frozen.
This kid was crazy.
But, there was this aura about him. Even though he was a pain in my you-know-what, I had never gotten so riled up by someone before. I didn't let many in to see the real me, and it took a long time for others to see that, but this boy, this J.B. saw through me only a few short words in.
Best friends.
Before my brain could reboot, I held my hand out towards him. "Bella Swan. Full name's Isabella, but I hate it, so don't ever call me that."
"Jacob Black," he smiled widely and firmly shook my hand. "And I think I'll call you Isabella, just for that."
The only sound after that was his howl in pain from a swift punch to his shoulder. Though it probably hurt me more than him, I couldn't help but smirk.
Jacob had already begun to change my life—I just didn't realize it then.
-ͽͼ-
Years came and went without a trace. Children grew, people aged, and life continued to change.
Junior high was a new stepping stone in my own life, one that terrified me greatly. Even with Jacob around, I never grew out of my shy exterior and never believed I would. It didn't necessarily bother me, but what did was being teased about it. Children could be cruel.
"But what if they call me names? Like freak, or something?" I cried pathetically one night to Jacob, confiding in my best friend as I had for years. "Can't I just be homeschooled or something?"
"Aw, come on now, kid," he said, throwing his arm over my shoulder reassuringly and rubbed my arm. It always irked me when he'd call me 'kid', but through the years I had grown accustomed to it. "It won't be that bad. Trust me, when they get one look at you, they'll think nothing like that. You're pretty great."
I sniffed and wiped my fingers across my cheek, ridding the wet trails of tears. "Really? You think I'm great?"
I swear, if it weren't for the dim lighting in my bedroom, I would have been completely positive that Jake blushed. He'd grown out of his lanky childhood frame and filled out into quite the muscular teenager. I guess only working out and fixing up cars could do that to someone—not that I had any idea, considering I was still the gangly, awkward girl that I had been for years. The glasses were still on, the long hair was still pulled up away from my face, and I still had my nose in a book.
"Uh, yeah," he stuttered, then laughed almost nervously. He was acting pretty awkward, nothing like the confident Jake I'd been best friends with for years. "I mean, you're funny, and um… easy to get along with?"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Easy to get along with? This coming from the guy I was about to murder when he initialed my oak tree?"
His nervous composure was finally gone as his body shook against mine with laughter. "Okay, so maybe not that easy." He snickered a bit more before there was silence and he cleared his throat. "Don't beat yourself up, kid. You're going to love it there. It's just a little change, but you'll grow into it just like you always do. Some day you're gonna look back and laugh at how concerned you were, because I know you're going to have a great time at junior high."
I sighed and looked up at my best friend and rock. "When'd you get so smart?"
His booming laugh shook me even harder. "Well, I thought I was smart already, but I guess hanging out with you has boosted my intellectual capabilities."
My smile was practically spread from ear-to-ear. "I'm glad I can teach you to use big words, and how to have deep, meaningful conversations."
Jake smiled back, but it was a small, almost sad one. "You've taught me a lot more than that, Bella. A lot more."
I never asked him what he meant by that, but my curiosity left me when he wrapped his arm around me even tighter. He turned his face into my hair and I could hear and feel him breathe in deeply, comforting himself just as he was comforting me.
Never again did I worry about change. Jake took all of my trouble away.
-ͽͼ-
There are times where life hits you so hard you're knocked down to your knees—a perfect position to pray to God or any other higher power. How ironic.
The worst are when it's unexpected, or you're inexperienced with dealing with the sorrow and grief accompanied to whatever hurdle you're going through. What's necessary is having something or someone to keep you grounded and to help you get through your pain, no matter what it takes.
For some it's memories, others it's people, and sometimes even their pets. For me, it was Jacob.
"Bella?" Jake answered groggily. It was late and I knew I'd woken him up, but when I tried to even say his name all that came out was a choked attempt. His voice was now much more awake and frantic. "Bella? What's wrong? Are you alright?"
"J-Jake," I stuttered, trying hopelessly to communicate with him, but couldn't control the wracking sobs that hit my body.
"Where are you?" he asked, and I could hear rustling in the background, imagining him getting dressed quickly.
"H-home."
"I'll be there in ten," he said before I heard the engine of his Rabbit in my ear. "Stay on the phone, okay? Just talk to me."
Even with his soothing voice, there was no way that I could stop my words from being a spluttering mess. Hell, I was a mess, and I needed my best friend to tell me that everything would be okay.
