Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyers does.

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Edwards Point of View

I may be a vampire but I am certainly not immune to human instincts and vampire or not I know it's never good when a woman says "we need to talk". I groaned aloud when I heard Bella speak those ominous words. If I could read her mind this situation wouldn't be so terrible for me, but she was intentionally being obtuse. Even now as I watch her pace around her tiny room I can sense her anxiety, it's like a suffocating blanket of dust. To say that I'm nervous would be an understatement, I'm scared shitless. Usually Bella fumbles with her words and gets to the point and we manage to come to some sort of comprise, which of course is never enough for her and she's become aware of that fact that most often than not I am placating her. Right now that's not happening she's not talking, she's pacing and it's driving me to the brink of insanity.

"Bella can you please sit down I don't know how much longer I can take this!" I raised my voice slightly louder than I had intended and quickly had to focus my thoughts to ensure Charlie was still asleep. With a softer more pleading tone I continue "please Bella tell me what you wanted to talk about".

She's eyeing me carefully; I can only assume she's trying to gauge my mood. She's looking into my eyes and barrelling into my non existent soul and I know she means for me to take this seriously. I will do my best as always to see things from her view point, she just has no sense of self preservation and it makes things painfully hard when it comes to compromising with her.

She's biting her lip and I find myself needing to stifle a moan, I used to find this an extremely endearing human habit of hers…now its just plain erotic and I often find myself distracted beyond words when her tiny white teeth dig into the supple flesh. I so badly wish that I could do that to her, but no doubt my teeth would bite clean through her beautiful lip and well that would be beneficial to no one. I can tell she's ready to talk so I brace myself for whatever my Bella is going to throw at me.

"Edward…well…the thing is…I'm just concerned, about you-" I was about to cut her off and tell her I was fine but she places a single deliciously warm finger on my lips urging me to keep quiet. "Please Edward just let me finish before you say anything okay?" I nodded in compliance.

"Edward I'm just concerned about you and me and us being physical. I know you said you would agree to try on our wedding to be well more intimate with me but I don't understand what about that is supposed to make it any easier for you. Just because we're married doesn't mean that you're going to magically gain some sort of super control of your strength and not kill me! And I know you say it's about protecting my virtue and yours and all that stuff, but I can sense how worried you are about hurting me. It pains me to know how hard this is for you, how scared you are and I need you to feel more at ease, I need you to know you're not going to crush me to death! I need you to know what I know; I need you to know that you can be with me in every way possible.

I'm getting to the point just hold on. Edward I think we should practice…oh god that sounds so horrible I know but, you need to get used to my body! You need to know how hard to touch me or how softly, you need to be able to know moans of pleasure from ones of discomfort. I'm not saying I want to you know go all the way before we're married, because I agreed to wait… but I just really think that it would be a really good idea if you could at least try now to get used to being closer to each other so that I even stand a chance of having you hold up on your end of this compromise!"

The last words were so rushed that if I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't have been able to make them out. I'm stunned. I can tell how much she thought about all of this and the amount of courage and effort she put into it is making me feel guilty about wanting to immediately dismiss her idea…so I don't.

"Bella give me a minute, please love?" I can sense her unease "darling I'm not saying no I just need a minute to process things logically" she immediately seems more at ease at the prospect of me not throwing the idea off the table.

My thoughts are racing. Bella has a point there really isn't much sense trying to refute that. I just don't think she understands how truly horrified I am of hurting her. I've explained time and time again but, she's right. Of course she's right you idiot, she's your Bella after all, she is brilliant my inner voice chides me for even acting the least bit surprised. I can't believe I am about to agree to something so reckless so absurd! If something goes wrong…no, nothing will go wrong. Bella has the utmost faith in me and I will never let her down. For Bella my internal thought process must make it seem like an eternity has passed when in reality it's only been seconds. I can see her shifting uncomfortably on her feet as I peer up and look at her beneath my lashes. She's brilliant and she's mine.

"Alright" it comes out as a drawn out sigh "you win, I can't argue with such logic" I smile up at her

"I will try and practice as you put it. But you must tell me when I am hurting you Bella, even in the slightest. You know the hatred I would feel for myself if I ever intentionally injured you my love."

She's smiling my favourite smile and she warms my lifeless heart instantly. I can see all the emotions cross her face, excitement, happiness, anticipation, anxiety, but mostly I can see her love and her unyielding faith that I know I am most certainly not worthy of.

"Edward are you being serious? You can't say this and then become all moody and melodramatic and suddenly change your mind. I'm serious about this. We need this." she has her hands on her hips trying to be assertive but I can tells she is going crazy with excitement at my compliance.

"Yes Bella I'm serious, but you must tell me if things ever get painful for y-" before I can even finish my sentence she's straddling me on her bed, her knees on either side of my legs and she's kissing me everywhere, not just out of passion and love, but out of thanks. I of course being the gentlemen I am would never deny a kiss from my betrothed, so I kiss her back gently but she will have none of that and she wraps her delicate little hands in my hair and pulls me to her with urgency. I pull back an inch so I can speak.

"You want to start now? We barely finished having the conversation" I chuckle at her eagerness

"No better time than the present"

she pulls me back to her and crushes her lips against mine and for a moment I have has much faith in myself as she does.

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I know its long, i tend to over write, i can't help it i get way to into descriptions. It's my first fan fic so if youre going to review or offer a crit please try and be a little gentle =) I'm an artist so im used to having people critique my art...but not stuff i write, this is new to me, im going to write my very first lemon next! im excited. i hope you all like this, and im sorry if you dont /shrugs. lots more angst and lemons to come as well as all around good times! i read it over a bunch, but its 335 am and im sleepy so i hope i didnt miss any silly errors..though im sure i did .

-Kaitlyn