Disclaimer: All the lovely characters in this story belong to Stephanie Myers. I am borrowing them for my entertainment, and of course yours.
"I learned in Biology every 35 days your skin replaces itself," I said the lines for the first time out load. Emmett only glanced my way pulling his eyebrows together. The scene in front of me reminded me of something you would see in a movie – everyone was dressed in black, everyone was sporting the same red puffy eyes, and there was even the man drinking his sorrows away. Whiskey, the man was drinking whiskey. It was his favorite. Emmett handed me a glass of wine, even though I technically wasn't old enough to drink. No one would question why the 15-year-old teenager who wore a little too much eye makeup for her age was drinking. Not today. Today was a good excuse to get smashed.
"Who cares what you learned in Biology, Bells?" Emmett asked soothingly. I shouldn't have been talking about Biology class, at least, not in some calm civil manner. A funeral is a place to talk about those you have lost. My mother always hated funerals, and said she wanted people to celebrate her life when her time came. But, then again, funerals are not for the dead. They're for the living. At least, that's what I have decided.
I took a deep breath placing the sunglasses over my eyes. A room full of people who claimed to love her, claimed to be her friend, claimed they would never fall out of touch, hadn't actually spoken to her in years. Most of them were just people she once called friends who vanished into thin air. Like they say they only care if you're pretty, dying, or dead. I made my way to the podium knowing that it was time. We were having the service in my mother's church. I say her church because she'd decided Emmett and I could decide if we wanted to attend church or not. She said 14 were a good age to start making some of our own decisions. Emmett stopped going years ago; I stopped going 6 months ago. Everyone in the room fell silent, al eyes locked on me. Charlie even stopped drinking long enough to look up at me.
"I learned in Biology class a few months ago that every 35 days your skin replaces itself," everyone in the room gave me the same look everyone else did. I set down the speech in front of me. "I mean, I learned a lot of other things, but this is something that stuck with me. In 23 days my mothers fingertips will have never traced over my arm. So, technically speaking, in 23 days my skin will be forever untouched by Renée Swan. However, my mother will always have a place in my heart." I heard a few sobs from the girls in the back of the room. "I've been asked to chose a memory and share it with all of you today. Through the tears shed into my pillow and the sleepless nights there was always one memory that stuck out to me, that's the memory I am going to share with you today." I looked around the room making sure I'd gotten everyone's undivided attention. Emmett's eyes were trained on mine, he was staring at me as if he expected me to collapse under the pressure.
"When I was 14 I had developed my first real crush," I paused for a moment a smile tracing over my lips. "Jacob Black, the man I'd decided I was going to spend the rest of my life with." I motioned to the boy in the old beat up tux. "Lucky for me, Jake returned my feelings. Now, I obviously needed some advice on this subject. Talking to my over protective, brother was a no go. Talking to my father, who had claimed I wasn't allowed to date until I was 30 was a no go. The only person left was Renée – compassionate, understanding Renée. I went to her and asked her what being in love was like. She was in the kitchen making some kind of new dinner experiment that probably wasn't edible, she looked up at me her blue eyes held my gaze until she finally shook her head and she said 'Sweetheart, you aren't going to have to ask what love feels like when you're actually in love. You'll just feel it. However, I'll do my best to explain love to you: Sometimes falling in love is so gradual you're not even sure of it until you're heads over heels in love. Then, there are the times you fall in love the way you fall off a cliff, one step forward and suddenly you're hurtling through space in this crazy frenzy of emotions. Most of the time, it's kind of a mixture of the two." I took a deep breath. "Over the years, she had given me advice on everything I could ask for. But that is a lesson that will be passed down to my children, because I cannot think of a better way to describe the feeling." I took a deep breath only now noticing that I was uncontrollably sobbing. Emmett's strong hands gripped my small frame.
"In 23 days, my skin will be forever untouched by Renée Swan, but those words will forever repeat in my head." Emmett finished my speech for me holding most of my weight as he dragged me outside of the church so I could compose myself.
A/N: The Cracks Begin To Show is the original copy of this. However, I have decided to rewrite the story and finish it. I think the story line was lacking, and there were things I think I could have done better. I have rewritten it entirely. Some major things have changed and if you read the original copy I'm sure you are going to like this version 100 times better.
Also, for those of you I pissed off - for lack of a better word - about my disappearance from this story, I do apologize. I realize that many of you have probably moved on from this story. For some reason I haven't. So, let me know what you think of this with a review. Follow it, favorite it. Let's see what kind of damage we can do!
I look forward to sharing my improved work with all of you.
