1. Lenalee lee remembered the first time she met Allen Walker. She remembered her amazement as she watched, through the cameras, how he climbed the cliff with his bare hands. She had questioned his actions, of course just like anyone else. Why did he climb the cliff instead of using the underground entrance?
After officially meeting him face-to-face, Lenalee Lee learned of Allen Walker's polite ways and his striking features. He is hard to forget, with his white hair and the red scar across his left eye and all.
2. Lenalee Lee remembered the first time she went on a mission with Allen Walker. She remembered that he is hopeless with directions, managing to get them lost for three hours straight before even the start of the mission; she had been foolish for giving him the lead. Frustrated, she took the reins as the guide and successfully got them to their appointed destination.
It was on this mission where she had learned of his utter devotion of saving all akuma. Going as far to try to rescue a self-destructing akuma even though it was a hopeless case. She slapped him for the first time. Yelling out to him how he shouldn't throw away his life like that.
It was on this mission she began to worry of his fate.
3. Lenalee Lee remembered how for the first time ever, there was somebody else in her nightmare. She remembered sitting in her usual position. She remembered not being able to talk and hear anything, before she saw a reflection in the waters below.
–Black uniform. Silver linings. Rose Cross. White gloves. White hair––
She screamed. And no sound came out.
4. She remembered suffocating. She remembered the heavy pressure on her body. She remembered choking.
She was drowning.
and she can't get out, oh she can't, she can't, she can't.
She remembered hitting the sea floor and the image of his face flashed in her mind's eye.
(Allen-kun, Allen-kun, Allen-kun. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Where are you, Where are you Allen –)
She remembered a bright flash that engulfed her.
5. She was burning. She's burning, she is burning.
(Itburnsitburnsitburnsitburns)
But she kept going. She had to kill it, have to, had to.
For him.
(Watch me Allen-kun, watch me. I'll be there soon; I'll be with you soon. Can you see me now Allen-kun?)
And it broke apart –
(finally)
– and she fell to the ocean.
(Allen-kun, I'm almost there.)
6. Lenalee Lee remembered the warmth of his protection in that horrid place. Allen Walker had –
(You're alive, you're alive, you're alive, you're alive!)
– saved her from those monster that was eating away her flesh.
She remembered cupping his face with her hand afterwards. Feeling his smooth face and his soft hair. He smiled at her, the twist in her stomach was gone instantly, and let out a tear. Just like her.
7. She remembered how he took so many damages to his body. She remembered watching him get beaten into a bloody pulp.
For her.
It broke apart her heart to see him protecting her so hard, to see him so determined that she doesn't get hurt, doesn't get killed.
She screamed in her head at her weapons on her feet. Screaming at them to work, to activate, so that she could help, so that she could save him.
She does not want to lose him again.
8. Lenalee Lee remembered the painful twist in her stomach and the feel of suffocating pressure on her heart. She saw him, sleeping on his bed with Timcanpy by his side, covered with numerous bandages.
But what made her suffocate is the long, vicious, jagged scar on his right side.
She remembered feeling lightheaded and an urge to vomit. But she didn't. Instead she staggered to the other bed in his room and sat down. Before long, she too fell asleep.
But she remembered him waking up as different person. With cold, dead eyes that stared blankly at the wall as he sat up. She remembered calling out to him and then he is back. The Allen she knows.
She does not tell him what she saw.
9. Lenalee Lee feels that same suffocating feeling in her heart again. She had just come back from her mission –
(Why, why is this happening? Why is this happening to you?)
– to learn that Allen Walker had been thrown into prison.
(Why, why, why, why? What did he do, what did he do. Allen-kun)
She remembered that same useless feeling again, just like before, when she knows that this time, she cannot help him.
and it pains her terribly. and it broke her heart all over again.
(Allen-kun)
10. She remembered, vividly, that night. That painful night.
When Allen Walker left.
(No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no)
Allen Walker hugged her that night. Saying how he loves her –
[Her heart beats so quickly, that night. Pounding in her ribcage, she wondered if he too can feel it.]
–and everybody else in the order –
[She remembered the deflated, sinking feeling in her heart. Disappointment]
–Because the order is his home and they were all a part of family.
She remembered him giving her shoulder a last reassuring squeeze. Something that she is sure that she won't be able to feel again for some time. And she remembered him smiling at her as he disappeared into the glowing door of the ark.
She remembered the blurry image of him smiling because her eyes are full of tears. She remembered the door crumbling away as she cried, clutching her head desperately.
(no, no, no, no. No, Allen-kun. Come back, come back, come back to me. Come back to me!)
The girl sat on the chair silently. Cupping her hands around a warm mug of hot chocolate, she looked out the window.
She still remembers, she still remembers him.
She believes that he will come back, to his home, to his family. To her.
and she is still waiting, waiting for him.
"Allen-kun..."
His name slipped past her lips so easily, so fluently, so beautifully.
She loved his name. Something about his name spoke of warmth, protection, kindness, of everything about him.
She loved his white hair, she loved his gray eyes, she loved his face, his smile, his laugh, his talk, his antics, even his love for food.
She loved everything and anything that is him.
She misses him terribly. The order felt strangely insecure to her without him here. Even though that is a foolish thought, the order is bustling with more activity and incredibly heightened security. And yet, she felt unsafe if he's not here, with her. She still has her brother, who is always claiming that he will protect her, and she knows that he will, but yet… It's not complete without him.
She smiled gently, sipping her hot cocoa. She will bear with it for now. She'll bear this loneliness and longing as long as she can. Because she believes, with all her heart, that he will come back to her.
"I love you Allen."
Fin.
