Disclaimer: Me: Okay, fine. I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters. Are you happy now?
Edward: Yes. Gives me a hug
Me: Laughs hysterically and passes out
Bella: Edward, I'm leaving you!
Edward: But… why?
Bella: My heart belongs to another!
Edward: Who? Is it the werewolf? It's the werewolf, isn't it?
Bella: No, it isn't Jacob! (Le gasp) It's Philippe! (Pronounced Fill-eep-AY)
Edward: Who is this Philippe person?
Bella: This is him! Holds up a squirrel
Edward: That's a squirrel.
Bella: Yes, and we're getting married!
Edward: Bella, you can't marry a squirrel.
Bella: He's a very sexy squirrel. And, he shares my love of produce!
Philippe: Yo dude.
Edward: AAAAHHHH! Talking squirrel! (Runs away screaming like a girl)
Alice: Ooooh! I'm gong to buy a tuxedo for Philippe!
Rosalie: Even though I hate your guts, I'm going to throw a bridal shower for you!
All except Edward: Hooray! (Applause and table-dancing)
