A Broken Heart
It had been a great day. It had started out well – Emma had all her paperwork done by mid-morning, something she had never achieved before – and had fitted in a patrol around the town before deciding that she would pop home for lunch and see her family. She spent an hour with Regina and a sleepy Calon. Henry was out playing with some class mates, so it had pretty much been Emma and Regina having some alone time. Regina's cooking and, more importantly, Regina's kisses meant Emma went back to work floating on a cloud and with a beaming smile. And even though she didn't think it could, Emma's day got even better.
Just as she was driving past the convenience store, she had a call on her cell to say that it was being held up. Emma walked in as the robbery was in progress and was able to merely walk up behind the robber and pluck the gun out of his hand! Emma couldn't believe her luck. The element of surprise had been in her favour and although the robber had fought back when he realised what was happening, Emma managed to get the handcuffs on him without any serious injury (the bruise forming on her cheek was nothing compared to some of the injuries she had had while working in Boston). Having caught him in the act, it was a cut and dried case and so she waited in the sheriff's office for the state police to arrive. The guy in her jail cell was yelling his innocence and Emma couldn't wait to leave and continue some of that sweet sweet kissing with her lover. The officials had taken forever to arrive and Emma had had to call Regina to tell her she would be home later than she expected. Having seen her earlier in the day, Regina was incredibly relaxed about Emma coming home late, even suggesting that she get a bottle of wine from Granny's on the way home so that they could relax together.
Emma was feeling great. She strolled from the station over to Granny's. It was a beautiful evening. The sun had been down for about half an hour, so there was still a faint glow to the horizon, but the full moon gave a light to everything around her. Emma looked up at the sky while she waited for the traffic to stop. The stars even seemed to be shining brighter. Emma wanted to yell with happiness. A successful day at work and now she was on her way home to the two most amazing children that had ever been born. And the sexiest, hottest, most loving girlfriend was waiting for her – and Emma had her fingers crossed for some hot action later that night.
There were the usual evening revellers in Granny's providing a relaxed but noisy atmosphere. Emma made her way to the bar hoping that she could get her order quickly and be on her way home. Ruby was serving and Emma sighed in relief. Ruby would allow her to jump ahead of the queue and be on her way. But Ruby had other ideas. "There she is!" Ruby exclaimed loudly. "The hero of the day". Emma blushed and looked down at the counter tapping her fingers nervously. She didn't want this sort of attention – and certainly not for just doing her job. The people in the bar all cheered and Emma felt her back being patted and her right hand being shaken while a drink was pressed into her left hand. "A toast!" Granny announced. "To our wonderful Sheriff. Without her quick actions today, I might have been killed!" a collective gasp went up around the diner. "Yes that's right" Granny continued, "I was at the store when the robbery was taking place and had Emma not saved us, it might have been the end for me!" Emma smiled to herself, there was never any real danger to Granny, but let her have her moment. She was still speaking "So, friends, raise your glass and join me – to Sheriff Swan". Glasses were raised and clinked together. And before Emma knew it she was drunk. She had gone from politely taking the first drink thrust into her hand and insisting she was just having the one, to accepting every drink that was bought for her and starting to see two of everything. She was back to sitting at the bar having circulated the room a few times and now realised that she needed it for support. Just as she was attempting to get her alcohol infused brain to work and think of how she was going to get home, Ruby appeared in front of her explaining that she had rung Regina to come get her. Emma smiled at her, but thunked her head down on the surface of the bar. She could just imagine how that conversation had gone! Regina was going to kill her!
Just moments later – had Emma passed out? – the temperature of the diner seemed to drop. Emma tilted her head slightly to the left; the only movement she could definitely make without falling off the stool and there stood her girlfriend in the doorway. Emma had expected her to come in screaming or at least with a face that said 'just wait until I get you home', but Emma couldn't read this one. So she smiled guiltily at Regina in the hope that she would just let them leave without too much embarrassment. Regina walked over to her and while keeping her eyes locked with Emma she addressed Ruby "thank you Ruby for ringing me. I was worried our hero here had met a terrible accident. The last I heard from her was hours ago when she was on her way home". So that was it thought Emma, she's going down the guilt trip avenue. Better start making amends.
