I know I have two other stories going but this has been in my head a few days and I had to write it. I will update the others when I get more ideas on them; hopefully getting the start of this out of my head will help. This story was inspired by Missy Higgins song Where I stood.

It was Friday night and Ziva and the team had had a tough week, a big case but they caught the basted this afternoon that killed and raped four navel woman. Now Ziva sat on Tony's couch as he got the second round of beers for them, they were part way through a movie which they had put on after they had pizza for dinner. Tony returned and took his seat next to Ziva as he gave her a new beer. He took a swig of his and lent back on the couch. They hadn't done this in a while and they had only begun to start doing it again, it was good, Ziva wasn't lonely in her apartment on a Friday night. Tony was explaining something about the movie but Ziva wasn't paying much attention, she was paying more attention to how he was moving closer to her as the night went on, it was really getting to her how close he was getting she had to control the erg to jump him with the way his musky colon mixed with the intoxicating sent of him was being masked over her, and the way his lips looked so kissable… she had to stop thinking these thoughts before she lost it.

"Ziva are you even listening to me?" she shook her head and snapped out of her thoughts and focused on him when he said her name

"Huh? You were saying something about the movie" he smiled, she so wasn't listening to him, maybe he began to ramble on a bit to much

"No I was asking if you wanted another beer, you've finished yours" she held up her empty bottle and looked at it, when had she drunk that? She handed it to him

"Yeah ok" he took her empty bottle with his and went and got the third round. As he sat down next to her this time he sat shoulder to shoulder touching his body to the length of hers. She took the bottle from his hand and their fingers brushed against each other, he looked at her and she looked at him, the movie totally forgotten by the both of them.

They each took a swig of their beer and then focused on each other, for some reason they just sat their looking and some thing was beginning to overwhelm them. Ziva began thinking back to her earlier thoughts at the closeness of him to her. Tony was thinking much the same and he thought to himself about if he should risk making a move, he wanted to be with her and commit to her he had known that for a long time now. Tony put his beer on the coffee table after taking another drink and she watched and copied his actions, now they sat facing each other. Ziva had a feeling of what was about to happen as Tony slowly leaned forward and he watched her face intently, they had been avoiding this for a very very long time and they both needed this. Ziva had strong feelings for Tony that she had known of ever since the Jeanne fiasco and she had wanted him for a long time, to be with him. Tony's feelings mirrored Ziva's he wanted her to be more than a simple one night stand and he knew if she didn't stop him from acting on it she did too because they both knew the risk for this was high and they would not go ahead and simply sleep together for the sake of their partnership, so when his lips touched hers and she kissed back it was a silent agreement that they would try this together, them being together.

As she kissed him back his hands found their way to the side of her head, she knew he liked to do that so he could deepen the kiss, she had remembered that from when they first kissed undercover. Her hands went to press against his chest pushing him back into the couch as she lifted herself onto his lap straddling him. The kiss began to become really heated; their tongues entwined both battling for dominance. As his hands ran from her neck down over her shoulders and down her back to rest on her waist just above the hem of her shirt she pushed herself closer to him, wanting to feel him against her core.

She could feel him through his work slacks pressing into her against her jeans, and the way she was pushing against him he needed to feel more of her skin. He broke the kiss as he grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head tossing it across the floor, his hands went straight to her newly exposed skin grabbing at the sides of her waist just above her hips. He latched his lips back to hers, devouring her in a passionate kiss. Her fingers went to work on his buttons on his shirt; making quick work of them she pushed it off his shoulders. His hands moved up and feathery cupped her through her bra, when she reached behind her and removed the latch of her bra his hands removed the garment and when his hands went back to her breasts they were not light they were firm and pleasing as he played with her.

He removed his mouth from hers and brought it down to her breast where he took her in his hot mouth, she moaned and her lips went to his shoulder where she kissed him. After toying with her in his mouth he drifted his hands south to the front of her jeans, her unbuttoned her. He was not going to get these jeans off her with her straddling him like this so he abruptly stood picking her up, she stood on her feet in front of him as he pulled her jeans off her, as he did she unlatched his belt and dropped his slacks to the ground. As he removed her jeans he pulled her panties off as well and as she reached to remove his boxers he caught her lips in his distracting her and he span them round and dropped her onto the couch. She watched him as he dropped to his knees in front of her on the couch.

