My head hurt as I whipped around to see the door of the foundry being flung open. The sound of the big titanium door clashing with the wall only fueled my pain. It was as if a little tiny person crawled inside my brain and smashed the inside with a sledgehammer. I should of listened to Diggle and not of drank that expensive bottle of red wine. The whole bottle was empty when I woke up, the only corporate...me. It's what I get after getting drunk alone last night.
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the heavy footsteps on the metal stairs. I didn't want to bother to look up. I knew instantly who it was. It's like a sweet curse, being able to feel his presence in the room immediately after he entered. The next thing I heard was a second pair of feet coming close behind the first. I didn't rise my head from the desk, only prayed that I couldn't be acknowledged. Oh how I would love to become invisible right now and be able to escape what most likely will become an awkward unwanted situation.
I wouldn't be able to look at her and him, not without breaking down and crying. It hurt, hurt too much for me to indulge in what used to be the most simple reaction between us. If I glanced even for a second I would be in a emotional state, the same emotional state that Dig found me in last night.
I came by the foundry last night to see how he was doing after he confronted his mother and walked out of her life personally as her son. Only to come by to see if he needed anything or anyone to listen. I expected to walk in and see him being at war against one of the training dummies. However it wasn't what I saw. I quietly walked down the steps, stopping at the last one to only freeze in place. Before me there he had been, only he wasn't alone. She was with him and they appeared to not want or need any company. There they were in the middle of the foundry half naked and making out like a couple of teenagers. In those five first seconds my heart stopped, in the next two it broke into tiny pieces,and in the last five I forced myself to walk up the steps and not look back.
The second I turned around was the second my whole resolve broke. I slammed the door not caring whether or not they heard it. I was hurt and angry. Not angry with them but more with myself. They had every right to be happy. They have been through hell and back with each other, they deserve happiness. They get what the other has been through, what a match made in heaven. Why was I angry? I was angry with myself for hoping that one day he would reciprocate the same feelings I had for him.
The words we exchanged at Queen Consolidated after Russia had replayed over and over in my mind. "Because of what I do, it's better for me not to be with someone I could really care about." He cared about Sara, it was just me he didn't care about. Though with the look he gave me after I told him he still deserved better had me hoping that we still had a chance and he was talking about me. Now I see that I was wrong and I was foolish to think otherwise.
With tears rolling down my face and my body cradled into a ball on the bar is how Diggle found me. We talked about how Oliver is an ass and how he didn't deserve someone as optimistic and innocent as me. Dig's words not mine. He offered to drive me home and I let him, I wasn't going to be able to without getting into a wreck. He walked me to my car, but not before I could grab one of Verdant's best bottles of wine, red wine.
When we reached my house I thanked Dig for the millionth time and told him goodnight. He kissed me on the forehead and warned me not to get drunk by myself. Not needing another reason to have him and Roy kick the man's ass that caused me grief. I smiled, waved goodbye, and poured me a glass of wine as soon as I entered the kitchen. One glass turning into three and three turning into five. Before I knew it the bottle was gone. I fell onto my bed not even bothering to change and cried myself to sleep.
Now here I was hoping to get by without being seen maybe they won't even know I'm here. They could ignore me and I could continue to research all I could on this Mirakuru and Slade Wilson.
"Felicity!" Damn it. Did he really have to yell. Should I respond or ignore. Maybe if I ignore him he will go away or he would start to yell again. "Felicity!" Now he is mad. I shouldn't of ignored him the first time.
"Yes." It came out stronger and louder than I expected it to. Anger coursed through me and I glanced his way.
My tone seemed to surprise him. He scrunched up his face in confusion and made his way toward me.
"Are you okay?" He sounded sincere.
I wanted to say no. What do you think? It wasn't his fault though, but then again wasn't kind of his fault. "No I am fine." The rush of pain shot towards my head. I winced and clutched the side of it.
This action seemed to catch his attention and before I knew it, he was knelt in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. Oh so now he cares, pft. "No you're not, what's wrong?"
"Why do you assume something is wro..." I was again interrupted by Diggle running into the foundry letting out a string of curse words. Resulting in me wincing once more. Why is everyone so loud today?
Dig took notice fast and glared in my direction. If it wasn't for the splitting headache I would glare back. "Even after I told you not to you still did, didn't you?" Am I that easy to read.
"No..." I slowly drew out. "Well maybe. Okay yeah I did. I had the right to and you had no way of stopping me. Well actually you could of taken the bottle away but you didn't which means I did exactly what you told me not to do, so yes the answer to your question is yes." Diggle smirked. Sara cracked a smile and Oliver looked even more confused than before. He looked almost frustrated because he didn't know what was going on.
"I thought I told you not to."
"You did but obviously I couldn't care." I was acting stubborn.