"I'm sorry beautiful, I'm a real ass. Please take me home" Emma slurred slightly as she leaned against Regina, looking up at her with her best puppy dog eyes. Regina rolled her eyes at her girlfriend and indulged her in a smile. Shaking her head she put her arm around Emma's waist and pulled her upright. Emma grabbed at Regina's shoulders for support and nuzzled her nose into her neck. Regina enjoyed the closeness for a moment, but quickly realised that Emma was putting her full weight on her, and if she didn't get them moving soon, they would topple on to the floor. "Come on Sheriff, let's get you home. Henry's on his own with Calon." That information suddenly galvanised Emma into moving and although she still needed Regina's arm around her to steady her, she was able to head for the door without stumbling into anything.
Getting Emma into the car was a lot harder than Regina had anticipated. She seemed to have extra arms and legs and was floppy like a sleeping baby. Expect Regina couldn't pick Emma up as she would a child, so she had to contend with pushing and shoving until Emma was upright and in the seat and buckled in. As Regina seated herself in the drivers side, Emma leaned over and started kissing her neck and tracing patterns on the inside of her left thigh. "Emma, not here, lets get you home okay. The boys are waiting for us". She picked Emma's hand up from her thigh and moved it over to Emma's lap and Emma hummed in her ear. "Mmmmm Regina, you smell so good. You make me feel so hot. I want you Regina. I love you so much. Mmmmm". Regina pushed Emma's face away and turned to look at her. "Well, I guess this answers the 'what sort of drunk is Emma?' question then. You're a horny, happy drunk!" Emma gazed lovingly at her. "Only for you Regina. Only for you". Regina swung the car around and headed for the house.
It was just as hard getting Emma out of the car as it was getting in, but at least Emma was less floppy now. As Regina supported Emma up the path to the door she could see movement in one of the windows – Henry was looking out for them. "Emma, try and act a bit more sober once we're inside. Henry will be worried if he sees you this drunk." Emma looked into worried eyes and stopped walking. "Anything you say my darling gorgeous Regnian….um….Regia…no…..Regi….mmmm that's gonna have to do…." Regina rolled her eyes and unlocked the front door. Henry was sitting on the top step of the entrance hall. When Emma focused enough to see him clearly, he was laughing quietly and shaking his head at her. Emma wanted to tell him she was sorry he was seeing her drunk, but she knew that the sentence was struggling to form in her head, so it was never going to leave her mouth with any sense and Regina would just be unhappier with her. "Was Calon okay darling?" Regina asked. As Henry nodded his head, she added, "Why don't you go on up to bed then Henry? Thanks for looking after your brother, but now I need to look after your Ma". Henry laughed again as he got up. Emma thought she saw sympathy in his eyes as he looked at her before he ascended the stairs. Uh oh, she was in real trouble if Henry felt sorry for her!
Regina took her into the living room and dumped her on the sofa. Emma leaned heavily on the cushions as she tried to stay upright. As Regina left the room to get them – was it a drink Regina had said she was getting? – Emma staggered up and headed for the cd player. She had a brilliant idea how to get Regina back on side.
Regina came back in to the living room and pressed the door closed with her hip. Emma was upright and leaning on the mantelpiece over the fireplace. Regina went to her and put the two mugs of warm milk on the mantle and Emma took the opportunity to slide her arms around her waist from behind. She leaned over Regina's shoulder and whispered into her ear. "I'm sorry for tonight babe. I didn't mean to get drunk. I hadn't even planned on drinking. But everyone was so kind to me and…..well…..I'm drunk…" Regina turned in her arms and looped her arms around Emma's neck. Emma pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I love you Regina, just dance with me".