I heard the knock on my front door after only six minutes and threw my phone on the couch behind me. When the door opened, I launched myself into Jacob's comforting arms and sobbed violently. Jake's arms wrapped around me tightly as he picked me up and kicked the door closed before settling us both back on the couch.
It seemed like hours had passed, but Jake's grip never lessened. He held me while I cried and whispered calming words to me. I was sure my vice grip around his torso was uncomfortable, but Jake showed no discomfort whatsoever.
"They s-shot h-him," I whispered eventually, my throat painfully raw. "He's g-gone, Jake."
The papers the next day would mention how Chief Charlie Swan was called in to a rough situation the night before. Domestic abuse, they believed. A woman called in hysterics, pleading for someone to help her before her husband came home. He had told her that he'd come back to kill her and their three children, and she believed every word. Chief Swan, the admirable man he was, sent out a call to some of his officers, telling them that he would take care of it.
There was no way Chief Swan would let this man would hurt his poor wife and their children. They were innocents. They were undeserving of that kind of treatment.
Chief Swan knew he would get them out of there. He would do his job and save them from this madman. What Chief Swan didn't know was that the madman would come home earlier than any of them believed, and he wouldn't be alone.
As Chief Swan ushered the mother and children into a bedroom for safety, he pulled out his gun from its protective holster and prepared to take control of the situation.
The madman fired his rounds, but made no mark on the Chief. In his own self defense, Chief Swan shot one bullet that hit the criminal in his side, causing him to fall to the ground in pain. As usual, Chief Swan stuck to the plan and the plan worked.
All except for one step—he turned his back on the criminal.
As the Chief called out to the family, assuring them that it was safe, the madman reached out for his gun and fired his last shot. It hit the Chief right in his chest. With his last breaths, the Chief shot off his rounds and had his revenge.
Chief Charlie Swan was a savior and role model to all.
I had never been so proud of, or angry at my father. He should have asked for help, but he was so damn stubborn. His decisions left me without a father, and my mother without a husband.
Another twist in my life.
"I'm so sorry," Jake whispered gently, his voice cracking at the end. My dad had become his second father over the years, and I knew the pain I felt was similar to his. "I promise you, we'll get through this, kid. We always do."
I nodded as more tears fell down my cheeks and splattered onto his shirt. I didn't believe I would ever make it through my father's death, but Jake was right. Jake was always right.
"I love you, Bella," he said and my heart beat even faster in my chest. "You're my best friend, and you always will be. Whatever happens from now on, we'll go through it hand-in-hand. Nothing can stop us—we'll be invincible." He pulled back slightly and framed my cheeks with his hands, tilted my head up to look at him. "Promise me, Bella."
"I promise," I whispered back with no hesitation. "And I love you too. Thank you, for everything."
I assumed he meant for us to stay best friends forever. If I had known then what he was making me promise, I probably would never have agreed to it. Then again, Jake would try to coax me into it eventually, but not without a fight.
It would never be that easy.
-ͽͼ-
As years pass, life most certainly does too. Not only does your life change, but you do as well—personality wise and physically as well.
Puberty had changed my physique subtly, and while I had slight curves where every woman should, I still remained petite. I wasn't any gorgeous girl, but I thought I was too awkward to try and doll myself up. Then again, I didn't have anyone to doll myself up for.
That is, until my final year in high school when Edward Cullen moved to town.
I was so annoyed with my girlish sigh when I'd notice him in the parking lot. I had become such a girl since he'd entered my life, and I assumed that was why Jake was pulling away recently.
At first I thought it was just him having the flu that kept him away, but then it became excuse after excuse. It was as if he was pretending to be sick so that I wouldn't see him. He never came by the house anymore, and with my mom working to make ends meet, I was constantly alone.
My books remained my comfort. I could always rely on them.
I had called him the night before and he had finally picked up, but only to tell me that he didn't want to talk to me. My heart broke—Jake was my best friend and I had no idea how I would handle it if he wasn't in my life any longer. Hell, even when he infuriated me, I would never give him up. He was much more than that.
Jacob Black had practically become my life.
The third day in Biology brought another change—Edward Cullen was now in my class. He was also my lab partner, taking up the empty seat beside me. I gulped nervously when I realized that this would be the closest we'd ever be, but practically died when he smiled at me as he sat down.
"Hi Bella," he said softly, his voice the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. "I'm Edward Cullen."
I made a mental note to Google all shades of green when I got home and find his. They were speckled with gold and brown and oh, so captivating. It came along with the rest of the package—tousled, copper hair, chiseled jaw, straight nose, full lips, and a sexy crooked smile.
