There was rubble, dust and the smell of burning flesh in the air. It snaked into Kai's lungs, the serpent choking at his throat and laying eggs of thick poisonous gas that infected his very soul in each of his alveoli. It was the scent of the end of an era. The scent of his hand his father's hard work and research being reduced to nothing in a poisonous inferno and all Kai could do was gag and cover his face.
His father laughed at that and Kai glared at him with a hate he didn't know he had. There he was, steely eyed to the end and vanishing in a sea of flames. He was the captain going down with his figurative ship. Not screaming or clambering for life but just dying slowly without feeling. He was numb to everything but his own goddamn mind.
'Not even sad to possibly seen his son die before him,' Kai thought with a bitter laugh.
He recalled Hashiba and Fujimori running to their freedom together and recalled the very image of love. His heart pulled in their direction and Kai turned his back to his father, calculating quickly. He measured the rough speed of the flames, the flammability of the building and the substances on the floor added to that, the gap between the two approaching walls of fire and his own speed.
He would make it if he moved…now.
His legs carried him down the path, hearing his father laugh coldly behind him,
"You'll never make it," he sneered. "Kai-chan!"
That vile use of a pet name in mocking spurred Kai on even more. He pushed himself, gritting his teeth and he could see the exit as well as the fire closing in on him. Such ice in the presence of all this fire, no wonder his father was so unaffected. The door was left ajar and with all the hate he had discovered for his damn father bubbling in his heart that had been pressed down, he used the pressure to leap out of the door and…
Almost completely made it.
His leg was caught in the flame and he screamed in a way he hadn't since he was an infant. He ripped off his shirt to pat out the flame but the pain was still unbearable, searing through his flesh those burns may never heel, he thought with a flicker of sadness. Then determination took over as he realised he was alive.
"I-I want to live…" he panted, eyes wild with realisation of his new found purpose. "I want to…to love!"
He wanted to go on into the world to correct his mistakes and his father's one by one slowly and surely. He would start by not following in his father's sub-zero footsteps and open his heart further than just to science. He would open his heart to those he cared about.
Kai tried to stand up but the pain in his leg caught him off guard and he wobbled, falling to his knees. The hospital Sora was resting in wasn't very far from the research lab. He was sure no one would want to see him there.
Except Ichikawa.
That stupid, childish, loud…cute, loveable boy who followed him around the school laboratory always saying his little voice,
'Ne, Nagase-bouchou, you're really a genius, huh?'
The corners of his mouth twitched into a fond smile. Maybe if things were different he and Ichikawa could have been together…maybe? He was annoying but so kind and attentive. Plus he was so intelligent and didn't know it at all. He gave all the credit to Kai, calling him a genius.
'Ha, some genius I am,' he thought, again bitterly. 'I'm nothing but a cold shell with a few large brain cells. A mere shadow of an existence.'
Kai saw love everywhere now he thought about it. He saw it between Hashiba and Fujimori, Hanami and Minato…the little boy Sei and his love for Hashiba…
Secretly he craved the love of another in the depths of his absolute zero heart. He imposed his coldness on the world around him, like a flood of liquid nitrogen drowning the world in an icy sea. There was, however, warmth in Ichikawa. In his eyes whenever he saw Kai there was a love so tender and so beautiful, burning brilliantly in his heart like magnesium and oxygen and Kai failed to feel or see even a glimmer of it. He was too wrapped up in the will of his father.
He looked to the road ahead and pushed his way towards the hospital on his knees. He was not going to give up now or ever. He wanted to feel that warmth, even fleetingly. His heart was pushing for it, wanting to envelop it.
"Matte te-kudasai," Kai said weakly. "I-Ichikawa…"
XxX
"you guys go ahead. I want to sit here a little while longer," Ichikawa smiled weakly at the group.
"Are you sure, Ichikawa?" Honjou-senpai asked. Everyone looked concerned since Ichikawa was too tired to hide his tears but Ichikawa wanted to be left alone to think. The one man he loved most in the world was most likely dead, after all. It felt like his entire world was falling apart because; bad man or not, Nagase-bouchou was the love of his life. He pulled a forced smile and said to everyone,
"Arigato bosaimus, everyone. Shinpai wa iranai! I just want to think a little bit more but I swear I'll follow you soon and if I get lost I'll call you."
"…Okay, Ichikawa-san," Honjou-senpai said reluctantly and turned to walk away with everyone else. "Oyasumi nasai."
"Oyasumi Honjou senpai, everyone," Ichikawa nodded and curled up into a ball on the steps outside of the hospital. He intended to sit until his body was as numb as his heart outside on the cold steps.
"He saved us," Fujimori-kin called before they left and Ichikawa raised his head a little bit. "If it hadn't been for Nagase-san we would have probably died in there."
Ichikawa smiled and wiped the happy tears from his face with his sleeve. Fujimori-kun smiled and waved before he ran to catch up to Hashiba-kun.
At least his bouchou died a good man. Ichikawa was a little bit more contented now.
--
It had been at least an hour of sitting on the steps before Ichikawa heard a voice calling to him in the distance. He thought he was dreaming but the voice started getting louder.
"ICHIKAWA-SAN!!"
Ichikawa sat up at the pained cry and saw a figure crawling towards him with tired, bloodshot and desperate looking eyes. He jumped up and ran towards this mysterious stranger who called his name, wondering who it was.
Green hair caught in the moonlight and Ichikawa's heart punched him in the chest. He froze, limbs shaking and tears streaming from his eyes.
"N-Nagase-bouchou!?" he asked quietly. His love smiled weakly and collapsed before he could get to Ichikawa. The blue-haired boy ran to him and held his tired body close. He had never seen his bouchou so vulnerable and weak. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him all over and cry into his arms forever. He was so happy Nagase-bouchou was alive he didn't know what to do or say he could just feel his heart racing.
"Ichikawa…?" Nagase-bouchou asked weakly. "Gomen asai Ichikawa. I've been a fool all this time."
"Dai-jobu," Ichikawa said comfortingly. "I'm so glad you're alive!! I was so upset I didn't know if I could go on I…"
Ichikawa caught a glimpse of Nagase's leg and gasped. It was covered in blood, burns and dirt.
"We need to get you inside!" he exclaimed. "You're hurt. It could get infected."
"I'm fine now you're here," Nagase breathed. "It's just a dull ache. You are everything now and all I needed was a near death experience to figure it out. I've had time to think now and I-…I value you more than anything now Ich—no, Gaku-chan."
Ichikawa was crying again. Those words, sweet words he had been waiting to hear for so long filled his heart and he couldn't breathe. There was just him and his bouchou. He smelled like smoke and was white as a sheet and he was perfect. Everything was perfect.
The moon looked down at the lovers, her approving glow shining brightly as ever.