He smiled at her before he leant forward and stole her lips with his, as he did he ran his hand from her knee and up her thigh. She shivered at the contact and she gasped as he pushed one of his fingers inside of her. His lips found their way to her neck where he licked and kissed her. He could hear her panted breaths as he entered a second finger inside of her, he stroked them in and out and she moaned when he hooked his fingers inside of her. She racked her fingers up his back as he pushed his thumb against her bundle of nerves, it was going to surely going to leave marks but he didn't care he was to aroused to feel it.

He removed his fingers as he felt her tighten around his fingers; he brought his mouth back to hers. As he kissed her she shifted forward on his couch and slipped her hand down into his boxers, he almost died at the feel of her hand clamping around him. He lost all focus in the kiss when she began to stroke him; his mouth went back to her neck. His mouth softly bit down on her neck as she fastened her hand, and he soothed the marks with his tongue after he did. He could feel himself getting to his high and he grabbed her hand with his to stop her before he got wasted.

Her smirk at him was the biggest smile of overpowering defeat she had seen her give him, she was always trying to out do him and she just had. They both stood without a word and they stumbled towards his bedroom in the dark with the only light of the TV gone as they entered the hallway. Ziva suddenly pushed him up against the wall and Tony could feel the smirk on her face as she went down onto her knees. He felt her remove his boxers and then he felt her soft lips clasp around him as she took him in her mouth.

He lent his head back against the wall; this was the best head he had ever had before, the way her lips and tongue would move around him. He thought he was ready to explode when her hand that wasn't working the base of his erection came up to play with his balls. He moaned and tried to form an understandable sentence

"Zee…Vah…you …have…to …stop" she did as soon as the words left his mouth and she was back face to face with him in a second

"Did you not enjoy that?" she said in a sultry voice. He could just see the smile on her face; he took a few breaths to form a sentence

"Yes I did…very much but…your killing me when you do that…and I want to come inside you" she pushed herself fully against him, rubbing herself against on him

"I like the sound of that" and she took off down his dark hallway to his bedroom. He followed straight after her, but on his way down the hallway he smacked his face where his eyebrow was on something and it hurt

"Fuck" he continued down the hallway forgetting about it when he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed giving him a look like she wanted to eat him. He approached her

"How did you not see the shelf in your hallway Tony?" he smiled as he took her lips in his

"Because it was dark and I don't have ninja night vision like you"

He pushed her up his bed as he kissed her; she spread her legs open for him as he came in between them. He lent back and looked at her as he pushed himself into her, she moaned his name, and he formed some unrecognisable grunt. He pulled back and then pounded back into her, she brought her mouth to his shoulder and as he pounded in again she bit down hard in pleasure, if he could see his face he properly would have seen his eyes roll back into their sockets it felt that good. He fastened his pace and she arched into him pushing against him. When his hand went to her bundle of nerves and pushed down she sunk her teeth higher up into where his neck joined his shoulder, she was ruff and he was pretty sure he was going to have a stroke as it was so good. His hands went to her hips and gripped them tight with the same roughness and he pounded as fast and hard as he could and she broke apart and came gripping around him, he came as soon as she did.

As they came down from their high she snuggled into him. They moved under the covers of his bed and snuggled up together

"Ziva?" she ran her finger over his chest

"Yes Tony" he ran his hand through her hair

"I don't want anyone else Ziva" she looked up into his eyes

"Neither do I"

"I want to be with you forever…I love you" Ziva was surprised at these feelings but the words formed in her mouth and came out

"I love you too" he kissed her softly and pulled her close. He drifted to sleep but Ziva had thoughts on her mind.

How could she say she loved him, she wasn't even sure if she did, yeah she did but she wasn't ready and she couldn't have not said it. Here he is giving her all his love, she doesn't deserve him and he deserves better than her she can't even tell if she is ready to love him. She has never been one who loves so she is not sure she should do this to him, bring him down with her she isn't worth it to him and he must know. He should have someone who can love him and not strain his heart or break his heart he deserves that. She will break his heart for the last time if they do this and she can't believe she didn't think this before doing what they just did, she will have to let him go so he is out of her harmful way, she cares too much to hurt him with her weakness and dark past. And she does not want to wreck their partnership if she hasn't already so she will let him go so he can have a proper woman who will love him and he will love her, he can have a happy life and not be torn apart by someone who is lost in themselves like she is, he deserves love and she doesn't think she can give that to him because she is damaged goods.

Ok this story is not going to be a full happy romance like I normally do because in real life times cannot be fairytales for everything so this will be about the heart break and love that these two have to realise and as they try move on things don't seem that easy. Please review… Hundan