Ok this is my next fic as promised. Thanks to my regular readers who are always reviewing my stories, hopefully this will be slightly different to my usual style so I hope you're not disappointed. You'll have to be patient with me because this story involves time shifts between the past and the present.

This story will revolve around Gina and her experiences as a child and young adult, as she reflects on her life when tragedy strikes her world.

Gina sat on the bed beside Nicola and Molly as she read them their bedtime story one Thursday night. It was mid January so the temperature both inside and out was cold. She shivered slightly in the bedroom as she tucked the two young girls into their beds.

"Now, you two be really good and go straight to sleep." She said as she kissed Molly on the forehead and then Nicola.

She gently closed the bedroom door as she left to head back downstairs. Even though she now had Nicola to look after, she had insisted that Molly and Cara still stayed the night on Thursdays. Alex had tried to argue, saying she thought it was unfair to expect her Mum and Dad to look after three girls in such a small house, but Gina wouldn't hear of it. Her response was "where there is a will there is a way. It's only for one night a week so I'm sure we'll manage."

She loved looking after her Granddaughters no matter what she had to give up to do it. Most of the time Molly would end up in the bed beside her and Davey anyway. Cara slept in the living room on the pull out bed which she didn't mind so long as she got to spend time with her Granny and Granddad.

As Gina reached the bottom of the stairs her phone began to ring. She thought it might have been Davey ringing, he was working late at the pub, he often rang to say goodnight to Nicola if he was coming home after she was in bed.

"Hello." She answered stifling a yawn.

"Is that Ms Gina Gold?" A young woman asked on the other end.

Ginas' brow creased, she didn't like the seriousness of the womans' tone.

"Yes it is." Gina replied.

"I'm calling from Oak Hill Nursing Home; I'm one of the nurses in charge of looking after your Mother." The woman explained.

Gina felt her heart skip a beat.

"What's happened? Is she alright?" She interrupted.

"She's been taken to St Joseph's hospital, I'm sorry but she had a stroke about half an hour ago."

Gina felt her voice stick in her throat and didn't quite know what to say.

"Is she bad?" She asked.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you very much, the paramedics said that it was too early to tell."

"Right well I'll get to the hospital as quick as I can." Gina said as she ended the conversation and replaced the handset.

Gina sat on her stairs looking at her phone. Cara walked into the hall from the living room. She looked worriedly at Gina.

"Granny are you alright?" She asked.

Gina gave her a weak smile and held her arm out to give Cara a hug. Cara walked slowly over to where she was sat and joined her on the step. Gina wrapped her arm around Caras' shoulder and hugged her tightly.

"Who was that on the phone?" Cara pressed, feeling worried.

"It was one of the nurses at the home where my Mum is; apparently she's had a stroke." Gina explained.

"Is she ok?" Cara asked with concern.

"I'm not sure." Gina replied honestly. "I'm going to have to go to the hospital."

"Is she in St Hughes?"

"No it's one in Kent because that's where her home is." Gina said as she stood up.

She needed to let Alex know what was happening but didn't want to leave the kids on their own, so she phoned her instead. Within a couple of minutes Alex came round to be with her Mum.

"Well Smithy can stay with them; he's done it before and he doesn't mind." Alex argued. She was trying to persuade her Mum to let her drive with her to Kent. "Please Mum; you really shouldn't be on your own right now." She pleaded.

As much as Gina hated to admit it she really wanted Alexs' support and company.

"Alright, but only if Smithy doesn't mind." Gina relented.

"He won't mind so stop worrying about it." Alex said reassuringly.

After sorting the kids out Alex switched her car ignition on and pulled out of her drive way. Baby Alexander had ended up in the car with them, because he was going through a very clingy stage where he hated being separated from Alex.

It would take an hour and a half at least before they would get anywhere near the hospital. Gina sat quietly in the passenger seat thinking about her Mum and everything that had happened to them over the years.

Saturday morning in the East end of London in the summer meant that it was stifling hot. It was no exception in Commercial Square. All of the kids from the cul de sac laughed and played happily in the sun.

The kids ranged from the youngest at four to the eldest at eleven. They all knew each other and played together nicely, the older ones looking after the younger ones.

A small group of kids sat on the pavement chatting. They went to the same school around the corner and lived next to each other in the square. Davey Phillips was the eldest of the group, he was eleven. He had two younger sisters, Mandy who was nine and Sophie who was six. Then there was Marie Darling aged ten and her younger brother Angus who was the same age as Sophie. Richard Gold was also six and was in the same class at school as Sophie and Angus. The third eldest of the group was Gina aged eight.

It was late morning, nearly time for lunch, so they sat and enjoyed an ice-cream each and a glass of lemonade, supplied by Daveys' Mum.