As I sat staring back at him, I started wondering why in the world he would be talking to me, of all people.
"Um, hi," I spluttered, wincing inwardly at our first awkward exchange and probably our last.
Biology went by quickly, almost too quickly. It was filled with light conversation and humorous jokes as we participated in our partner project. Things were easy with Edward, just like they were with Jacob.
Jacob picked up the phone that night when I called him yet again, and he immediately apologized for his behaviour.
"I haven't been… me, the last few days." His voice was full of sorrow and I couldn't help but feel for him. I wanted to head over to La Push and comfort him, but he quickly changed the topic into a lighter one.
"Edward, huh?" he asked. I could practically hear his smile over the phone and rolled my eyes. "What's he like?"
"You want to know what Edward's like?" I asked skeptically. "Seriously, you want to hear about my girl drama? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"
His laughter came through the phone and filled my ears. "Settle down, kid. I just want to help you."
"Help me what?"
"Duh," he droned. I imagined him rolling his eyes dramatically and smiled. "I'm gonna help you get your hooks into Edward."
"W-what?" I spluttered, my jaw practically falling to the ground. "I don't want to –"
Jacob scoffed and interrupted me swiftly. "Oh, yes you do. Leave it to me, I'll work it all out. I'll be at your place in the morning."
Before I could disagree or tell him to stop being such a cryptic moron, the line went dead. I stared at the phone for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not to call him back, but ended up choosing sleep instead.
The next morning when Jake came by, he still looked a little under the weather, but assured me that he was fine. If it weren't for his forced smile and sad eyes, I would have believed him. Jake knew better than to lie to me—I could read him better than anyone else.
We went upstairs to my bedroom where he helped me choose a cute outfit. As I questioned his sexuality, he rolled his eyes and told me I should know better. It was true, I knew better. When I finished changing in the bathroom and walked back into my bedroom, he grabbed my hand before it went towards my hair elastics.
I couldn't remember the last time I had gone without a hair elastic and my glasses, but I did remember my first. It was that day, and I walked confidently into Forks High, ignoring the stares and whispers from my fellow classmates. I wasn't the least bit self-conscious in Biology with Edward, and I happily agreed to his invitation to have lunch with him.
I also hugged Jake with every amount of strength I had when I came home that day, after accepting a date for the weekend with Edward.
Again, Jake had come to my rescue and helped me grow out of my shell. He stripped me of my walls and demolished my self-doubt, replacing it with pride and strong values.
I had no idea what I would've done without him.
-ͽͼ-
Sometimes bad things in life happen more often than good things.
Sometimes the things you live for suddenly disappear.
That's when life takes a turn for the worst and when you decide whether life is worth living or not.
Months passed and my relationship with Edward bloomed. He was a perfect gentleman. As early as it may have been, I truly believed I was falling in love with him. At first I was concerned that he would be uncomfortable with my close relationship with Jake. Imagine how shocked I was when they would playfully banter with one another and make plans to work on Jake's newest project.
Things were, without a doubt, almost perfect.
I was a fool though. A naïve child. Life could never be perfect, there was no such thing. That's why it hit me as hard as it did.
Jake's dad, Billy, called me one afternoon after I'd tried endlessly to get in touch with Jake, but only got his voicemail time after time. His voice was shaky and raspy. I was immediately worried. Our conversation was short, but he emphasized that I needed to go down to La Push, immediately.
I pushed my big truck to its limit, terrified of what I would see when I reached Jake's home.
Was Billy okay? Did someone get hurt? Did Jake hurt himself with one of his tools again?
Every scenario went through my head and I analyzed what I would do in each situation.
Again, I was a fool.
Billy opened the door with solemn, puffy red eyes. There were damp tear marks on his cheeks, and he silently directed me to Jake's room.
My knees gave way from underneath me when I saw an almost lifeless Jacob lying in his bed.
The strong, tough young man I loved and cherished had never looked so frail and helpless before me. His every breath was harsh as his chest rose and fell, echoing along the walls of his small bedroom. When he heard me gasp, his head turned slowly in my direction and a smile very slowly etched his face.
"Hey kid." His voice was so small and raspy. My tears had given way and a broken sob left my lips. "Come on, now. Don't be like that."
It looked hard for him to talk. I was scared that if I touched him the wrong way, or did something, I would make it worse. I was afraid of Jake, and that never happened. He was supposed to be my rock, the one that helped me through it all. I never knew how to comfort him. I just knew how to be with him.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and did just that. I sat on the ground in front of him and watched as a sole tear fell from the corner of his eye.