They swayed slowly to "have I told you lately". Regina's head rested on Emma's shoulder with her face tucked into her neck. Emma was able to lay her cheek on Regina's forehead and kiss her there softly when the mood took her. And the mood was certainly taking her tonight. "When's the other boot gonna drop Regina?" Emma broke the silence. Regina frowned at her. Her mind was far away as Emma held her. "I mean, I got drunk, almost fall over drunk. I didn't come home for dinner – and I bet you cooked something amazing. Then you had to come get me. Seems like you should be furious with me. But here you are, holding onto me and I'm a bit lost". Emma had an adorable confused look, and being drunk wasn't helping her confusion. Regina smiled at her and cupped her cheek.
"I love you, Swan. I've never felt like this before. It outweighs every other feeling I have. And I'm sure I should feel angry – and, yes, I'm not happy that I had to leave the boys to go and get you – but all I really care about is that you're safe. The people in town love you and I'm really happy for you." Regina pressed her lips to Emma's, leaning into her and as they deepened the kiss, Emma started to lose her balance. Before they landed in a heap on the floor, Regina pulled back and took Emma by the hand. "Come on Sheriff, think it's time to take you to bed".
As Regina led her upstairs, turning off lights as they went, Emma's hands seemed to be everywhere. Regina batted her hands away as she shut their bedroom door. "Behave now Sheriff, I'm going to get you some water, to lessen tomorrow's hangover" and she sauntered into the bathroom. Emma fumbled in her pockets, retrieving what she needed and then flopped down onto the bed. When Regina came back into the room, there was her girlfriend, lying at an awkward angle, legs dangling over the side of the bed. Regina knelt down to take Emma's boots off and as she did, Emma got up on her elbows and grinned saucily at her. "Hey Queen, I've had an idea". Regina looked up grinning, but when she saw what Emma was holding, her smile faded. "No Emma, put those away please". Emma was swinging her handcuffs from her finger. "Ah come on babe. You keep calling me sheriff, so I thought I'd arrest my bad girl and punish her!"
Regina got up and walked towards her vanity, taking off her jewellery as she went. "I'm sorry Emma, I'm just not into all that sort of stuff". Emma got up and made her way carefully towards Regina. "Hey, come on babe, it'll be fun" and she grabbed her wrist and pulled her back over to the bed, pushing her down on it.
Regina couldn't say Emma was being aggressive, but her actions coupled with the handcuff 'threat', meant that when Emma got on top of her, Regina felt trapped and a little scared. "Please Emma, don't". Regina pushed at Emma's shoulders, but Emma grabbed her hands and held them above her head.
That was it for Regina. "Please Emma. Please don't. I'll be good. I promise". She wasn't crying, but Emma could hear tears in her voice and see fear written all over her face. Suddenly feeling very sober, Emma scrambled off Regina and helped her sit up. "I'm sorry Regina, I'm sorry. What did I do? I didn't mean to hurt you!" Emma was close to tears now herself. Regina was sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging herself. Emma moved closer and tentatively put her arm around her. Regina was fast. Her head was burrowing into Emma's chest as her arms closed around her and Emma held her as tightly as she could. "I'm sorry, my Regina. I love you. Please babe, don't cry, just talk to me"
"I….can't Emma. Please don't make me…..Just let's go to bed." Emma and Regina silently got ready for bed, the mood now very sombre. Emma lay on her back on her side of the bed, waiting for Regina to finish checking on the boys before she came to bed. Regina got in slowly and carefully and Emma risked a glance at her. She looked so sad and so lost. She too lay on her back and stared at the ceiling in the darkness. Very slowly, Emma snuck her hand across to Regina's and laced their fingers together. "Regina…..? I….um….." Regina flung herself into Emma's arms. "please just hold me Emma, just hold me tonight and love me". Emma kissed the top of Regina's head. "Always, Regina, always". And Emma resolved to ask Regina exactly what that was about in the morning.
