Facades

By: Romeaddict

Category: Fate/Stay Night

Disclaimer: Fate/Stay Night isn't mine, but this fic is mine.


A full moon, a beautiful night by anyone's standards. Yet why can't I sleep? What's bothering me? I ask myself this every night, every night I can't sleep. I sit up from my Tatami Bed, looking outside, peace and quiet. Yet I feel confined in this room. With hundreds of questions appearing in my mind, demanding an answer, answers I cannot give, only you can provide them. So I sat, staring up. Finally I got up, leaning on my door frame, thinking to myself, I let you so close as to live with me, yet I can't show you how much I care for you? Yet I can't ask you any of the questions forming in my mind every second, all about you?

For once, only with you, I always have to ask what's on your mind. Normally I would be able to read people, but not with you. You're always putting up a facade. It's true that everyone does, it's just that you are really putting so much effort into this. Before I get mad at you for it, or annoyed, but now all that's left is curiosity and pity. I'm left to wonder why you'd bother doing what you're doing. Why not just show me the real you? I'm sure I'll just love you more. Are you insecure about me? Because I'm not giving you any reason to be, nor am I seeing any reason.

As I walk outside from our paper walled house, seeking for some air and solitude, becoming relieved when I find it, I continue my repertoire of questions. Once you think about something long enough, it'll show you it's answer, or in this case, it's true color, but not with you. What do you want me to do to earn your trust, you tell me I have it but actions speak louder than words, and your putting-up-of-a-façade isn't helping at all. So now I ask why? Is it just me? Am I the problem, are you finally sick of me? Numerous questions flowed out of me all at the same time. I start to struggle keeping it to myself, I'm all alone, will I remain like this? Are we forever to remain friends? Nothing more, nothing less? It's not enough for me, if you can read me so easily, why can't you see that I love you?

You asked me once how to prove that I love you. How can someone prove something intangible? I asked. You just laughed. Now I ask again waiting for an answer, will you not trust me? Don't you know? Just because you don't feel my hand in yours doesn't mean it's not there.

I look up staring at the dark sea, which seems to have diamonds in them. Then all of a sudden I feel the sense of longing for someone beside me, just because I noticed how alone I was in this cold night. I walk on the bridge of our city, just watching the water flowing smoothly; it always calms me down. I hear some sound coming from our house; it's her. The one I've been thinking of every night. Same questions, same person. I consider telling her . . . my secretive part emerges victorious.

She mutters a soft "Hey" which I can tell didn't need a reply, so I didn't. She feels my want-for-silence but want-for-company mood, so she walked up beside me and hugs my side. One of the reasons why I love her, she can read me and doesn't take advantage of it. I put my arm around her, showing her my appreciation for the company. I can feel that this is the genuine her, no facades, no masks, just plain and simple her. To be beside her like this is all I really wanted, just to have the real her. I just wanted her to open up to me, to express to me, so I'll know how she wants me to express back to her. Her being there, was all I really wanted, and I'm glad that she stayed here beside me, I couldn't ask for anything better, I felt the urge to tell her out of my urge of gratitude and happiness, but I didn't.

I guess this was my way of showing my love for her, I assume that's how she interprets it, because she hugs tighter. Only the sound of the water flowing is in the air and her soft breathing telling me that she's just there, beside me, and that's all I need to know. We're both looking at the river and the sky, not a word said, not a word needed between us, she needs me and I need her, that's the way it's always been.

I let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding, and she notices my gesture of relaxation. Other people would just start talking, but she didn't. For the first time tonight, we made eye contact, I wasn't sure of what happened next, all I found out was that once moment, with nothing but the sound of the river and our slow and smooth breaths, then the next moment, we kiss, holding each other tightly, wanting nothing but this to go on. We reluctantly released each other for air, both of us blushing profusely, then we faced each other again, but this time more gently, this time, I felt her warm lips touched mine, her arms going around me, and me doing the same.

Before this night, I was confused, confused about how she feels about me, because of all the facades she puts in between us, but tonight, tonight showed me her feelings, as well as mine. And we were both more than happy to accept each other. That night went on with us together, and from that night on, that bridge became an important part of our lives. Even though we live under the same house, we meet at this bridge every night, and just spend time together; sometimes no words were needed. All we needed was each other and the assurance that she is with me, and I with her, hand-in-hand, step per step.

It's nights like this that I live for, it's people like her that I long for, but it's only her that my love is for.


Actually, I made this fic but I didn't know for what category since it could go in any, due to the no-nameness of the fic.

Anyways, hope you liked it! R&R please, it would help a lot. Rated T for safety.