"Reverend Behemial."
"Yes, that is I. Your powers of observation never fail to amaze me."
"Oh, shut up. Reverend Behemial. Quite a mouthful, eh?"
"In fact, in its entirety, it is Reverend Behemial Far-Traveler."
A snort.
"Well, not all of us are gifted with short names, my friend, and it is the tradition of the Wayists."
"Hey, my name ain't no gift. I got sick of the length and trimmed off all the garbage all by myself, ages ago."
"Oh? And may I ask what your full name is, then?"
"No."
"My friend, surely you would not bring up an example if you did not intend to explain it."
"Fine."
A pause.
"I have a very long attention span, you know. Both Wayists and Magogs can easily outwait salvagers and humans."
A mutter.
"Speak up, my friend!"
"Fine. Vexamillian Xurpag."
A snort. "The truth, if you please."
"Who says it isn't?"
"Vex, my friend, I know you well enough by now."
"Fine. Vexamon Pagaea."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Indignant tone.
"I was under the impression that 'Vexpag' was one word, you know. A first name, and you chose not to reveal your last for, mm, security purposes."
"I let people think that." A pause. "Don't tell anyone else, okay?"
"Are you ashamed of it, then?"
"Why do you think I've spent my whole life as 'Vex Pag,' you ball of fur? I mean, 'Reverend Behemial Far-Traveler'?"
"No matter how often immature transport crewmembers may mock me for it ,I am not ashamed of my—admittedly cumbrous—name."
A dawning idea. "Hey, maybe you could just try a nickname."
"I would prefer not to, my friend." (a hint of amusement.)
"Don't knock it 'til you try it, bub."
"Wayists do not knock anything, it is somewhat against our vows."
"Harper teach you that one?"
"Not so much 'teach' as 'use in my presence.'"
"I bet he doesn't like using such a long name for you either, you know."
"He does tend to stick to 'Reverend,' my equivalent, I imagine, of Beka's 'boss.'"
"Rev Beh."
"Excuse me?"
"Vex Pag. Rev Beh."
"'Beh'? Should I feel insulted?"
"Beh. Beh. Beh."
"Please spare me."
"Okay, Rev Beh."
"You, my friend, are drunk."
"Okay, fine. Rev Behemial… Rev Beh… Rev Bem… Rev Bel…."
"'Rev Bel' is not much better. Do you make a habit of antagonizing Magog?"
"Rev Bem ain't so bad, is it?"
"No, I suppose it is not."
"Rev Bem it is!"
"Now, I am not entirely sure that—"
But an timely (for Vex Pag) entrance sealed his fate.
"Harper! Meet Rev Bem!"
"Rev Bem?"
"Yes, Rev Bem!"
"You agreed to this?!"
"Well, I—"
"Wait, why am I asking? I like it! It's… snazzy. Slick. I can just see it in neon at the grand opening of Abar Drift's Annual Inter-Galactic Comic Convention, 'New Releases' showroom. 'Extra! Extra! A new and thrilling—if rather hairy—superhero! The—'"
"Harper."
"—'The name's Bem. Rev Bem'. Rev Bem strikes back. The return of—"
Rev Bem turned to Vex Pag, a silent plea for help, and the other man spoke up.
"Hey, kid, how about you join the club? Let's see, Seamus Harper. Shea—"
"Uh, no."
"You know, Vex, 'Seamus Harper' is rather hard to work with. May I suggest new source material? Perhaps… 'Zelazny'?"
"NO! Leave me out of this!" The young engineer turned and fled the kitchen with a cola in his hand. "Hey Beka--!"
The men chuckled.
"You know he'll never call you anything else now, Rev."
"I know." A melodramatic sigh. "But I suppose that I can live with that."
"Good."
"I may still have to tell the others your full name, though."
"Fine with me. I made all that up anyway."
Sigh. "And you wonder why I never trust you."
"Hey, it all worked out for the best, Rev Bem."