"Told her not to do what? Felicity did what? What did you do?" The questions only kept spluttering out of his mouth.
"Seriously Oliver can't you tell. The loud noises are hurting Felicity's head an she winces a lot." Diggle directed to him. "You were once a billionaire playboy surely you can figure it out."
Then finally it was like a light bulb went of in his head. "Your hungover!" Took you long enough. "Why are you hungover? More importantly why did you get drunk?"
Why was he so furious. "Why does it even matter it is none of your business."
"Bull shit it's none of my business Felicity. It is my business!" Oliver retaliated.
"No actually it is not...it's not like you care. " I mumbled the last part under my breath.
"What?! Of course I care, why would you think for even a second that I didn't." So I guess it wasn't as quite as I thought.
"Can we just forget this ever happened and move on." I was not in the mood to have this talk especially not here with him. I pleaded with Diggle with my eyes for some help, but he replied with a shrug.
"No. We are not moving on form this. Why can't you tell me what's wrong? What happened last night that made you turn to the decision of alcohol?" He stood his ground and crossed his biceps over his chest. If he was tying to intimidate me, then good luck.
"I just don't feel like talking about it okay?" I moved around him trying to get out of the way and leave. I shouldn't of came in today. I was insane to think I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.
He grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. "Felicity." The way he said my name and the way it naturally rolled off of his tongue caused a shiver to run down my spine. Even when I'm pissed as hell, he still has an effect on me.
"Please...please Felicity. Will you just talk to me. I need you to talk to me." Was he pleading with me? Was that a hint of desperation and hurt in his beautiful eyes?
I sighed heavily. "Please Oliver...please let me go." I yanked my hand away, but his own grip tightened on my wrists. "Why does it matter why I did what I did. Not that I did anything wrong. I only got drunk...alone but so what. I may of also stole a bottle of red wine from the club. I'll pay you back though and I will just stop in three...two...one..." I could feel the flush on my face and neck, hot form embarrassment. "Seriously Oliver why do you care so much?"
"I care...I..." It was the same look he showed before. The one I couldn't decipher , but not long after I saw it appear, it vanished. A hard, stern look replacing it. "I care because if your going to go around getting drunk and being stupid then I don't want you here. I don't want you putting Diggle, Sara, Roy, or me in danger during missions or patrolling. If you're going to start thinking more about yourself than your teammates I don't want you on this team anymore." He glared and I could see how the words he just said were slowly repeating in his head. A look of guilt suddenly washed over him. He opened his mouth. I was assuming to apologize,k but I beat him to it.
I was know longer feeling anger toward him, but something greater stirred in me. "What the hell Oliver! You know I would never put myself first, because for one I actually care about this team and the members of it. I also didn't get drunk just because I felt like it, the reason why I did..." I stopped. I can't bare to tell him. What would he think of me, how would he react? Would he laugh at me? Feel sorry? "If you feel that way then fine. I quit. I am tired of putting up with your sorry ass anyway. I'll turn in my resignation tomorrow morning. HR will find you a new EA (executive assistant) firs thing in the morning. I will grab my stuff and go. Diggle once told me that I was irreplaceable on this team and on both of your lives. I used to think That I wasn't cut out for any of this and I was nothing to you. You told me I was your friend, your partner, you girl..." my voice cracked. "I will leave and you won't have to see me ever again." How about that Queen, you don't want me here, I won't say and get in the way.
I grabbed my coat and purse off of what used to be my desk chair. I walked up to Diggle and pulled him into a hug. I could see the tears that threatened to fall from his brown eyes. I would miss them, it hurts but I will. Diggle and Roy are like my brothers. Sara a friend, an Oliver well he's Oliver. I kissed dig on the cheek and whispered goodbye softly against his chest. I turned to Roy and the look on his face caused a tear to shed from me. He pulled me in close and kissed the top of my head, promising me that I could always come to him if I needed anything. I glanced at Sara and quickly waved goodbye. We were not close friends but I still cared about her. I mouthed the words, "He deserves you, be happy."
The confusion settled and then understanding took place. She realized last night I was the one who slammed the foundry door. I was the one who walked in and saw her and Oliver. She stepped towards me and I raised a palm to stop her I turned around and walked silently up the steps. As soon as I reached my red mini cooper my emotions broke free. I just broke my own heart leaving him behind without a second glance. I pulled out from the parking lot and made my way through the Glades to my apartment. The only single thought was I shouldn't of drank that full bottle of wine, the same bottle of wine Oliver promised to give me after I helped him with his so called "wealthy scavenger hunt".
I sped home not caring of all the traffic laws I was breaking and violating. Right now I need to be alone. I needed a pint of Ben and Jerry's mint chocolate chip ice cream and a marathon of Doctor Who.
