Dedicated to all my papoooses out there. I don't like waking up early on sundays either
DISCLAIMER: no sorry not mine
Nothing like sunday mornings
James Potter woke up late on Sunday morning. It didn't matter; he usually woke up late everyday. But today was Sunday. Sunday was their day—well, ok, that was a lie, it was her day. And, of course, when he sad 'her' he meant a fiery red head by the name of Lily Evans.
"Padfoot?" he said, practically jumping on top of Sirius in an attempt to wake him. "Oy Padfoot!"
Sirius Black opened his eyes slowly and moaned thickly, "Why couldn't you be a sexy blonde?"
"Padfoot! I don't have time for this. Where's the map?"
"What map?"
"The map! Our map!" James said cryptically, looking over at Frank Longbottom's bed as he spoke.
"Ask Remus." Sirius said, flopping back onto his own bed and falling back to sleep.
"Moony!"
"Whatttt?" answered Remus Lupin, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
"The map. Where is it?" he asked impatiently
"How should I know?"
"Remus John Lupin, you are the worse liar I've ever seen. Your eyes go all shifty."
"They do not," protested Remus, reaching out for his reading glasses.
"They do!"
"Sirius, do my eyes go all weird when I lie?"
"Yes," he answered shortly, before putting the pillow over his head to muffle James' big gob.
"They do not!" Remus said, shaking his head and attempting to look at his own shifty eyes, which only gave him the look that he was cross-eyed.
"I'm late! Moony, just give me the map."
"Why do you want it?" he asked.
"Want to sneak into Hogsmeade."
"Why can't you do something productive with your Sundays?"
"Like what?" James asked. What could be more productive than getting his future wife to acknowledge his existence?
"Quidditch," said Sirius, at the same time as Remus said "Homework", and Peter mumbled in his sleep, "Toast."
"Listen James, if I give you the map you must promise me that you are not going to use it to stalk Evans," said Remus sternly.
"What, me?" he said with mock innocence
"Yes you."
"I do not stalk! I merely wander in the general direction of her." Remus gave him one of his don't-lie-to-me-first-thing-in-the-morning-cause-I'm-a-big-angry-werewolf looks. "I promise. And anyway, it is very inconspicuous. She doesn't know a thing."
He handed James the map reluctantly.
James was about to exit the dormitory when he noticed that that he was only wearing his golden snitch boxers. "Crap!" He looked down at his watch. No time to change. He wrapped himself up in his invisibility cloak and hopped down the spiral staircase.
"I'm not the only one whose eyes shift when they're lying," commented Remus, picking up a book from his bedside table.
Sirius snored in reply.
----
Once in the common room, James opened the map and scanned the labelled dots for one in particular. After several minutes searching, he found it and hurried in the direction of the Great hall.
----
As a general rule for Sunday morning no students woke up before Midday. This was for several reasons including: hangovers, lie-ins, hangovers and the teachers who seemed to be in a very unfriendly mood, most probably because of hangovers from the weekly big "rave up" the staff had the night before, in which Snape won the limbo contest and Dumbeldore had cut off his beard for a dare. But that's another story…
McGonagall could be seen stalking the hallways, holding a cup of strong coffee in one hand and detention slips in the other for anyone who dared pass whistling "oh what a beautiful morning."
As soon as James entered the nearly deserted Great hall his eyes fixed on Lily. Maybe it was the fact the ceiling of the Great hall was issuing lots of sunlight but Lily looked more stunning than ever.
"Great! She's alone," he said to no one in particular.
Tiptoeing under his invisibility cloak as not to be seen (he had forgotten he was wearing it) he made his way towards the love of his life.
He sat down opposite her, munching on a piece of toast as she smiled to herself happily, her green eyes shining.
"Lily, this is where you are," called Alice, Lily's best friend, running into the Great hall. She stumbled halfway along and went bright red. "I thought you would have at least wanted a rest on your Sunday mor—" Someone shouting "Ouch" as she attempted to sit down at the table cut her off.
