Okay.

I'm making my stupid love life into a story. And I'm only doing it because for one, this is the only way I know how to feel a little better about things. I'm going to be twisting things around though. Major twisting will be done.

And it's a negative chapter… but please read… it'll get better, I promise. :)

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Do I Know You?

Chapter 1

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I loved twice. I was fooled twice. And by two different men, too.

But my heart hasn't been broken twice. No, that was only once. The second time, it was shattered. Then this dull feeling settled inside of me… it was weird. I could feel nothing and there would be tears bubbling up. But not once have they spilled in three years.

The first and last time I've wept was when I was seventeen. It's a young age to be in love, but that doesn't matter.

My best friend, Himura Kenshin has been there for me since I was twelve. He was fourteen at the time. We met at a fair. The first week we met we were inseparable… and that carried on for four years. When he hit the age fifteen, he was relationship driven. People always told us that we would make a great couple, which caused so many issues. You see, he was dating my friend, Tomoe for almost two years. I thought it was weird at first, since she's two years older then him. They were an odd couple. The first few months they were together, they loved each other. And Tomoe was avoiding me because she thought I had a crush on him. I thought it was funny. I cleared that up by saying that I don't. They would always bicker and argue, break up and get back together in ten minutes. She would always say he was a real asshole, he would say she was too paranoid. It was strange they were together for so long. I gave them advice on how to deal with one another. I did it for my reasons. I didn't want to see them hurting each other.

While this was happening, I was having my own relationship troubles. Akira, my boyfriend from fourteen to fifteen was absolutely sweet to me. But after a few months, he started avoiding me. Slowly, we stopped talking. I loved him and because of that, my heart cracked over time… until it broke. Broken hearts take time to fix. But even after a year, I wasn't over it... I'll get back to that later.

One day, Tomoe hadn't seen Kenshin. Tomoe knew he flirted around a lot, which was the reason why she was paranoid of me. She was my other best friend, yet I knew she held bitterness towards me because I was his number one best friend. Anyway, she finally was able to talk to him and he joked that he was at another girl's house. She took it seriously. They ended up breaking up for good.

That's when things started to get weird.

A month after they broke up and a week after I turned sixteen, Tomoe had stopped talking to me. I had wondered why. Kenshin was going out with one of my other friends, Saya. I didn't like it. Of course, I had a crush on Kenshin, but I didn't know it yet. And I was angry at the two of them for choosing each other. They were all wrong for one another, it made my stomach hurt. Kenshin told me that nothing was wrong, and that if anything were to happen he would talk to me.

And he did.

He hung out with me mostly everyday, telling me everything that went on in his life. I knew Saya didn't like it, but I couldn't deny him his best friend. I didn't know what to do. Then suddenly Tomoe started talking to me again, saying that she knew he didn't like Saya. I tried so hard to tell her he did. Then she changed subject, telling me that I was the one that kept her and Kenshin's relationship up for so long. She told me all the advice I had given them had helped, but it wouldn't last forever. I didn't know whether to be sorry or to be thankful.

It ended up with me being sorry.

Kenshin and Saya had broken up because of me. Saya turned out to hate me, really. Her words were:

"Thank you, Kaoru, for being such a bitch. I hate you! You always butt into our relationship. Just go die somewhere! I never want to see you again!"

Okay, like any regular, young teen, I wasn't going put up with that. So I did the stupid thing.

I fought back.

And now we don't talk.

Great move, huh?

Kenshin said he was sorry about everything, for bringing me into his relationships. I forgave him and said it was my fault that it all happened. That Saya was right, I was butting in… but I was only worried. I let it get to me.

After all, we were best friends.

A few months before my seventeenth birthday, Kenshin told me he loved me. I didn't know what to do, so I went to Tomoe for help. She said she had gotten over Kenshin. I was a fool to believe her.

It was awkward when we talked. She would sometimes say catty things that would get me angry, like, "Well I knew Kenshin always liked you. You two are absolutely perfect for each other. He's an asshole, and you're the backstabber." One day I got fed up and asked her what the hell her problem was. She told me she didn't want me knowing, but she couldn't hide it. It turns out that my old best friend, Tomoe, had despised me. Then I knew she wasn't over Kenshin. It hurt the both of us. It hurt her, because her love was in love with her best friend. Me, because I was confused, lost, and she hated me.

Then, as if to scrubs soap into my wounds, she told me that she had saw the other day Akira. He had been hitting on her, and they got together.

Let me tell you, she regretted telling me immediately. No, I didn't cry. I didn't get depressed. Instead, I bitched. I asked questions that were alarmingly blunt, especially for her. She was shocked.

So, what'd he say?

Why didn't you tell me?

Were you afraid I would find out how much of a backstabbing bitch you are?

You're four years older then me. I thought you were the mature one?

I always knew you were hiding something… I was your best friend, it isn't my fault your ex likes me. It's your fault because you couldn't hold his interest.

She wept, and I walked away. We haven't talked, nor seen each other since. I was too hurt to care about Tomoe and Akira. I pushed them to the back of my mind.

Kenshin was angry at them, too.

He said it was because they hurt me.

From then on he started saying that he loved me. He would never do anything to hurt me. He even promised.

What's the meaning of promises? They're meant to be broken.

I was beginning to love him back, he made me feel happy. Akira was something different compared to him. They were diverse. Akira was happy and kind. Kenshin was dark and private. I was the only one Kenshin let himself fall this hard for. He told me so.

And like a complete fool, I believed him.

He was leading me on. And shortly after my big sixteen, I cried.

There was another girl. One that didn't know him like I did, one that didn't know everything about him. And he chose her over the girl he said he loved. I didn't understand why… why would he just cast me away like that?

But I understood. As my heart fell to pieces, I realized that you can't control love. It's one that can and will never be controlled. I wasn't a bitch about it. When you love someone as much as I love him, you can't deny them of anything.

He asked, "I don't to lose my best friend over something like this…"

I said I would still be his best friend, and that he can still talk to me about anything. I would be happy for him, no matter what happens. By the time I was done, my tears created two waterfalls and I could barely manage to hold it in. His handsome face showed great regret. But I didn't want him to regret anything.

So I smiled. Because I thought I was going to be okay. I thought that over time, I would feel better. Because I still had my best friend.

And nothing was going to change that.

As days passed He grew more and more worried about me. I could tell. He knew me almost as well as I knew myself. He thought I would throw a fit, threaten him. I did nothing but accept the fact that he's found another person. I wanted him to be happy.

Then he broke the news that he was leaving for college.

My life fell deeper into that black hole.

Himura Kenshin, nineteen years of age, and me at seventeen years of age, had seen the last of each other the day he left for college.

He didn't write to me. He didn't call. He didn't visit. Even as I wrote, I got nothing in return.

I felt stupid. But I figured this situation would be like Akira's. So I pulled my head up, and I walked on.

I, Kamiya Kaoru, am now nineteen years of age. I have many friends, and three people I hope not to see again buried deep in my other memories.

Well, I only hoped. I would find out in time just how much the gods hate me.

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OKAY, I know this story sounds negative, but trust me; I plan on turning it into an awesome fic.

Just as long as you kind readers… review. :P