AN: I should be writing a paper, but instead decided to write this one shot. It's a little vague, but let me know what you think :)
Chris was in shock. The past 48 hours had probably been the worst hours in his life. They had had some bad days at Trauma One, but this one… This one had gotten to him. To all of them.
He could still remember walking in at the beginning of shift, everything was normal. Well, as normal as Trauma One could be. There had been an incident on a party boat, not clear exactly what had happened, but there were 5 vans incoming. One hour into their shift, everything went to hell. He remembered the blood, the screams. He was used to his patients being half dead when they come in. But it's different when they are people you know. When they're your colleagues, your friends, people you care about… a lot. He remembered Proctor screaming orders before passing out from blood loss. He remembered Serena, blood in her hair, lying on the floor. He remembered Eva, beautiful, funny, sexy, Cuban Eva, being rolled into an operating room. Even though he was hurt himself, he had insisted on helping with the surgery. He just couldn't bare letting someone else take point. He remembered when her eyes slowly opened for a few seconds. She'd whispered it quietly: "don't let me die, C". She was out immediately after that. She hadn't heard him when he said he wouldn't. When he promised he wouldn't. When he whispered he loved her, and he would never let her die.
The quiet on the roof calmed him down, but his mind was still going crazy. He was going through the possibilities, the what if's. If they had checked the belongings of the patients, maybe everything would have been okay. If he had been able to react faster, maybe everything would have been okay. If someone had done something differently, maybe everything would have been okay. But they hadn't, and now things would never be okay again. He would never forget the people he lost in the past two days. And he would never be the same again. Miami would never be the same again without the amazing doctors that had been taken from him so abruptly. And neither would Trauma One.