Morning came with lots of light. Bright and sharp and cruel. Before she even opened her eyes, it felt like she had shards of glass under her eyelids. She really didn't want to risk opening them. However, an insistent hand was shaking her shoulder and Emma knew that it would continue until she acknowledged it. "Regina, I can't open my eyes. I can't move and you shaking me makes me hurt in places that don't make any sense. Please just let me die here. I love you babe. Have a long and wonderful life. I don't think I'm gonna make it through the next hour." Emma voice was raspy and low. But it echoed through her head and made it spin even more. She felt a cool cloth being placed on her head and her lips had the slightest pressure as Regina kissed her. Regina kneeled over her and whispered in her ear. "There is a glass of water and some painkillers next to the bed. I've run a bath for you and I'm taking the boys out for a few hours so you've got some peace to recover". At that Emma did open her eyes. Wrinkling her head in confusion made it ache, but Regina smoothed her hand over Emma's face and explained. "You have a few hours to get over this hangover and become human. After that normal family life resumes. We have two loud boys and I don't want them creeping round their own home because their mom has had too much to drink – even if it wasn't her fault".
Emma opened her eyes as wide as she could face and stopped Regina before she got off the bed. "You're too good to me. I don't think I could love you any more than I do and then you do something amazing like this and I fall more in love with you". Regina smiled and kissed her once more before getting off the bed; blowing her a kiss as she left their bedroom, pulling the door tight as she went.
Emma was the luckiest woman in the world. Her early life may have been horrible, but she couldn't be happier now. And with that thought she sat up and thought about starting her day. As she swallowed the tablets that Regina had left, she realised she stank and that bath that Regina mentioned was definitely in order. She gingerly made her way to the bathroom and inhaled the aroma of the bath oil and indulged. She peeled her clothes off and sank into the now cooling water. It was perfect. She had a few hours before Regina and the children would be home, so she started to organise herself. Some greasy breakfast was needed, and then she would slob out in front of the television for a bit. After a sinfully long soak in the tub, Emma left the bathroom and realised it wasn't just her that smelled bad. Their bed stunk! Stale cigarettes and alcohol was trapped in the sheets. They needed to go. As Emma stripped the bed, she realised the breakfast and slobbing around wouldn't be happening today. She wanted to surprise Regina when she got back.
So Emma stripped the bed and put on new, fresh bedding. She washed the breakfast dishes and tidied up Calon's room. Finally, she rang the florist and asked the best flowers they had to be delivered at short notice.
Hours later Henry helped Regina get Calon and his buggy up the steps. They were laughing, but trying to be quiet. Although Regina had told Emma she had a few hours to recover, she warned Henry not to make too much noise when they got in. She didn't really want Emma to suffer. Henry stopped giggling though, when he saw Emma standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She had a strange look on her face that he couldn't quite read. He looked at his little brother and pulled him out of his stroller. "Come on Calon, lets go watch cartoons" and before either mom could react, the boys were gone!
Emma sauntered over to Regina and grasped her hips, pulling them together. Before their lips met, Emma mumbled "I love you Regina, but we need to talk." She brushed a kiss to her lips and pulled Regina towards the kitchen. Emma picked up the bouquet of white roses from the counter top and presented them to Regina with a flourish. "For you, my queen. I love you. Thank you for looking after me last night and being so thoughtful this morning. And…and I wanted to apologise for scaring you last night. All I want to do is love you Regina, I never want to do anything that hurts you. Or brings back bad memories. But that's what it was, wasn't it? I brought up something from your past right?" Regina's chin dropped to her chest and she wouldn't meet Emma's eyes. Emma bent down and caught looked into Regina's eyes, slowly raising her head. "Tell me" Emma whispered as she gathered Regina to her, "tell me and let me help you heal". Regina pressed her face into Emma's neck. "I…she…I….." and she broke down, sobbing into Emma, clutching at the back of her shirt and holding on for dear life. Emma held her, swaying softly, murmuring 'I love yous' to her love and wishing she could take her pain away.