She had in fact attempted to sit on James but she didn't know that obviously because he was invisible.
"That's weird, it's like someone was sat there!" she said, sitting further along the Gryffindor table and had to call down to Lilly.
The teachers flinched at every word she said.
"Wait Alice, says that again."
"What? That it was like—"
"No before that."
"I said: I thought you would have at least wanted a rest on your Sunday morning."
Lily cursed under her breath, "I have to go to the Library!"
"Lily?" Alice shouted, but she was already out of the great double doors.
"Miss Prewett, please keeps down the noise!"
---
James didn't know what had suddenly come over Lily but she didn't go to the library. He followed her, nearly at a run because she was walking so fast, twisting and turning and going through secret passage ways, and if it wasn't for the fact he still had the map he would have lost her several times.
----
After a while Lily slowed to a walk, smiling and congratulating herself on a job well done.
On the 3rd floor she turned and entered a bathroom.
James dithered outside the door before gingerly following Lily inside.
James had never properly been inside a girl's bathroom before.
Sirius had pushed him through the doorway of once in the second year finding it hysterically funny.
James had never spoken of this experience to anyone.
As quietly as he could he slipped into the girls' bathroom, crossing every bit of his body for good luck. He stepped over threshold and—Wait…. What? No bolt of lighting striking him down? No alarm sounded…No nets captured him….
"They are letting standards slip."
----
Lily had shut herself in the furthest cubical. James knew this because he looked under the door and saw a pair of Lily-shoes.
He waited for 15 minutes for her to reappear.
She didn't.
"Ok, drastic action." He opened the door of the cubical next to Lily and went inside.
Girls cubical aren't like mens, he noted. Where boys wrote crude songs and poems on the walls of "the bog", girls wrote whom they loved in love hearts. James grinned to see lots of girls' initials inside a love heart with the letters SB.
He climbed onto the toilet carefully as this particular one didn't seem to have a lid and peeped over the wall of the cubical.
There below him was his Lily flower sat on the toilet fully clothed.
James couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at this.
She was writing in what looked like a small book.
A diary!
Lily closed the book, and true enough, it was. Embossed with Lily's name on the front, quickly the diary was placed inside her bag.
James never knew Lily had a diary. In all his time as a stalker he had never once seen this most important object. He didn't even know it existed. But now he did he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass.
He stretched out his invisible hand.
Come on.
Just a few more inches.
His hand clasped around the material of the bag but at the same time Lily stood up and walked out of her cubical. James took a step backwards, his cloak flying off him. Then, he was falling and his foot was wet. Looking down he noticed that his foot was INSIDE the toilet. Feet should be kept outside the toilet at all times.
Once he heard Lily close the door of the bathroom, James tugged at his foot.
It wouldn't move.
His foot was stuck in a pool of girl germs.
"Ok, breathe. Deep breaths!"
It was then James Potter, Head boy, Quidditch player extraordinaire, started to scream like a girl.
----
He was still screaming 2 hours later when Mrs. Norris found him. Her lamp like eyes looked up at James.
"Hello puss," her eyes narrowed, "Erm, go get help….. Go and get Remus. Remus Lupin." The tabby cat blinked once and with a swish of a tail was gone.
Mrs Norris didn't get help, James concluded 30 minutes later, because his foot was still stuck down a toilet.
This was probably Mrs. Norris' way of getting back at James for putting her in a suit of Armour last term.
------
Dear Diary,
James has been stalking me again. It's starting to annoy me now. Does he think I don't notice him doing it every Sunday? I mean, if he wanted to walk with me he could but why has he got to do this stupid stalking? It's pointless. But then again he always was rather dim-witted.
The stupid twat!
Please review as i'm all lonely and need love . My james potter hasn't come just yet.
Thanks cath for beta-ing YOU ROCK OFF HEGWIG'S SOCKS!
With love Kerrie