"You're probably going to want to kick my ass right now," he laughed hoarsely. I bit my lip to hold back my sob. I had to stay strong for him. "But you need to know. I'm dying, Bella."
I shook my head frantically as tears fell down my face. He was wrong. He was my Jake, and he said we were invincible. He would never leave me.
"It's true," he whispered somberly. "Back when we were kids, I was diagnosed with this condition that had a name I couldn't even pronounce. I'm not smart enough for that."
I knew he was joking to lighten the mood, but there was nothing that could lift my spirits. I fought against my thoughts, but they fought back just as hard.
I'm losing him.
"I made it farther than the doctors thought, kid. You'd be so proud of me, I beat their statistics," he said somewhat happily and I couldn't do anything to lift my lips into a pleased smile. "The last few months were the worst of it, but it's almost over now. I can feel it."
"Jake, please don't leave me," I cried, reaching out and gently cradling his large hand in mine.
He smiled sadly. "I'll never leave you, kid. You should know that by now. I thought everything I was doing would make this easier though."
"I don't understand," I replied as my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"Of course you don't, that was the plan," he said, the smirk leaving his face as it crumbled. "When I told you I loved you, Bella, I meant it. You're everything to me, and I'm so hopelessly in love with you that it hurts." I gasped in shock as he continued. "But it would be so selfish of me to build something with you when my life was limited. I could never hurt you like that—I would never hurt you, Bells. That first day I saw you sitting under our oak tree, there was something intriguing about you, and I couldn't keep away. I still can't, but life doesn't always work in our favour, kid. I knew I couldn't change my own fate, but I wanted to help with yours.
"You've grown up to be this beautiful, kind, honest, and amazing woman, and though it broke my heart to see you interested in someone else, I could never keep you from that. I've done whatever was in my power to make you happy over the years. I thought my life was over when I was diagnosed, but I was wrong, Bella. You became my life."
I was sobbing uncontrollably now, gasping for air but couldn't take my eyes off of Jake's as they glistened with unshed tears.
"I practically lived for you, and I would never regret what I've done. Everything that I've done was for you, and I'm so proud of you, Bella. You have this beautiful future, waiting for you right at your fingertips," he said as another tear fell down his cheek. He let out a shaky breath and stared firmly at me. "Promise me, Bella."
I knew now what the promise was.
My promise to live. To let him go in peace. To not let his death be in vain. To make the most of my life.
I promised it all.
"I promise," I whispered. My tears had lessened as a sudden sense of peace filled me, and I watched as Jake's eyes closed sleepily before he opened them once more.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you with every ounce of my soul. Thank you for giving me a reason to live. Thank you for being my life. Thank you for loving me."
Placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, I watched as he sighed happily and his eyes drifted closed with a gentle smile on his face.
His eyes never opened.
-ͽͼ-
Life works in strange ways.
There are times where you feel that things couldn't be any worse, then moments later believe you've never been happier. There are twists and turns, ups and downs, spins and whirls. Life continuously hands us the unexpected, and we've grown accustomed to it. Nothing is set in stone, and no one can control fate. We give in to destiny and await life's instructions.
However, many people like to choose their own destiny.
Others, like my best friend Jake, were put on this Earth to change the destiny of others'.
Jake changed mine.
"Momma, momma!" I was drifted out of my thoughts as the high-pitched voice squealed in my ear, the body it came from bouncing into my lap. I looked down to see beautiful brown eyes looking back up at me.
"Yes, baby?" I pushed back his tousled, copper locks from his face. Day by day he grew to look more and more like his father.
"Will you read me my story?" he pleaded with an adorable pout, and I couldn't help but giggle. As soon as I nodded, he jumped from my lap and ran into his bed. Immediately settling into his regular bedtime position, he snuggled into his sheets and waited anxiously for me.
I hopped in beside him, tickling him as he writhed and laughed underneath me before nestling into his side. I cleared my throat and began to recite him his nightly bedtime story.
"Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Jacob."
"Momma! That's my name!" he whispered in surprise, and I chuckled at his usual amazed response when I would begin his story.
"It sure is, kiddo," I said, winking and tapping his nose with my finger. My son giggled and nuzzled further into me, wordlessly requesting me to continue.
"Jacob was different, but in the very best way. He was friendly, caring, and had the biggest heart anyone had ever seen…"