Eventually Regina calmed and her crying ceased. Emma leaned against the kitchen counter, still holding her girlfriend close and quietly asked "What happened beautiful?" Regina didn't lift her head, but spoke quietly "when I was a little girl, I wasn't always a good girl and so my mother needed to punish me. When I was very little, it was enough to lock me in the cellar for a few hours. But as I got older, I worked out how to escape, so she used to tie me up down there. Thick ropes around my wrists." She held up her arm and Emma could see very faint marks that ran around her wrists and some on her forearms. Faded enough not to be seen unless you knew to look for them. "It hurt so much when she tied them and I learned quickly not to pull on my restraints because that made it so much worse. I would beg my mother to let me go, but she never gave in, never stopped, even when I promised I would be good. Sometimes I didn't even know what I had done wrong before she tied me up. She constantly told me it was for my own good. But it hurt so much Emma." Regina gasped and pulled away from Emma sounding panicked. "I swear I've never hurt Henry, Emma. I never even spanked him when he was naughty." She looked at Emma with something like fear in her eyes.
"Hey babe, come back here." And she pulled Regina in tight to her. "First of all, I know you would never hurt Henry. Or Calon. I see how you are with the boys. I see how they are everything to you. And Henry is a happy kid. I know he's had his issues, but believe me, I know what a broken, abused kid looks like. And he's a boy who's grown up with care and love in his life. I've never doubted that. Secondly, you never deserved that from your mother. You should have grown up with love and understanding. Your mother should have protected you, not tortured and abused you. That woman doesn't deserve the title of mother. Me and the boys; we'll make up for all that love you missed. I promise you Regina, I'll love you till the day I take my last breath. And even then, I won't go willingly. I'll never hurt you babe. I'm sorry I scared you with the handcuffs – that will never happen again. We'll only have love in our bedroom that soft and gentle and caring. You're my world Regina." Emma was in tears by the time she had finished speaking and now Regina became the comforter.
"I haven't thought about my mother since you came into my life Emma. She was always there at the edge of my thoughts because I wanted to make sure I never treated Henry the way she treated me. I would always think 'what would my mother do in this situation and then go the other way'. But since you started loving me, she's been gone from my head. Last night just brought back specific memories and I was back there as a teenager, tied up in the cellar with my mother laughing at my fear. I'm sorry I scared you Emma. I love you and I know you would rather cut your own heart out than hurt me". The two women kissed, Regina moving her hands under Emma's shirt and Emma holding Regina's head in her hands, changing the angle to deepen the kiss. They broke apart panting and Emma moved to whisper in Regina's ear. "Know what helps me with a hangover?" Regina shook her head, big eyes looking at Emma. "You. Underneath me. In our bed". She grinned saucily. Regina pulled away. "Urgh, no way am I getting back in that bed Emma. It smelled like a stale bar this morning." And she folded her arms stubbornly. Emma took Regina's forearms and pulled, wrapping them around her back and holding Regina close again. "Uh-uh beautiful, I've changed the bedclothes and washed them and cleaned up the room. It smells fresh now." Regina pretended to think it over for a moment. "Well, the boys are occupied and if you think it will help your hangover, then we really should. Just to help your recovery of course….." Emma nodded enthusiastically. "….just to help me get over the hangover, yes that's right…." Fingers clasped together, Emma led Regina out of the kitchen and ran right into Henry who threw his arms around her waist. "Ma! Are you feeling better now? Can we go and play outside now please? You said you'd help me learn some new soccer tricks. Have you got time now? Mom and Calon can come watch cos it's really sunny out. Please Ma?" Emma looked at Regina. How could she say no to her boy? Regina nodded at her. As much as they both wanted to go upstairs and love each other, they would always put their children first. "Go and get the football Henry, Mom and I will grab Calon and we'll meet you outside."
As Henry ran off, Regina leaned up and kissed Emma hard, running her tongue along her bottom lip until she met Emma's tongue and they battled for dominance for a moment. Breathing heavily Regina broke away and sauntered off, swaying her hips and looking back at Emma. "Can't wait to see what a couple of hours of soccer practise does for your hangover…." She shrieked and ran as Emma lunged for her….