"Thank you Mrs Phillips." They all said with gratitude.

As they enjoyed their treats they discussed their week at school.

"If Ruth Parker comments on my family one more time... I swear I'm going to bleedin' chin her." Marie said.

Marie and Angus' Dad had recently left his family and moved to somewhere else in London. He didn't say anything to anyone, just got up one morning, packed his bags and left. Since then, one of the girls in Maries' class had been picking on her and taunting her.

"Oh do me a favour, if you lamp her one it'll only make things worse. The teachers will come da'an 'ard on you instead of her." Gina said.

She was the more level headed one of the group, for only eight years she had more life experience than many of the adults on the street as well as having a wise head on young shoulders.

"Yeah Gina's right Marie, Ruth Parker ain't worth it; beside she's a right one to talk. I heard she ain't got an old man at all and never has 'cause he left before she were born." Davey explained.

Richard ran into his own house and left the others sat on the pavement. He needed the toilet so he ran in through the front door. Gina stayed sitting with her friends when he came running back out to her.

"Gina come 'ere quick I need you." He shouted sounding upset and distressed

Gina didn't need to guess what it was that he needed her for, she knew that it would be something to do with their Mother. Sure enough when Gina walked into her kitchen her Mother had collapsed on the floor.

Going back as far as Gina could remember her Mother had been addicted to Valium. She had started taking it after Richard was born and now she was hardly ever conscious.

The sight of her Mum sprawled on the kitchen floor no longer distressed Gina. She had seen it happen too many times before to let it worry her. She dragged her into the living room and moved her onto the couch. This had become quite a regular routine to Gina, but it still frightened her brother. Her own Father was hardly ever there. He owned a chain of bookmakers across the east and south ends of London, and spent fifteen hours a day (if not more) working.

"Sorry guys I'm going to have to stay in for a while but I'll catch you later." She had said, shutting the front door on the world.

Alex took hold of Ginas' hand which pulled her out of her thoughts. She had obviously been trying to tell her something but Gina hadn't been listening.

"Sorry darlin' I was in a world of my own. What were you saying?" She said sounding exhausted.

"We're nearly there now. It's just another five minutes away." Alex replied.

The streets were pretty quiet which made travelling a lot easier. Alex drove the car around the quiet streets and pulled into the hospital car park. She hardly spoke to Gina; she didn't know what to say. Gina seemed to be in a world of her own at the moment, which was understandable, so nothing was really getting through to her.

Getting out of the car the two women made their way into the main reception of the hospital. Alex carried baby Alexander in his carrier as he slept peacefully. Gina approached the receptionist and explained who she was into see and the situation they faced. The receptionist found someone to take both women up to the room where Ginas' Mum was.

Gina felt so numb that it didn't really shock her to see her Mum attached to several drips and had tubes coming out of her nose and mouth. The doctor explained that her Mother was on life support and that the stroke had been quite serious.

"We've sent some tests off for analysis but we won't get the results until the morning. For the moment we can't tell if she will regain consciousness or not; or how much damage the stroke has caused. We will know more when we get the results." He explained.

"Thanks Doctor. Can we go through and sit with her?" Alex asked.

"Yes of course you can. We will be checking on her periodically through the night so we can keep you updated." He finished, leaving Gina and Alex standing in the corridor.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Alex asked.

At first Gina wanted to say no but then realised that she wanted her own daughter to be close by.

"Actually, I would really appreciate it if you would." She said.

They walked into the room and heard the rhythmic beeping of the machines. There was a small soft arm chair in the corner of the room, and one right beside the bed. Alex encouraged Gina to sit beside her Mum and then gently placed Alexander on the floor and sat in the chair in the corner. For the first couple of hours they didn't say very much to each other, but gradually Gina opened up more and more to Alex about what her Mum had been like growing up.

"My Dad was never really there, he was too much of a coward to face up to his responsibilities." Gina said.

"How do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I remember one incident in particular. I was about ten years old and I had become quite accustomed to pulling my Mum up off the floor, she was always out cold. This particular incident happened... must have been in the early hours of the morning, she was unconscious as usual but my Dad was still not home. I was struggling to get her up from the kitchen floor when I heard the front door open. It was my Dad coming home from the bookies at last. He looked at me, saw what was happening but didn't even make a move to help; instead I heard the front door close again and he was gone, just like that." She explained.

Alex looked shocked. She knew that growing up had been quite difficult for Gina and her brother, but this was the first time that she had really heard Gina talking about it so candidly.

"My parents were one of the main reasons I gave you up for adoption. It just wouldn't have been fair to divide my attention between you and them." She said.

