Hey guys. So I wrote a thing as a joke and it grew a lot bigger than I ever thought it would, whoops. There was just supposed to be one story here, and now I've got several plot lines and graphic organizers to help me sort them out. No, I haven't forgotten about my other fics, I promise none of them are abandoned (even that one that hasn't been updated in a year). I just got really excited about this idea and then I couldn't write anything else, haha.

(Also, about the Geo metro Alfred drives? I asked my mom for the worst car she could think of and that's what she offered from personal experience. I don't know anything about cars, guys.)


What higher power had Lovino angered to deserve such torture? His roommate was usually quiet as a mouse, which would have been great and all if his stupid fucking brother didn't always feel the need to wake him up at such unholy hours of the morning. Who fucking cares about breakfast this early anyway? There were about five things Lovino could list that would make for a perfect Saturday morning, most of which included sleep and all of which excluded obnoxious brothers.

"Sorry," Matthew apologized before Lovino could voice most of his tirade out loud. "I thought he'd be a bit yet, and I was going to wait outside for him..."

"It's fine," Lovino huffed irritably, even though it most certainly was not fine. He wasn't about to yell at Matthew, though. "What time is it, even?" He squinted at the weak light emanating from the closed blinds, taking note of the red uniform Matthew was smoothing out in the mirror. "You're going to work?"

Lovino missed the smirk that pulled at Matthew's lips as the latter made his way to open the door. "Yes. It's after 11."

"Ugh." Lovino groaned and burrowed underneath his comforter. "Tell your idiot brother to shut the Hell up next time."

"I can try, but you know him." Lovino did, unfortunately.

The door clicked open, swiftly accompanied by Matthew's soft voice politely shushing Alfred's buoyant chatter. "Yes, we can get some Denny's," Lovino heard him agree before the door closed again and the room was silent once more.

A few minutes thereafter were spent fruitlessly chasing the last remnants of precious sleep before Lovino sighed and reluctantly accepted the fact that he was well and truly awake. Without removing the blanket from over his head, he blindly reached about for his phone and pulled it towards himself.

A Saturday spent alone in bed, scrolling through social media and searching for memes to fill the void within himself? A concept Lovino was sadly accustomed to.


"You don't have your apron," Matthew commented in confusion, walking down the dorm hallway beside Alfred.

Alfred shrugged casually. "Ehh, I called in. Not feeling it today."

Matthew raised a brow. "You know they're going to see you drop me off, right? You could get in trouble."

Alfred waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, who cares. I'm the best they got. They ain't gonna fire me." He grinned and winked at Matthew.

Matthew rolled his eyes even as he held the door for his brother to pass through. "And I bet you're not going to take this day off to catch up on your homework or anything."

"Nope!" Alfred agreed cheerfully. "That's the beauty of a day off."

Matthew personally disagreed, but resigned to keep quiet about it. If he wanted to keep his opinion, anyway, it was best not to argue with Alfred or he'd inevitably end up unironically agreeing with him. Damn Alfred's innate lawyer skills.

"So, what're you getting to eat?" Alfred asked once they were in his (God awful) yellow Geo metro and pulling out of the driveway (Alfred insisted that his car was in good shape, but the rear view mirror was held together with duct tape and there were dents all over from where Alfred's roommate had introduced it to a crowbar. Alfred had never offered an explanation and Matthew was too scared to ask).

Matthew smiled sheepishly. "Is that even a question anymore?"

"No, let me guess." Alfred didn't take his eyes off the road, but gestured with one hand as he spoke. He paused for a second and pretended to think, before snapping his fingers and saying, "Pancakes. With tons of syrup."

Matthew laughed. "Of course. And you're going for the all American breakfast, I take it?"

"Bingo!" Alfred accented his excitement with a few drums on the steering wheel. "It's gonna be lit, fam."

Matthew grimaced. "Please, don't."

Alfred laughed loudly, and although it was indeed a mildly obnoxious sound, it was rather infectious, and Matthew couldn't help but join in.

"Hey," Alfred began once they'd both quieted a bit, "I was gonna ask about work last night. Any new horror stories to share with the class?"

Matthew suddenly felt exhausted, and he rubbed at his eyes beneath his glasses. "Not really. I witnessed someone tear a debit card to pieces with their bare hands at the checkout. Nothing too impressive."

"Yikes," Alfred whistled appreciatively. "I bet I could do that."

"I won't take that bet," Matthew commented drily.

"And you know- wait," Alfred altogether paused, shushing Matthew before he could even question the sudden change. "Hey, listen!" he leaned forward and turned the radio up.

It was the intro to "Sweet Child of Mine". Alfred looked ridiculously excited about it, and Matthew mockingly raised a brow. Alfred responded by sticking his tongue out and turning the music up.

"We're not going Stepbrothers," Matthew warned, but it was too late, and then Alfred was shrieking,

"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories, where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky come on Mattie!"

Matthew shook his head, too busy laughing to sing along.

"You're ridiculous," Matthew pointed out at the end of the first chorus, to which Alfred just beamed. And then they were both singing,

"Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide, and pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by."

And for that moment, at least, neither of them had to pretend to be happy.


Francis absently tapped his pen on his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen. "Where do we go, where do we go now," he muttered.

Kiku, walking past with a cup of coffee, stopped to offer him a sympathetic smile. "Is the song in your head, too?"

Francis, leaping at the quick reprieve from his boredom, swiveled his chair around. "Sometimes I think it is sad that they spend so much time together, and other times I am glad they do so I have someone to complain to about them."

Kiku laughed softly. "I have to agree."

"I need help," Antonio interrupted urgently, dramatically maneuvering his chair over to Francis's cubicle. "Oh hi, Kiku!" he said cheerfully, before returning his concerned expression to Francis. "Lovino's sad again and he keeps ignoring the positive ads I keep sending him. What should I do?"

"Technically," Kiku began carefully, "we're not supposed to intervene-"

"Easy!" Francis exclaimed. "Get him a date!"

"What?"

"Yeah! Dates are fun and it will give him a reason to go outside," Francis insisted.

"I don't know…" Antonio pretended to mull it over. For some reason, he really didn't like that idea very much. He glanced over at Kiku, knowing full well that the usually sensible Japanese man would reject Francis's plan. "What do you think?"

"We really shouldn't get too involved," Kiku reiterated.

"Okay, that's off the table then." Antonio shrugged. "What else?"

"Well, I am not sure, dating is usually the answer." Francis frowned.

"You know him better than we do," Kiku pointed out. "What makes him happy?"

Antonio lit up. "I do! Gracias Kiku!" he beamed, and abruptly rolled his chair back to his own corner.

"You're welcome?" Kiku called in bewilderment. He shared a glance with an equally taken aback Francis.

"Are you going to drink that?" Francis asked after a several second pause. Kiku blinked, but sighed and handed the mug over.

"Merci, Kiku!"

Did he love his job or hate it? Kiku couldn't even tell anymore.


So let me know what you thought? I love feedback! The update schedule may be a bit hectic as I have a bajillion other stories to catch up on, but I really do try my best.

Also, Matthew works at Target and Alfred works at the Starbucks in that Target.