Gina looked at her Mum as she lay in her hospital bed. I gave my only daughter up for you and Dad and never got anything out of it. She thought bitterly.

January 1974 was cold and very bitter. It had been one of the coldest winters Gina had ever experienced in the heart of London. She sat in the Doctors' waiting area surrounded by people coughing, sneezing and sniffing. Flu had been spreading quickly from person to person. The newspapers had been reporting it as one of the worst epidemics in Britain in over ten years. Gina hoped that she wouldn't catch it; that would be all she'd need at the moment.

"Gina Gold?" The doctor called around the waiting room.

Gina stood up and walked over to the doctor and smiled weakly at him. He walked her into his private room and asked her to take a seat before settling behind his own desk. She waited patiently, unaware that she was holding her breath. She looked at the Doctor and waited for him to start speaking.

"Well we finally have the results back from your pregnancy test, you are pregnant. We're sure that you are at least three months gone so there are one or two more tests we need to do." He explained at last.

Gina released her breath and looked shocked. She wasn't sure why she felt so shocked, she had surmised the results a long time before now.

"Have you spoken to the babys' father yet?"He asked politely.

Ha that's a joke and a half, don't think me or my baby will be having anything to do with him. She thought to herself before shaking her head.

"No I don't want anything more to do with him." Gina said.

"Will you be telling anybody about the pregnancy? After all, it isn't something you should try doing on your own." He encouraged.

"I'm sure I'll manage." She replied impatiently.

She stood up and headed towards the door.

"I have managed on my own before now, and I don't need you or anybody else telling me otherwise." She said before walking out of the doctors' surgery.

She walked the long way home again thinking about her situation. She wasn't sure what it was she was going to do. In a way she felt terrified about the prospect of becoming a Mum on her own, she knew for a fact that Davey wasn't her babys' Dad. That meant that Jack Marshall was and she couldn't run the risk of him finding out about the pregnancy.

How would my baby feel if it found out it had a violent rapist for a father? She asked herself.

She thought for a while about what she would tell Davey. They hadn't been back together for very long but she couldn't ask him to bring up another man's baby and run the risk of everyone finding out the truth. No, she would have to end it before anyone could get too hurt. The thought of ending it with Davey hurt and upset Gina more than the thought of being a single Mum.

She had known Davey since she was born really. He was three years older than her, she had always looked up to him, and he had always looked after and taken care of her. They started seeing each other two years previously when Gina was sixteen. She'd had a crush on him since she was eleven but never realised that he felt the same for her.

They split up about six months ago when Davey asked her to marry him. Gina desperately wanted to say yes to him but she couldn't, she still needed to be with her family and take care of them. She couldn't commit her life to Davey knowing that it wouldn't just be them in their marriage. She made the hard choice and turned him down but couldn't give him a good reason why. He left London for a couple of months and Gina thought that that would be the last she would see of him. Then about four months ago he turned up on her door step with an apologetic look and a large bouquet of flowers. She melted and knew that she was madly in love with him. That was something she would keep to herself though, admitting her feelings was something Gina Gold never talked about or expressed.

"We'll take it slowly, and I promise I won't force you to make any decisions you don't want to make." He had said.

Gina couldn't say no to that so she got back together with him. The last few months had been fantastic between them. True to his word he didn't do anything that Gina didn't want to do. Then about a month and a half before, Gina decided that she wanted to move in with Davey. They wanted to look for a place together because neither of their flats was big enough for two people.

She hadn't realised that she was pregnant until quite recently but she knew Davey couldn't be her babys' father because they had been careful, Jack Marshall on the other hand hadn't been.

She had tried to put the incident to the back of her mind. She hadn't told anyone that Jack Marshall had raped her; she just wanted to forget about the whole thing.

With only one thing certain in Ginas' life at the moment, she opened her front door and let herself in. This baby would be her chance to break free from the monotonous pattern her life had fallen into. This baby would be her secret, but most of all this babywould be hers to love and care for. Closing the front door she placed her hand over her stomach and patted it protectively.

Gina was woken by Alex who was holding a hot cup of tea.

"Mum are you awake?" She whispered.

It took Gina a few moments to get her bearings and remember where she was. She looked at Alex who smiled at her.

"I thought you might like a hot drink." She said to her Mum as she passed Gina the plastic cup.

"Thanks." Gina replied as she took hold of the drink and held it to her lips.

"I phoned Dad and told him what has happened; he's on his way over. Before you object he insisted on coming, he said he wanted to be with you." Alex added when she saw the look on Ginas' face as she tried to interrupt.

Gina smiled weakly at her now grown daughter and then looked across the room to baby Alexander who was still fast asleep. She still loved her daughter more than anyone else and knew she always would.